Teens and Socializing
This past week, I found a new reason to be proud of my 16-year-old daughter. She went to her school’s homecoming dance alone. Now, that may not seem like a big deal to some of you. It didn’t to her. “Mom, it’s no big deal. Lots of girls do it!”
To me, as a mom, it shows a lot of independence and strength of character. When I was 16 a girl wouldn’t dare show up at a school dance without a date at my high school. She would have been some sort of social outcast and been ostracized for the rest of her high school years!
Now, I know things are a little more relaxed these days. No one stones a girl for dressing Goth, or totally ostracizes her for being into math and science. But, from my point of view, I can’t help being impressed with my daughter.
I now daughters of friends and relatives who would be mortified to have to admit that they don’t have a boyfriend right now! They jump from one guy to another, simply because they think they have to be seeing someone to be okay in their own little social circle. It can be a vicious cycle in high school.
I think, what it really amounts to, is that I’m proud of my daughter’s ability not to knuckle under to peer pressure. If she can do something like this (even if she does say it’s “no big deal,” she’s a lot more likely to say “no” to alcohol and drugs, and to guys pressuring her for sex when she’s not ready. All this really means a lot to a mom.
peer pressure, teen socializing, teens, teenagers, high school
October 25th, 2006 at 8:16 am
That’s awesome. Self esteem is such an issue with teens. I see many people who even as adults define themselves by who they are with and not who they are. It’s great to see that she doesn’t cave to social convention and makes her own decisions.
October 25th, 2006 at 8:34 am
Thanks, Keith. I know what you mean by people defining themselves by who they are with. I went through a period of that myself when I was younger. I’ve tried to teach my daughter that being yourself and making your own decisions is the right way to go. I hope I didn’t sound like I was tooting my own horn with this post. To me, it was an affirmation that my work as a parent had made an impression!
October 25th, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Ah, but she still succumbed to the pressure to NEED to go to the dance. Hehe… =)
Just a little devil’s advocate for you there.
I think the adults of today would be very surprised at the social diversity of a public high school in this day in age. There is such a myriad of categories that a teen can fall into and still not be classified as an “outcast”; it is good that you like the one your kid has chosen.
October 25th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Thanks, David. I really need someone to keep my feet on the ground when I’m just bursting with parental pride! HaHa
The social diversity at high schools today does surprise me, but it also pleases me. I’m glad that teens can be part of a group of their own choosing. What worries me as a mom (and as a former social worker) is that there are always going to be those few kids who don’t fall into ANY group, and end up simply falling through the cracks.