Parenting Teens

In an editorial titled Rockin’ on with the next generation in today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Keith Still asks a question of interest for parents of teens and children of all ages.

What is an appropriate age for a kid’s first concert? I’m not talking about outdoor music festivals where the air’s relatively fresher and the decibel levels decrease as you move away from the stage, but acts that are playing in big indoor venues or small clubs? Does the size of venue or the age of the act change your answer?

Now, obviously this doesn’t apply only to teenagers. If a parent is really into music and enjoys going to concerts, they’ll probably take their kids to a few before they hit their teen years. Personally, I think that this, like many other things, depends not only on the act or the venue, but on the maturity of your kids.

When my daughter was not quite three years old, I took her to see “Barney the Dinosaur” in concert. She reminds me to this day that she turned out all right in spite of that dreadful experience! Of course, she doesn’t remember how hard she was laughing, clapping and singing along! However, I guess she’s entitled, as a teenager, to forget the embarrassing parts!

When she was 13, I took her to see Hanson. She had grown up right along with them and was dying to see them. Surprisingly, she still loves Hanson. She has seen them in concert three times now. She’s also seen Snow Patrol, Hinder and several others. She and I go to concerts together. The last concert we saw was last year’s “American Idol” winner, Taylor Hicks. We plan to see Chris Daughtry next month.

But, as some commenters to Keith Still’s question pointed out, it’s not really the bands or singers, but the behavior of the audience, which calls into question whether kids should attend. One mom recalled taking her 8-year-old son to a Jimmy Buffet concert and losing all credibility with him, when she tried to convince him that the haze of smoke hanging over the crowd was “just cigarettes”. There have been alcohol sales at some of the concerts my daughter and I have attended together-and some bizarre behavior by some of those who were drinking. However, so far we haven’t run into anything really bad.

So far, the question of her attending a concert alone with friends has not come up. When it does, I’m sure I’ll question her very closely about who’s performing, where they’re performing, who she’s going with, how late they’ll be out, etc., etc., etc. My worry is not so much the drinking or drugs. I know my daughter’s opinion of all that and I know her friends pretty well.

My fear is of how the other people at the concert will be acting-both with and without the benefit of alcohol and drugs. My question is not do I trust my daughter and her friends. It’s can they take care of themselves when faced by problems with other people.
I’d probably let her go, along with instructions to phone me at prearranged times and let me know she’s okay. After all, in less than two years she’ll be eighteen-not really much older, but able to go anywhere without my permission. I just wish I could trust other people as much as I trust her.

How do you feel about your teens and concerts? Do you attend concerts with them? Do they go to concerts on their own with friends? At what age do you think it’s appropriate for them to attend a concert? I’d really like some input on this question!

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