Parenting Teens

This is a wonderful read for parents of teen and pre-teen girls. Stressed-Out Girls: Hleping Them Thrive In the Age of Pressure by Roni Cohen-Sandler deals with the stresses girls face today, and how parents can help them cope.

In this excellent book, which gives a lot of practical advice, Dr. Cohen-Sandler discusses how girls experience stress differently than boys:

• In general, girls report far more school-related stress than do boys. They believe that to be successful, they have to be extraordinary in every area of their lives: academic, social, extracurricular, and appearance.

• Compared to girls, boys report being less invested in school. They feel less connected, are less likely to feel successful, and have fewer worries about college.

• Although all teens report being burdened by too much homework and tests, girls are 55% more likely than boys to say they pressure themselves to get good grades and do well in school.

• Girls are also more stressed-out as they go through their school days because of social stress: they constantly monitor their relationships with peers and teachers.

• Heightened worries about appearance—body image, clothing choices, and make-up—further exacerbate the daily stress of teen girls.

• Whereas boys express stress more directly, girls keep their stress hidden.

In addition, she talks about the high levels of stress girls suffer:

• The majority of girls report feeling “too much� or “way too much� pressure to get good grades.

• More than 2/3 of girls in middle school say they “usually� or “always� pressure themselves to succeed. By high school, that number rises to _.

• Almost 2/3 of girls in middle school and 3/4 of girls in high school believe the amount of free time they have is “too little� or “not nearly enough.�

• Nearly 2/3 of girls in middle school and high school report that the amount of homework they get is “too much� or “way too much.�

Other helpful topics include how stress for girls worsens over time, and what parents and teachers can do to recognize and help alleviate stress. Although many parents and educators endorse the book, some of the most telling comments come from the girls themselves. One girl wrote “I am currently reading your book Stressed Out-Girls, and I love it! I am probably one of the busiest and most stressed-out girls in my class. Being senior class president, the head of 2 clubs, varsity tennis captain, and taking eight classes in school (not to mention trying to get into college!) the word “pressure” is nothing new to me. I often take on too much, and find it hard to say “no” when asked to do something. I barely made it through Junior year, because I took on too much and had a huge mental breakdown. My grades went down and I wish I could just start over again.”

This book can really open your eyes to the sources of stress for your teenage daughter! Together, my daughter and I sat down and realized there were sources of stress of which she was not even aware! I’d recommend the book for any parents of teen and pre-teen daughters. If you’re a mom, it can also be an eye-opener to some of the sources of stress in your own teenage years!

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