Parenting Teens

I carefully planned to have my children two years apart in age. I did this, knowing that it would be hectic, but with the ultimate hope that they would be closer and better friends then my sister and I were when we grew up. Sure, my sister and I are great friends now - but back then? Well, she likes to tell people I pulled her down the hallway by her hair, when the truth of the matter is that I pulled her down the hallway by her hair arms like any bullying big sister would. If she had just done what I TOLD her too…

…but anyway. She and I were five years apart -much like my own daughters (Mom, stop laughing. It’s your fault, I’m sure of it. Wishing such agony on me…). My two oldest have that magical 2.5 years difference in age, and they’ve proved what I thought might be true. They’re great friends. Even with all of the arguments, fights, bullying (on BOTH sides) and wrestling matches on the living room floor - they’re still friends.

Thus, it’s no surprise that their core group of friends interact, and even like each other, despite the age differences. (The boys are all 16-17, the girls 14-15) When we have slumber parties, there is a LOT of laughter and giggling and squealing, and sword fights and so on and so forth. They’re all a great bunch of kids, and I love having them all crowded into the house.

And yes, everyone sleeps separately, Nana. When they sleep. Man, can they giggle for HOURS!

About two years ago, the flirting started. I expected it - after all, the girls mature faster, which puts them on an even playing field, right? The boy seemed to spent most of the time flirting with the girl’s BFF. I, of course, being the kind sensitive parent that I am (shush, you!) proceeded to tease them mercilessly, and take the above picture. I posted it with the caption “I’ve seen the future and I’m skeered!” on my personal page, and for the past two years since that picture, we’ve periodically teased the two of them about dating. Eventually. When they’re 87.

Don’t think they were offended by this teasing! Oh no. There was blushing, and denials, and the flirting never stopped. In fact, it might have stepped up a notch now and again, but all in all, it was still just fun, harmless flirting.

So, homecoming is next week. (You all can see where this is going, can’t you?) On a phone call to check in from some place in town, just as we were hanging up, the boy said quickly “Oh, hey, Mom?” which always means this is not a last minute question, but something he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask in person. Where I could tease him mercilessly from close proximity. Heh. It went a little like this:

Him: So, um, you think I should ask her to homecoming?
Me: Do you want to?
Him: yeah. kinda. yeah.
Me: So ask her. What’s the worst that could happen?
Him: She could say no.
Me: and then you’d go with the group anyway, and still have fun as friends right?
Him: Right.
Me; and so your problem is…
Him: getting her away from my sister long enough to ask.
Me: Ever think of asking your sister for help?
Him: …
Me: (smirks)
Him: She is kinda my insider info, huh? Thanks mom, bye!

I knew the moment he hung up with me, my daughter’s txt message alert would go off. I was right. She, of course, told me right away. He’d asked if the girl thought that M. would say yes, and how to get her alone. The answers were yes, and she’d take care of it.

So, after school today - there were two conversations. First off, the boy.

Me: Well?
Boy: Got a date for the dance.
Me: Score! Blog fodder!
Boy: (rolls eyes)
Me: Hey, you gotta keep doing this stuff and telling me so I have stuff to write.
Boy: (again with the eyes… they’re gonna get stuck if he’s not careful..)
Me: don’t spend all your paycheck now. You gotta at least get her a flower.
Boy: Whatever Mom. (turns to his friend G, whispers) do I gotta get a flower?
G. yes.
Boy: ok.

And then they were off to do whatever it is that they do when they’re together at G’s place. Today it involved a guitar. Last time it was swords. You never know with those two! Then it was the girls turn… and I got the details.

The Girl: So - we went into the lunchroom for snack and I only had my money for lunch not the pre-lunch munch, right? So M. was in the line and The Boy was in there already so I nudged him and was all look! she’s in the line! without me! and he was all ok, cool, and then when she finished paying I pushed her over toward him and she was all huh? and I was all ‘push’ and then I stood back and totally watched and he was all ‘wanna go to homecoming with me?’ and she was all ‘huh?’ and he was all want. to go. to homecoming. with me? and she was all sure…? and he said cool, talk to you later and gave her a hug and walked away right?

Me: good god child, breathe!

The Girl: whatEVer. and so I went over to her, she was like just standing there all still and staring after him and stuff right? And so I was all ’so, I hear you have a date for homecoming’ and she was all I guess I do.. and so I asked her the important question mom, I was all did you say yes so you didn’t hurt his feelings or like yes because you like him - as if we don’t know already, right? So she said she said yes because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings because she does kinda like him. So yeah! I totally got them together!

Me: (nodding along - certainly couldn’t get a word in edgewise…) Cool. Well! Guess maybe she should rethink that wearing jeans option, huh?

Girl: hahahah. you’re funny mom.

So - you’d think it ended there, right? Nope. My sister called not long afterwards and told me she’d run into M’s dad. Apparently he gave her hell all the way home (jokingly) because a REAL gentleman would have asked her dad first because she’s only 14. I’m thinking it’s a dance, not marriage, but whatever. When I told the boy he reminded me how much he dislikes that man, and I encouraged him to be the BETTER man and ask him anyway. Still not quite sure if he’s going to, but I do know it’d shock the hell out of her dad if he does. He’ll have to start dealing with the daddies of his dates sooner or later anyway, might as well start now.

[And? Not long after my sister hung up, my dad called because HE had heard it through the grapevine too. While I was on the phone with Nana giving her the scoop on the other line. Clearly my spy network is working perfectly.]

Time will tell. Time will also tell if this dating his sister’s best friend is a good idea or not. And if I survive it. In the meantime, I’m sure there will be many stories to use as blog fodder before it’s all said and done! (Now, aren’t you glad I’m not YOUR mom?)