Parenting Teens

I want to wish everyone a happy new year and apologize to readers of this blog for my long absence. For the past several months, I’ve found myself having a classic “sandwich generation” crunch. My father (who’s in his late 70’s) has had a serious illness and needed someone to stay with him. Unwilling to trust him to strange caregivers, unless it was absolutely necessary, my brother, sister and I split up the task.

Since my work hours are more flexible than theirs, I tended to stay more often. Wouldn’t have a really big problem updating my blog except that he lives three hours away from me. I spent a great deal of my time driving back and forth-trying to make sure I spent time with my daughter and fiance, as well as with my dad. Also, unfortunately, my dad has no internet connection at his house so, when I was there, I was totally disconnected!

He’s now recovered to the point where he can stay on his own most of the time, with frequent visits from my brother and sister, who both live much closer to him, and I’m now making my visits on weekends. He should be making a full recovery soon.

Now, a bit more about handling “sandwich generations” problems when you have a teenager. My 16-year-old has been a BIG help to me during the past months. She has cooked, cleaned and done a lot of things which made being away from home so much a bit easier-all while keeping up with her schoolwork, and getting ready for the holidays. I don’t think I could have done it without her! Luckily, I had no younger children who had to be cared for, and my fiance was there to help her with transportation to school and activities.

However, no amount of help can make up for missing family members and friends. When I was with my father, I constantly missed my daughter, fiance, and friends. When I was at home, I constantly missed, and worried about, my father. I’ve gone through this before, with my mother’s illness and passing almost four years ago. However, although the outcome is better this time, things seemed a bit more poignant with my daughter being older.

Since she began her sophomore year in high school this year, there seems to be a tiny clock ticking away in the back of my mind-a bit like the biological clock, but this one constantly reminds me that my at-home time with my daughter is slipping away. We have always had a very good relationship and I know we’ll continue to be close when she leaves home for college, work, etc., but the relationship will be different.

These past few months have reminded me to cherish every moment with her, because soon her “childhood” will be a thing of the past, and we’ll be relating to each other more as equals. Not that this is a bad thing. My relationship with my own mother was very good when I became an adult and had adult issues to discuss with her. But it means the passing of one era of her life and the beginning of another. My role in her life is changing. I’m wondering if it would be different if I still had younger children at home. Maybe some of you out there could let me know your thoughts on that?

Well, I’ve rambled on enough! This is the reason why I’ve been absent for the past several months. I’m happy to be back, and here’s wishing all of us a happy and productive year!

New Year, parents, teens, teenagers, sandwich generation, relationships, parenting