Heeelp!!! It’s A Teenager!!!
At what point did parents start to dread the teen years so much? People email me and post comments on this site and others, saying things like!
“OMIGOD! My daughter’s a teenager!!!”
“Please HELP! My son’s turned into a teenager!!!”
“My sweet little child is now a TEENAGER!”
It sounds as though a parent has sighted “Godzilla”, or “The Thing That Ate New York”, or some other terrible, misshapen, alien creature from a horror movie! Actually, though, more of them talk as though their teen is like Regan (Linda Blair) from “The Exorcist” and is inhabited by something totally foreign to them, which must be exorcised if the parent is to maintain their sanity.
I hear so many things along those lines these days that, sometimes, I have to wonder if, to a degree, we haven’t turned this into something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do we dread our children becoming teenagers so much, fear their behavior as teens so much, that, somehow, some of that transfers to them? We expect them to be bad, so they are bad, just to meet our expectations?
Sometimes, I think that we are simply looking so hard for the bad behavior-or worrying so much about the bad behavior-that we forget to look for the good, or simply overlook it.
Spend this Easter weekend looking for some good behavior in your teen-even if you’re convinced you won’t find any! Find something to compliment him/her about-something about which you can say you are proud of him/her or a trait you are glad they have. Spend a little extra time with them and find out something you didn’t know before. It’ll be a great experience for you!
parenting teens, parenting teenagers, Easter, Godzilla, Linda Blair, The Exorcist, teen behavior
April 7th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
I’ve heard that the way kids act when then start grade school can be a weak version of the way they’ll be as a teen. A quiet young kid would be a darling, the grumpy, I’m not getting out of bed type will be an ogre.
My daughter was the latter, I’ve got another six years to see if the theory works.
A great thing about parents using sites like ours is that they can see that most kids are like theirs, and they’re not alone.
April 8th, 2007 at 7:30 am
I agree with you. There’s not inherently horrible about teenagers!
April 8th, 2007 at 11:18 am
I’ve got two great teenage sons. Perfect, no way, but yes, great.
I’ve always enjoyed spending time with teens, I used to manage a record store when I was in my early 20s and even then I loved talking with the teens (and pre-teens) who would come in.
I’ve chaperoned a few teen functions and generally, even when they’re acting up, if you treat them with respect and the expectation that they’ll do the right thing, they live up to it.
April 13th, 2007 at 2:08 am
[...] I don’t know. Sure, my kids might be lying to me, but I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt first. A lot of folks fear the teenage years - but you know? I find myself having more fun with my kids than ever. Hopefully that’ll keep me in tune with them and what they need until they finally decide they’ve had enough of ole mom and move out. [...]
April 15th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Hey… thanks for the great post.
I just wanted to let you know that I gave you a shout out on our blog… and linked to you.
Keep up the great work!
Mitch