Happy Holidays!
I know, it’s been a few days, but in my defense? I totally got the Stomach Flu for Christmas - likely from one of the teenagers - and I was certain you all wouldn’t want to come here to read me whining about how horrible I felt despite the fact that omg Christmas Eve Pizza Party at my Sister’s house was awesome and loud and festive and Christmas morning was fun and exciting and the Christmas Ham at Nana’s was delicious - at least it was going DOWN, if ya get my meaning…
So I took a few days off, that’s all I’m sayin’.
Speaking of contagious diseases, and the teenagers that give/get them (Oh that’s a lovely segue, isn’t it?!) I know you all are dying to know what they thought of getting STDs for Christmas, aren’t you! So here, in the spirit of Christmas giving, each of them allowed me to take their picture for a change, with only my son being all finger flippy (and yes, Nana, I totally threw things at him for it) sarcastic about the picture. He hates pictures. That’s why I’m sure to post them. heh. Everyone else allowed it, though, just so I could share them with you:
Isn’t that the goofiest bunch of teenagers you’ve ever seen? They’re all good kids though, and I’m glad they’re all “mine” - by birth, by ‘adopting’, by chance. They make me laugh, they make me shake my head in dismay, they make me groan - but most of all, they make me happy.
I hope your holidays contained some smiling, smart-ass teenagers to make you laugh as well - and, you know, at least one less contagious disease.
PS: One of the girls, B, totally had her boyfriend going. After she received her gift, she got in the car and had the following conversation:
B: Dude. I got something serious to talk to you about.
N: What?
B: I just found out - Mom just told me. I got Chlamydia.
N: (FREAKS THE HELL OUT) OMG WHAT?! How? B! You should have TOLD me! The doctors are all closed today! We have to get you in!
B: DUDE, mom just told me, I just found out, I told you right away!
N: OMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! (Continues to Freak the Hell out)
B: (starts laughing - pulls out her recently received STD gift bag) I got it from Mom. See?
N: That is wrong on so many levels. So. Very. Wrong.
I love my kids, man. All of them.
January 1st, 2009 at 5:39 pm
[...] The first gifts I completed were two condom amulets for Lessa’s adopted daughters. [...]
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:18 pm
[...] Abstinence in the real world by Lessa We talk about sex a lot in our house. I’ve have two teenagers and have never been squeamish about giving detailed descriptions and scarring my kids for life. “You were conceived not as you wish to believe, through immaculate conception, but through sex. FAT PEOPLE SEX.” I’m also the one who gave all the teenagers STD’s for Christmas. [...]