Parenting Teens

“For a boy to reach adulthood feeling that he knows his father, his father
must allow his emotions to be visible-hardly an easy task when most
males grow up being either subtly or openly taught that this is not
acceptable behavior. A father must teach his son that masculinity and
feelings can go hand in hand.”

Kyle D. Pruett, professor and child psychiatrist, in The Nurturing Father(Warner Books, 1987). After 20 years, this quote is still timely and, in the case of many men, still a difficult thing to do, especially with teens.

This book is still an exceptionally good, and highly recommended, book for fathers to read. Pruett based this book on his findings in a five-year study of 17 two-parent families, in which the father was the primary caregiver. This book is highly supportive of fathers and talks about the ways in which fathers can and should share their emotions with their children. It was Pruett’s conclusion in this book(and most of us will agree) that father’s nurture well, but differently.

As a father, how do you feel you relate to your teenage son? How your own father related to you will, no doubt, be a large factor. Although men showing emotion has become more acceptable, it is often still not easy to incorporate this into parenting, especially when your sons become teenagers.

To a large number of men, there is still something almost taboo about showing emotion, even occasionally. Men must be strong and unyielding-providers and protectors. However, letting your teenage son know that showing his emotions is okay is especially important during the teen years.

Teenage boys too often suppress their feelings, which can lead to depression and behavior problems. Teen boys need outlets for their emotions, and who better to give them an outlet than their fathers. Let your teenage son know that it is acceptable to you to cry when he’s unhappy, to vent when he’s angry, to show his happiness when he’s feeling good.

Often, it is not easy to model this type of behavior for your teen son, especially if your own father did not model it for you. Reading The Nurturing Father can be a good beginning to helping your teenage son toward a more healthy outlook-and to being a good father to his own children one day.

fathers, sons, teenage sons, father-son relationships, teen emotions