Parenting Teens

Ten.
Double Digits.
“Pre-Teen”
OMFG mah baby is HOW OLD?
She’s TEN.

I’m not quite sure how I let such a travesty happen. Ten years ago today, my ’surprise’ baby was born, long and lean even then, loud and proud and her very own person from the very start. Not a mini-me, despite her blue eyes, reddish-blond hair, but a mini-daddy in attitude and… well, everything else. While The Boy and Peppermist are like my little clones - much to their dismay when I catch them in things they didn’t realize I’d already thought of and tried 20 years ago - The Pup? She’s been different from day one.

She was all legs and arms, with a butt so tiny she had to wear preemie diapers for a month. She did not take to the breast, and after 4 weeks of trying, I gave up and put her on the bottle - which she took to like a champ, plumping up a little and getting bigger and stronger by the day. She actually crawled first, while her older siblings insisted on skipping that to go straight to walking. She refused to grow her top middle teeth first, getting the outer set a full month before those came in, making her my little fanged howler.

Oh yes. She didn’t cry - she HOWLED. Like a wolf. It was the most precious(ly annoying) thing EVER.

Despite the fact that her siblings potty trained early, she would NOT be trained until SHE was ready - leading me to finally in desperation tell her that the entire state of Alaska was out of diapers, so dammit, put on those Dora panties like a big girl! She never had an accident after that.

Once she learned to talk, she never stopped - it’s 24-7, even in her sleep. She is a constant bundle of energy, unable to sit still even when reading, or doing some other quiet activity. Until she stops moving for more than 30 seconds, then she falls fast asleep for 8 solid (not exactly quiet) hours at night, or a quick hour long cat nap, during the day.

She’s a smartass (gee, SHOCKER there huh?), she’s strong, she’s STILL long and lean, and she’s got a competitive streak that makes her daddy’s pale in comparison. She is determined, and has a strength of spirit that amazes me, even when it’s driving me completely insane. She smiles and sings and bounces and manipulates the hell outa poor folks who can’t see through her champion teary-eyed single tear down the cheek pity face. She makes friends easily, but holds grudges forever, she is the first to help out a smaller child, or even an older one, if they need her, and she’s never met a stranger - just friends she doesn’t know yet.

She’s amazing.
She’s my pup - and today?
She’s ten.

We’re still working on the fashion sense.

Oh - and to answer the title question? This morning, when I woke her up:
Me: Good MOOOOOORNING! Do you know what DAY IT IS?
Her: *grumblesnarlgroan*
Me: That’s RIGHT! Get UP!
Her: if you LOVED me, you’d let me SLEEP on my BIRTHDAY
Me: Oh well. GET UPPPPPPPPPP!
Her: *grumblesnarlgroangrowlcompain*

It’s official. She fits in here just fine.

When the ever lovely Melissa (Plugged In PR for Capcom) contacted me about reviewing the brand spanking new Neopets Puzzle Adventure, I expected fun, squeals, and squabbles from my girls. What I didn’t expect was the shockingly unusual sight of my daughters working TOGETHER. The laughter, the helping, the excitement, and the groans - it was all there.

I love my life!

So, as I mentioned before, the Neopets Puzzle Adventure is out now, just in time for Christmas. You might think, with a name like “Neopets” that it’s for the younger ages, but this is no easy-peasy elementary puzzle… or is it?

We waited eagerly for our PC copy, since I’m a horrible, awful, terrible mom who hasn’t let her kids have a DS or Wii yet. (Inorite? SO MEAN! Auntie got HER kids a Wii! (so go play over there, ya ingrates!) GOSH!) It arrived today, and we set about installing it for the girls. Minor problem as we tried to put it on the computer without internet access first, and it complained about it, so we moved it to my computer. Inorite? If I’m such a mean mom, why did I let them take over MY computer for the evening?!

We got it installed, figured out, and I let the girls at it.

And I left. I had to go into town to take some cash to one of my ‘other’ kids, as well as deliver a forgotten phone to my son at work, get my Diet Crack, etc. You know, mom stuff. Including being shocked at spending less than $50 to fill my gas tank for the first time in months. Yay me!

I returned, expecting to find that the girls had already beaten the game, or their arguing had ended in copious amounts of bloodshed. What I found was giggling girls, frustrated yet determined. It seems that they’d been trying to beat the second puzzle, and weren’t doing so well. The Girl, 14, was growling, as her little sister watched wide-eyed and tried to be helpful. They passed it finally, and OH! the CHEERS! And then? They tried another puzzle.

Finally, the Pup, 9, asked if she could try, and The Girl was all. FINE! And you know what happened next, right? Right. The Pup beat that game, and crowed in delight as The Girl? She stared, slack-jawed. And then banged her head on the desk.

Sure, they went on to try some more, working together, with good-natured competitive banter bouncing back and forth, but oh, I’ll never let her forget that her sister beat her in a game she said was too hard. Her YOUNGER sister.

Somedays, it’s FUN to be the mom!

So, I said all of that to tell you this - Get Neopets Puzzle Adventure for your kids - DS, Wii, PC. It’s fun and entertaining, and challenging. I love any game that makes you think, that makes you work at it, and heck, it even brought the girls together without arguing to work out the puzzles together. Anyone who has kids with 5 years age difference knows how very rare that can be!

Besides - it gives you moments like this: Hey, girly! You realize your little sister is better at that game then you, right?!

Man, I LOVE my kids!

PS. Stop gasping, Nana! I have NO idea where she learned such a thing. Honest. And the rest of ya’ll - no comments about the mess that is my desk. Kthxbai!

PPS. I just spent an hour trying to beat tha second puzzle battle too. Too bad the Pup is asleep - bet she could do it!

…that not so fresh… wait. what? No, it’s not a remake of the Mother Daughter team having The Freshness Talk while Running through the Fields Of Flowers and Holding Hands… not really, anyway. What I meant to say was, even after two teenagers and all their friends to practice on, when you look at your youngest at just 9 years old… do you get that feeling that your DOOMED?

This morning, I did.

Now I’ve dealt with grumpy teenagers. I’ve forced them up and out to work and school. I’ve watched them sleep for 20 hours a day and declare themselves EXHAUSTED. I’ve fought with them to clean their rooms, do the dishes, to wash their clothes, teeth, hair and OMG FEET. I’ve done all that times TWO, yet I never once felt the way I did this morning. The sense of impending doom was SO BAD it caused Nana to call and ask what I’d done to that poor put upon child who showed up at her door for breakfast with tears in red-rimmed eyes and a single cuss word on her lips when asked what was wrong: “MOM!”

At 9 years old and the baby of the family, the Pup is outspoken, sassy, smart-assed, loud, and must always be the center of attention. She adores her older siblings, who would rather she would just go away until she is older, though they love her too. You know how it goes. There’s a 7 year age difference between her and the Boy, and 5 years between the sisters.

But this morning? It was hormone hall up in here, years early.

It started with the discovery that “SOMEONE didn’t pull the belt out of my jeans before they WASHED them and now its GONE and I can’t FIND it!” That someone, of course, was her. I gently suggested that she use a different belt, and you would have though I gently suggested she lay her head in my lap and let me poke at her eyes with sharp sticks. “IT WON’T LOOK RIGHT!” she wailed, and I could do nothing but calmly suggest she get the hell dressed already in SOMETHING because OMG CHILD your ride is almost here.

Once her pants were on, with the proper belt, she was still sitting there, staring blankly ahead, with only one sock on. I pointed the obvious out “Get another sock, your boots, your coat, your ride will be here any second.” only to have her wail back at me, “I CAN’T FIND ONE!”

Ok then - so maybe, maybe she would like to quit staring off blankly and oh, I don’t know, LOOK for one? When I suggested such, she went into full panic mode, as I handed her another sock, and sent her to put on her boots. Boots she had set aside so she could find them easily this morning, since all the other shoes were put in the cubbies last night. Boots that were RIGHT BEHIND HER as she emptied the cubbies on by one, flinging shoes everywhere in her attempt to uncover her boots, that were, again, RIGHT BEHIND HER.

I pointed out the boots, shoved the tossed shoes back in the cubby, while telling Papa on the phone she was on her way. But it was not to be finished so easily! Oh NO. Because where… was her coat?

“Here,” I said, helpfully. “Wear this one. It fits, and unlike the other, the zipper won’t keep breaking.” It was a good solution, I thought, as it was pink, and black, and fit, and zipped, and worked. I was wrong.

“I’ll be so EMBARRASSED!” she wailed. Uh. Ok. I had to ask her… why? “Because it’s UGLY and I HATE IT and I can’t BELIEVE you MOM!”

That’s the last I heard as she walked out, slammed the door, and took her tortured soul down to Nana’s house. There, Nana tried to hug her, and nothing would soften the taught frame and anguished being that was my youngest child. Nana did well not to laugh. Out loud, anyway.

Yup, in the retelling of the tale - there’s that feeling again.
DOOM.
I’m DOOMED.

So, anyone want a early hormonal 9 year old? I’ll sell her cheap…

~~~
As I was writing this:
Pup: Whatcha doin?
Me: Selling you on the internets.
Pup: YAY! Sell me to someone nice, who gives me ice cream when I’m bad!
Me: Your request is duly noted. Now shoo.