Parenting Teens

For those of you who don’t follow the music and artists that your teenagers follow,27-year-old rapper T.I.(Clifford Harris, Jr.) is currently in jail in Atlanta. He faces federal weapons-related charges, including possessing three unregistered machine guns, two silencers, and possession of firearms by a convicted felon.

T.I. is a big name in rap. His best-selling albums include King, Urban Legend, and Trap Muzik, as well as the movie soundtrack Hustle and Flow. His movie appearances include ATL and the current American Gangster with Denzel Washington. He hangs out with other rappers like Diddy, Young Jeezy, and Jay-Z. He’s a big influence in the lives of some of your teens out there.

T.I. was arrested on Saturday night, just hours before he was to appear on BET’s Hip-Hop awards in Atlanta. His arrest came as part of a federal sting operation in which his bodyguard was arrested attempting to purchase firearms from an undercover Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) agent. The bodyguard informed the ATF that he was purchasing the weapons for T.I., with money provided to him by the rapper.

The bodyguard also informed the ATF that T.I. had fronted him thousands of dollars to buy guns on four different occasions since July of this year. In cooperation with the ATF, the bodyguard wore a wire while meeting with T.I. to hand over three machine guns and two silencers. When he was told about one of the silencers, T.I. reportedly said “no flash, no bang” and asked for the “change leftover” from the $12,000 he had given the bodyguard for the weapons. At that point, he was taken into custody.

T.I. was convicted of drug distribution in June, 1998 in Georgia. He also has additional arrests, and a probation violation for unlawfully possessing firearms. This prevents him from legally buying guns himself. He will remain in jail at least until Friday, when hearings will be held to determine whether he is eligible for bail, and whether there was probable cause to arrest him.

Sounds like yet another wonderful role model for our kids. If you have teens who are into rap, talk about this situation with them, and follow the news with them. Seeing their idols forced to answer to, and take responsibility for, their actions, just might make them think a little harder before getting into trouble.

For more news on rappers see:
Diddy
Young Jeezy

T.I., Clifford Harris, Diddy, Young Jeezy, American Gangster, ATL, rap music, rappers, teens, teenagers, parenting, parenting teens, parenting teenagers

Selling out concerts, that is! Now that ugly rumors of 14-year-old Miley Cyrus’ pregnancy have proven to be a hoax, she can concentrate once more on her upcoming tour. Those pregnancy rumors that abounded online were found to spring from an altered story from J-14 magazine.

The story had been modified to contain a supposed quote from Miley, which read “I’m going to take good care of my baby, I’ve already gained seven pounds. I was in real shock when it happened accidentally, I went a little to [sic] far. I’m sorry to all of my fans.”

The magazine was quick to deny any involvement in the rumors about Miley. Editor-in-chief Janet Giovanelli said, “Miley is an intelligent, respectable role model for young girls, and we at J-14 pride ourselves on presenting our readers with credible stories and information. This story is completely fabricated!”

So, now that that nasty rumor is history, Miley is back to her tour. For those parents who may be asking, “Who the heck IS Miley Cyrus?”, she plays the fanatically popular Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel’s TV show of the same name. I took the time to watch a couple of episodes.

The show is fairly innocuous. Miley Cyrus plays Miley Stewart, a teen who leads a double life. By day, she’s an everyday schoolgirl. By night, she’s a pop star. Her father is played by Miley’s real-life dad, country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. Is this confusing enough for you? Good. I’d hate to be the only one!

The show has proven to be a big hit for Disney. Disney has been very successful at turning out teenage singer/actresses-Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, etc. And, personally, I don’t find Miley any worse (or any better) than the rest of them.

And her show is, apparently, carrying over well to the concert stage. On her tour, titled Best of Both Worlds, Miley sings onstage as both herself and her Hannah Montana character. And the tickets are going like hotcakes! ‘Tweens and teens can’t seem to get enough of Miley/Hannah. Shows are reportedly selling out within minutes.

So, if you have kids who want to see the show, good luck getting tickets! If you have kids who are going to the show, and dragging you with them-try to relax and enjoy it! The best thing about Miley is that, at least, she’s a better role model for your kids than lots of others out there!

Miley Cyrus, Hanna Montana, Disney Channel, Best of Both Worlds, Billy Ray Cyrus

All the drama! All the excitement! All the screaming! And that was just for Zac Efron! Efron and his High School Musical 2 costars won several awards at the Teen Choice Awards, as did Johnny Depp and his Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s Endcostars. A selected list of winners is below. For a full list of who teens picked as their favorites this year, go to Fox News.

Choice Movie: Action Adventure — “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”

Choice Movie: Drama — “The Pursuit of Happyness”

Choice Movie Actor: Drama — Will Smith (”The Pursuit of Happyness”)

Choice Movie Actress: Drama — Jennifer Hudson (”Dreamgirls”)

Choice Movie Actor: Action Adventure — Johnny Depp (”Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”)

Choice Movie Actress: Action Adventure — Keira Knightley (”Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”)

Choice Movie Actress: Comedy — Sophia Bush (”John Tucker Must Die”)

Choice Movie Actor: Horror/Thriller — Shia LaBeouf (”Disturbia”)

Choice Movie Actress: Horror/Thriller — Sophia Bush (”The Hitcher”)

Choice Movie: Villain — Bill Nighy (”Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”)

Choice Movie: Hissy Fit — Ryan Seacrest (”Knocked Up”)

Choice Movie: Breakout Female — Sophia Bush

Choice Movie: Dance — Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan (”Step Up”)

Choice Movie: Breakout Male — Shia LaBeouf

Choice Movie: Chemistry — Will Smith and Jaden Smith (”The Pursuit of Happyness”)

Choice Movie: Scream — Steve Carell (”Evan Almighty”)

Choice TV: Movie — “High School Musical 2″

Choice TV Show: Comedy — “Hannah Montana”

Choice TV: Reality/Variety Show — “American Idol”

Choice TV Actor: Comedy — Steve Carell (”The Office”)

Choice TV Actress: Comedy — Miley Cyrus (”Hannah Montana”)

Choice TV: Breakout — America Ferrera (”Ugly Betty”)

Choice TV: Male Reality/Variety Star — Sanjaya (American Idol)

Choice TV: Female Reality/Variety Star — Lauren Conrad (”The Hills”)

Choice Music: Single — “Girlfriend,” Avril Lavigne

Choice Music: Male Artist — Justin Timberlake

Choice Music: Female Artist — Fergie

Choice Music: Rap Artist — Timbaland

Choice Music: R&B Artist — Rihanna

Choice Music: Breakout Artist Female — Vanessa Hudgens

Choice Music: Breakout Artist Male — Akon

Choice Music: Love Song — “With Love” - Hilary Duff

Choice Music: R&B Track — “Beautiful Girls,” Sean Kingston

Choice Music: Payback Track — “What Goes Around..,” Justin Timberlake

Choice Male Hottie — Zac Efron

Choice Female Hottie — Jessica Alba

Choice Comedian — Dane Cook

Choice Summer Movie — Drama/Action Adventure — “Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix”

Choice Summer Movie — Comedy/Musical — “Hairspray”

Choice Summer Song — “Hey There Delilah,” Plain White T’s

Choice Summer Artist — Miley Cyrus

Choice Summer TV Show — “Degrassi”

Choice V Cast Video — “The Hills”

Teen Choice Awards, High School Musical 2, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean

The biggest illness affecting ‘tweens right now? According to ABC News it’s High School Musical 2. The sequel to the wildly popular first High School Musical is giving it’s young stars lots of media coverage-Zac Efron on the cover of Rolling Stone, Ashley Tisdale on lots of talk shows, the whole cast on “Good Morning America.”

Tweens and their spending power have made the Disney musical a hit-turning it into a $100 million dollar enterprise. According to Jane Buckingham, president of market research firm Intelligence Group, “They can spend about $50 billion. Increasingly they get their own allowances, they know what brands they like, they are very sure of what they want to buy.”

Director and choreographer Kenny Ortega said of the movies’ popularity among ‘tweens:

“It empowers young people … that they can take the responsibility themselves and be in charge of their own destinies, and that high school can be what they want it to be.”

Are your teens or ‘tweens fans of “High School Musical?” How do you feel about them spending their money on merchandise from the movie?

High School Musical, High School Musical 2, Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, Kenny Ortega, Disney, The Disney Channel, Good Morning America, Rolling Stone, Intelligence Group

It’s time once more for the Teen Choice Awards. The awards will be broadcast on Fox, August 26th. Your teen can vote by going to the above website. Here’s a complete list of nominees. Some really interesting choices on here!

Choice Movie: Action Adventure

300

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End

Spider-Man 3

Transformers

Choice Movie: Drama

Step Up

Stomp the Yard

The Departed

The Guardian

The Pursuit of Happyness

Choice Movie: Chick Flick

Georgia Rule

License to Wed

Music and Lyrics

The Holiday

The Last Kiss

Choice Movie: Comedy

Blades of Glory

Evan Almighty

Knocked up

Night at the Museum

Ocean’s Thirteen

Choice Movie: Horror/Thriller

Disturbia

The Number 23

1408

Hostel: Part II

Saw III

Choice Movie Actor: Drama

Ashton Kutcher - The Guardian

Leonardo DiCaprio - The Departed, Blood Diamond

Channing Tatum - Step Up

Adam Sandler - Reign Over Me

Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness

Choice Movie Actress: Drama

Angelina Jolie - A Mighty Heart

Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls

Lindsay Lohan - Bobby, Georgia Rule

Meagan Good - Stomp the Yard

Scarlett Johansson - The Black Dahlia, The Prestige

Choice Movie Actor: Action Adventure

Shia LaBeouf - Transformers

Chris Evans - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End

Orlando Bloom - Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End

Tobey Maguire - Spider-Man 3

Choice Movie Actress: Action Adventure

Jessica Alba - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Keira Knightley - Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End

Kirsten Dunst - Spider-Man 3

Lena Headey - 300

Megan Fox - Transformers

(more…)

Coming up with fun summer activities to do with your kids changes a little when they’re teens or tweens. For the most part, they no longer like to do crafts with popsicle sticks or make their own treats with little faces done with raisins and cherries! It can be a challenge.

Family activities with teens can be fun for the whole family. So far, in the week-and-a-half that my 16-year-old daughter’s been out of school, we’ve managed to fit in two family movies-Shrek The Third and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Both were great movies, although I didn’t really like the third Shrek as much as I did the first two. We’re also looking forward to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and a few other movies which are coming out this summer.

Concerts are another great thing to do with teens. Find an artist or band you can all agree on seeing. If you never agree on these kinds of things, give a little. You might find that you enjoy some of the same music your teen likes! This Saturday, June 2, my daughter and I will be attending Starfest 2007, a concert presented by Atlanta radio station Star 94. Their lineup this year includes headliners Daughtry, as well as Dashboard Confessional and Augustana. I, personally, could do without Dashboard Confessional and Augustana. I love some of their songs, but am not particularly dying to see them in concert. I did become a big fan of Chris Daughtry during last year’s American Idol, though, so I’m definitely looking forward to seeing him.

Later this summer, we’ll be seeing last year’s American Idol winner, Taylor Hicks and, probably, attending this year’s American Idol concert. In the spirit of giving a little, she’s also accompanying me to a concert whose lineup includes Def Leppard and Journey.

We’ll be enjoying a two-week trip to visit my father, brother and sister-in-law, which is always fun for us. We get to lie around, relax, and just talk and enjoy one another’s company! My sister-in-law is big on antiquing, so we’ll probably do a little of that, as well. Trips to visit grandparents or other family members can be fun activities for teens, as well as younger children.

Summer’s also a great time to catch up on reading. We’re both looking forward to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and we’ve been to the library and stocked up for the next two weeks.

We’ll also be going on a couple of hikes with Dad and probably some short trips like the zoo and the aquarium, since we all love animals. Activities with teens can be a bit more of a challenge but, if everyone’s willing to give a little, they can be easier to find and a lot of fun!

[tags]Shrek The Third, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Daughtry, Dashboard Confessional, Augustana, American Idol, Chris Daughtry, Taylor Hicks[/tags

I’ve found a great site that’s entertaining for both parents and teenagers! It’s called Hollywood Teen Movies and it’s a treasure-trove of information on movies for and about teenagers.

Whether you were a teenager in the 1950’s or are a teen now, if you’re a movie lover, this site is for you!
It covers teen movies of every decade from the ’50’s to the present. It also divides teen movies into different categories, like musicals, action/adventure, slasher flicks, etc. There are movie reviews of every teen movie you can think of, from Elvis’ first film in the ’50’s to now!

There are pages of information on teen idols and teen queens. Again, from the 1950’s (Elvis, James Dean) to the 2000’s (Leonardo DiCaprio, Heath Ledger). There’s info on directors of teen movies like John Hughes. There are quizzes, and a section about teen movies which have had Oscar nominations (Rebel Without a Cause, 1955, Best Actress Nominee-Natalie Wood; American Grafitti, 1973, Best Picture Nominee).

Being a movie buff, this has quickly become a favorite site of mine! I’ve bookmarked it and, if you’re into movies (whether you’re a parent or a teen), so should you! It’s a great place for a parent and teen to compare the favorite movies of their decade!

movies, teen movies, Leonardo DiCaprio, Heath Ledger, Natalie Wood, James Dean, Elvis Presley, Rebel Without a Cause, American Grafitti, John Hughes, Hollywood Teen Movies, parenting teens, parenting teenagers

It’s finally happened. Maybe the world will be a slightly happier place today. Seventeen-year-old Sanjaya Malakar has finally been eliminated from American Idol.

During country music week, the much-maligned Sanjaya just couldn’t onto his fan base (or lack thereof). That leaves only 17-year-old Jordin Sparks to carry the banner for teenagers on American Idol this year. Personally, I admired Sanjaya’s grit. He came back week after week and put himself out there with a smile, despite all the negative publicity and negative comments from judges Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell.

Something tells me that we haven’t seen the last of Sanjaya, though. Although many of us may not be able to put our collective fingers on his appeal, he definitely seems to have it! I think we’ll see more of this teen somewhere in the show business arena!

[tags]American Idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Jordin Sparks, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, parenting teens, parenting teenagers[/a]

In an editorial titled Rockin’ on with the next generation in today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Keith Still asks a question of interest for parents of teens and children of all ages.

What is an appropriate age for a kid’s first concert? I’m not talking about outdoor music festivals where the air’s relatively fresher and the decibel levels decrease as you move away from the stage, but acts that are playing in big indoor venues or small clubs? Does the size of venue or the age of the act change your answer?

Now, obviously this doesn’t apply only to teenagers. If a parent is really into music and enjoys going to concerts, they’ll probably take their kids to a few before they hit their teen years. Personally, I think that this, like many other things, depends not only on the act or the venue, but on the maturity of your kids.

When my daughter was not quite three years old, I took her to see “Barney the Dinosaur” in concert. She reminds me to this day that she turned out all right in spite of that dreadful experience! Of course, she doesn’t remember how hard she was laughing, clapping and singing along! However, I guess she’s entitled, as a teenager, to forget the embarrassing parts!

When she was 13, I took her to see Hanson. She had grown up right along with them and was dying to see them. Surprisingly, she still loves Hanson. She has seen them in concert three times now. She’s also seen Snow Patrol, Hinder and several others. She and I go to concerts together. The last concert we saw was last year’s “American Idol” winner, Taylor Hicks. We plan to see Chris Daughtry next month.

But, as some commenters to Keith Still’s question pointed out, it’s not really the bands or singers, but the behavior of the audience, which calls into question whether kids should attend. One mom recalled taking her 8-year-old son to a Jimmy Buffet concert and losing all credibility with him, when she tried to convince him that the haze of smoke hanging over the crowd was “just cigarettes”. There have been alcohol sales at some of the concerts my daughter and I have attended together-and some bizarre behavior by some of those who were drinking. However, so far we haven’t run into anything really bad.

So far, the question of her attending a concert alone with friends has not come up. When it does, I’m sure I’ll question her very closely about who’s performing, where they’re performing, who she’s going with, how late they’ll be out, etc., etc., etc. My worry is not so much the drinking or drugs. I know my daughter’s opinion of all that and I know her friends pretty well.

My fear is of how the other people at the concert will be acting-both with and without the benefit of alcohol and drugs. My question is not do I trust my daughter and her friends. It’s can they take care of themselves when faced by problems with other people.
I’d probably let her go, along with instructions to phone me at prearranged times and let me know she’s okay. After all, in less than two years she’ll be eighteen-not really much older, but able to go anywhere without my permission. I just wish I could trust other people as much as I trust her.

How do you feel about your teens and concerts? Do you attend concerts with them? Do they go to concerts on their own with friends? At what age do you think it’s appropriate for them to attend a concert? I’d really like some input on this question!

Snow Patrol, Hinder, Taylor Hicks, Chris Daughtry, American Idol, concerts, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, parenting teens, parenting teenagers

Does your teenager have an interest in writing? Have them check out the website Teen Ink. This is a website, book series, and print magazine all written by teens, for teens.

This site has great features like interviews (the current one is with Alicia Keys), contests (current contest is an interview contest with the winner getting an interview with either Steven Spielberg or Martin Sheen), plus the opportunity for teenagers to submit their writings, artwork and photos to be published in the magazine, on the website or in the books.

Their daily features include the following:

*Fiction
*Non-fiction
*Poem
*Review
*Art
*Photo

In addition, they have resourceful links to things like college, summer jobs and teacher information. It’s a wonderful place for parents, teachers and teens to find out what other teens are thinking, saying and writing. So, check out the site and tell me what you think.

Teen Ink, Alicia Keys, Steven Spielberg, Martin Sheen teens, teenagers, teen writing, student writing, college, summer jobs, teen magazines

Carrying on the “American Idol” talent contest genre, 19-year-old Houston, Texas native, Robyn Troup was the winner of “My Grammy Moment.” As the winner of the talent competition, she perfomed onstage with Justin Timberlake at last night’s Grammy Awards. Rapper T.I. also joined the performance.

However, this year, it was slightly older artists, rather than teen favorites who took the major awards. Some favorites of mine, the Dixie Chicks, won Albums of the Year, Record of the Year and Song of the Year for “Not Ready to Make Nice.” Mary J. Blige won Best R&B Album and and Best R&B Song for “Be Without You.”

My 16-year-old and I watched the show together, as usual. She was happy with the wins by Blige and Ludacris for Best Rap Album and Rap Song for “Moneymaker.” Both of us were happy with the wins Gnarls Barkley.

Do you keep up with your teen’s favorite music? Watching awards shows can be a great way to connect with your teenager. It’s a good chance to talk about your favorite music as well as theirs. My daughter has grown up with a good mix of musical tastes, as Ilike to listen to rock, pop, country, jazz and classical. She’s heard everything from the Rolling Stones to Willie Nelson and can identify the artist of just about any song that comes on the radio. In addition, she’s introduced me to a lot of newer artists that I might not have listened to otherwise-John Mayer, Hinder, The Killers, etc. It’s been a great way for us to connect.

Start listening to the radio and watching some videos with your teens. It’s a good way to get involved!

Grammy Awards, American Idol, Robyn Troup, Justin Timberlake, T.I., Dixie Chicks, Mary J. Blige, Ludacris, Gnarls Barkley, Rolling Stones, Willie Nelson, John Mayer, Hinder, The Killers

Do you have a teenager in band, chorus, orchestra-or who just has an interest in music? 8notes.com is a treasure trove for your young musician!

They have free sheet music of all kinds. It’s sorted by instrument type, music style and artist. They also have all kinds of helpful things for music students. Here’s a list of just some of the things the site has to offer:

*guitar tuner
*instrument fingering charts
*blank sheet music
*a midi converter
*biographies of classical and popular artists
*music theory lessons
*tests and games

One of the best things about the site is their forums, where music enthusiasts can talk about their instruments, their bands, different musical genres-anything they like!

My daughter’s been in band for the last five years (through middle school and high school) and she has used this site often. Share this site with your musically inclined teen. I’m sure they’ll find it useful.

band, band instruments, music, musical sites, teens, teenagers

Where have you learned what you know about parenting? From your own parents? From books you’ve read? From friends? From parenting classes? We tend to get useful information on parenting from a variety of sources in our lives. But who would think that reality TV juggernaut “American Idol” could teach us anything about parenting?! A few weeks ago, I certainly wouldn’t have said so!

However, it occured to me over the last few weeks, as my daughter and I watched the auditions together, that there was a very important lesson in all this for parents of teenagers. As one hopeful teen after another came out to sing for the judges and was rejected, I found myself asking “Who on earth told this kid that he/she could sing?!”

The answer, at least for some of the teens, was: their parents. Parents who had accompanied their teens to auditions would be waiting outside those doors, many disbelieving that their son or daughter had not been selected to go to Hollywood. Some even tried to persuade judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Paula Abdul that they had made a mistake-that their teen was really a wonderful singer.

For some of these teens, obviously, this was a very big deal. Despite terrible auditions, they were devastated when they were not chosen to go on. They sobbed, begged and pleaded for another chance. They made excuses for why their auditions had gone so badly-they were really nervous, they had had colds, etc., etc.-one contestant even protesting that it was the bare floor which had made her sound so bad (she was just as bad on the carpet)!

I can’t help thinking that some of the parents of these teenagers have been overzealous in supporting their kids’ ambitions. Should you support your teen? Yes. Absolutely! Should you support them in aspiring to a career in a field for which they do not have what it takes to make it? No. Look at it this way. If your teenage daughter barely makes it through math classes with help from tutors, would you tell her to consider a career in accounting? No. If your son is a couch potato who is clumsy as well, would you tell him he could make it in pro basketball? Probably not.

In our entertainment-saturated culture, many teenagers aspire to be celebrities. They want to be the next Britney Spears, the next Lindsay Lohan, the next Justin Timberlake-the next American Idol. They want it so much that they forget that they must have a certain amount of talent to get there.

We all want to support and encourage our teens to be the best they can, to do the best they can. We want them to have a life that they enjoy. But what we shouldn’t do is lie to them. Don’t tell your son he’s a great basketball player if he can’t make a free throw to save his life. Don’t tell your daughter that she sings great if she can’t carry a tune. Basically, don’t give them false hopes.

You don’t have to be as harsh with your comments as Simon Cowell! Just remember to compliment and support your teens’ strengths, rather than their weaknesses. Help them develop interests at which they have real talents. Encourage them to explore new areas and find new interests. Teach them to set goals which are attainable.

Teens’ lives will contain disappointments and setbacks. Don’t help set them up for more disappointments if they have no chance of succeeding. And another thing: teach them to accept criticism and disappointment with grace and dignity. That’s an important life lesson for all of us.

American Idol, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Justin Timberlake, teens, teenagers, adolescents, parents, parenting

My 16-year-old daughter, S, had a party this past weekend. Normally, when she has people over, it’s only one or two at a time-which is how mom prefers it! However, she has redecorated her room, and she got a Wii for Christmas, and all sorts of things were going on at school. She was feeling the urge to have one of those gatherings where a lot of people come over and hang out. She has these very infrequently mind you, because I usually end up exhausted and with a headache the next morning-sort of like a hangover, but without the benefit of a drink.

Anyway, including S, there were twelve teenagers ranging in age from 15-17 at our house on Saturday night. They took over three rooms-the den (where the gaming was going on), the living room (which served as the movie viewing room), and the dining room (food and music). I’m a veteran of several of these get-togethers by now, and I know what to expect-fairly subdued muttering and comments from the movie room, loud talk and noise from the food and music room, and an absolute din from the den (gaming room), where people are yelling about the cool graphics, “wow, did you see that” or complaining at the top of their lungs that someone else is cheating.

My fiance (R) and I bear up well under all this knowing that, at least, the next day will be fairly quiet all day. We get along with S’s friends pretty well. We even get brownie points as cool parents for our geeky hobbies-R for his Lego collection and his love of video games, me for my Star Trek and Star Wars collection and for listening to groups like The Fray, Nickelback, and Hinder. There are some of her friends, though, that just bug me!

There’s E, who talks endlessly about boys and who she’d like to go out with next and what she’s going to wear. These kinds of girls are common among teens, I suppose, but really-can’t she think about anything else at all?! Or maybe it’s just that I’m getting older and have less tolerance for this kind of thing. Or, maybe, if I want to delve deeply into my psyche, it’s that I’m jealous that I can no longer wear junior size jeans and talk about who I’m going to go out with next?

Then there’s S’s friend, K, who has every video game system ever released, and a seemingly endless collection of games. Everyone in the crowd considers him the authority on all things gaming. But, really, does he have to be so overbearing about it? Interrupting other people’s games to tell them what they’ve just done wrong, telling someone who’s just been killed by a drug overlord how he could have avoided being ambushed, grabbing the phone to call tech support when he wants to prove a point and win an argument.

There’s T, who’s the sports fanatic of the group. He only wants to play sports-related video games and keeps tuning the radio or the TV to ball games over the loud objections of everyone else. By the end of the evening, he’s usually somewhere with headphones on, listening to the latest scores, and eating an entire bag of Tostitos and two jars of salsa.

Then, there’s my own personal favorite, M, who’s the reader of the group. She starts out the evening talking, eating and playing games. Then, before the evening’s half over, she has managed to find some relatively quiet corner and is absorbed in the book that she takes everywhere.

As you’ve probably figured out by now, I know my daughter’s friends pretty well. Most of them she’s had since elementary or, at least, middle school. I try to make it a point to get to know them a little. Aside from making these get-togethers go a little more smoothly, it’s comforting to know who she’s spending her time with when she’s away from me.

I won’t have that luxury a lot longer. When she goes away, I won’t always be able to meet her friends. It helps that I at least know the kinds of people that she’s drawn to as friends.

teens, teenagers, parents, parenting, friendships, Wii, The Fray, Nickelback, Hinder, school

What’re our problems as parents of teens? I won’t pretend to know all the answers to that question! But I can give you one that I just found out about this morning. Apparently, our priorities are in desperate need of an overhaul!

This morning, my 16-year-old daughter needed to get to school 45 minutes early for a club meeting. Since these things alway work out this way, she ended up sitting up late last night to finish homework. This resulted in her not gathering up her things the night before.

Of course, everything else being as it was, we overslept this morning and had to rush to get out the door. I think my daughter now holds the record for shortest shower ever taken by a human being. I had to remind her to eat something, to which she replied, “Mom, it’s not that big a deal and I don’t have time!” (She ended up with a pop tart in the car.) I had to remind her to grab her clarinet, without which she would have gotten an F for band class for the day.

When we were finally in the car and I was ready to back out she yelled, “Wait a minute! I forgot something!” From the tone of her voice, I assumed it must be, at the very least, the essay she had stayed up writing for her history class. I handed her my door key, so that she wouldn’t have to dig around for hers.

She was back in the space of two minutes with…a CD? “Is that a recording for band?” I asked, as I backed down the driveway. “No, it my new Killers CD.” Now, I’ve listened to The Killers, and I think their music is pretty good. But I was a little puzzled. “What’s it for?”

“I wanna listen to it on the way to school.”

Narrowly avoiding missing our first turn, I said. “Let me get this straight. You risk life and limb taking a fast shower this morning. We rush around the house like mad, bumping into each other and everything else to get your things gathered. You end up munching a pop tart, instead of having a real breakfast. All that to get you to school for your meeting, and you waste precious minutes going back for a CD to listen to on the way to school?!”

“I’ve only listened to it twice so far.” She said this calmly and matter-of-factly, while breaking off pieces of pop tart and putting them in her mouth, while her music was playing loudly.

Obviously, my priorities have become somewhat mixed up with advancing age. Showers and breakfast have moved lower on the totem pole when it comes to must-do things in the morning. I have to listen to this CD again myself. Apparently, it’s more than just entertaining music. There must be something vital on there.

parenting, teens, teenagers, The Killers, priorities, relationships