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Better Parenting Through Google!

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

Take Two!

Like I mentioned before, I like to wander through the referral logs for Parenting Teens Blog to see what has brought you fine people to view my meanderings about my teenagers. Some are quite normal, and then there are others that boggle the mind, as well as make me laugh out loud. So today, we’ll explore a couple of the funnier ones, and answer some apparently burning questions. Ready? Here we go - in no particular order:

Best words to get a girl
I’m pleased to say that I’m number one in this search, for talking about my daughter’s wake up calls on her cell phone. But I need more information to answer this particular query. Are you buying the girl a present? If so, the words should be poetic and lovely and knee meltingly romantic! Are you trying to get a girl to do something? Try asking nicely! “Please pass the salt?” is better than “Pass the salt, wench!” Right? The third possiblity is that the girl is what you are trying to get. See the above two answers - Ask nicely, and try poetry. You know what they say about flattery, after all!

My teen don’t do house chores!
Uh. DUH. It’s like pulling teeth - it always is. Get used to it. Same answer for “teen is lying a lot” and “moody teens”. I mean, really? It gets better. When they’re 25. I hope. By the way, I bet your teen don’t talk well so good sometimes either!

Preteens or teens get pregnant?
Uh, yes. They can. That’s what happens when you have sex, without protection, without thought, and with another person. That’s also how you get STDs. Just sayin’.

And then there’s “sleeping nude with teenagers in the house”.
Trust me. The LAST thing a teenager wants to do is catch a peek at mom and dad naked. Sleep however you want, you can be absolutely sure your teenager isn’t trying to cop a peek. Because OMG ew! On a more serious note, however, don’t underestimate what kind of positive impact you’re positive body image will have on your kids as they develop theirs. There’s nothing wrong with being naked, folks. Some are more comfortable then others, of course - if you even have to question, then throw on a robe as soon as you crawl from between the covers, ya know? There’s a lot of middle ground here, so measure you’re comfort level, and that of your teens (who are all going OMG MOM DAD EW GROSS AHHHH! at this point) and behave accordingly. It’s really not that hard, folks. Try some common sense.

And last, but not least, the one that cracks me up every time I see it: Why am I promiscuous?
Because you either can’t keep it in your pants or you forgot to keep your legs closed.

So there ya have it - the latest Google fun. However ya’ll got here - I’m glad you came, and hope you stick around!

Better Parenting through Google!

Monday, September 8th, 2008

So today, while I was rattling my brains to see what kind of drivel helpful advice I could come up with, I checked my referral logs for Parenting Teens Blog. I was curious to see what as bringing the tens of twenties of people here to my little corner of irreverent snarkiness. You know, folks out there have a lot of questions - and so, I bring you the first Better Parenting Through Google edition of PTB.

Teenager reading emotions: What, what? Your teen is reading your emotions, or you are reading theirs? I mean - what exactly is the problem? Of course, if it’s the first one, it can’t be THAT bad, right? I know when I just don’t want to be bothered by the teenage problem of the second, it’s nice when my son can take one glance and step away slowly, only to return with chocolate in hand. Treat it like an important skill that will save your son’s life when his wife is pregnant. He’ll thank you.

Preventing teens from joining gangs: Lock them in the basement. Why are you looking at me like that?!

Christian sleepovers for teens: Hahahahah. because teenagers are SO GOOD at resisting temptation, right? Especially in a church and all… right? I ever tell you about the preacher’s daughter who got pregnant at 16? Hmmm?

Interests of a typical teen: Easy. Teenage boys: Girls. Cars. Swords/sharp pointy things/things that can maim them/sports. Video games. Teenage girls: Boys. makeup. boys. phones. boys. fashion. boys. Oh, and did I mention boys?

Parenting teenage boys: Here’s what my dad always said - when a boy becomes a teenager, lock him up in a barrel and feed him through a hole in the side. When he turns 18, plug the hole. Think that’s bad, you should have heard him re: his girls dating!

Importance of Teen Socializing: Dude. this is SO important. because if they don’t socialize? that means they’re ALWAYS HOME. Who wants that?!

Why teenagers blog: another easy one - because they have mom’s as irreverent and snarky as ME!

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Better Parenting Through Google! - I’m sure I’ll run another one as soon.

About Parenting Teens

Parenting Teens is a fun and informational site dealing with the joys and challenges of parenting teenagers. As well as serious news dealing with topics such as health and education, we also write about the fun stuff. Check with us often for discussion, news and advice about parenting today's teens.

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