Parenting Teens

Since we’re talking about confessions (what? weren’t we?) I thought I’d toss another one on the pile, lest you think my family is perfect. Weird, but perfect. Because we’re totally not - perfect that is. Weird we most certainly are. ANYWAY.

When I was growing up, I was expected to get good grades, I was expected to shoulder the burden of A’s and B’s and be happy about it, dammit. For the most part, after I hit 9th grade and realized HOLY CRAP I’ve only got 4 years to make up for all the slacking off I’ve been doing the past 8 years, I put my nose to the grindstone, my pedal to the metal, and buckled down and finished with a 3.64 GPA. Yes, I know it’s not perfect. There was this little matter of a Science Fiction extra credit class that spent a whole semester on the book DUNE which I did and still do hate with a passion. 3 extra credit projects brought my final grade to a D so that I could graduate. Heh. Mom is still not happy about that, though my 3.99 GPA for my bachelor’s degree a few years back took away most of the sting. I think. Maybe.

My sister, on the other hand, didn’t take so well to school. They PAID her for all her A’s because she had to work so hard for them. Not that I didn’t work hard, but WHATEVER. She’s the baby, spoiled and everything. (that groan you just heard was my mother telling me to build a bridge and get over it. *L* Fortunately, I have been for years - but it makes for good blog fodder to pretend, right? Right!) Even so, I began to have a bit more sympathy when my kids started showing signs they were more like their dad and aunt then me when it came to buckling down and slogging through schoolwork.

All of my kids got a rough start reading, but once they were able to flip that understanding switch, there’s no way to get a book OUT of their hands. Of course, that doesn’t mean they remember to turn in their reading logs, which is why the grades are so low. Some things come easier to one kid then another - The Girl has an inate understanding for math and how it all works together, as well as how to write a paper with her eyes closed - while the boy would rather gouge his eyes out with a metal spork then tackle a language arts project, and sure he’s GOOD at Math, but doesn’t see the use in it at all. Foods class, however, he excels at. Go figure. The pup is champion for reading all the time, but forgetting her reading logs, while she struggles a bit with math and getting her mind to work fast enough for the math facts computer program she’s fallen behind on.

In short, they’re all typical kids, who struggle at times, and excel at others. This year the boy wanted to take matters into his own hands, take responsibility, so I’m not riding him as hard as I used too, only asking on occasion. Of course, if he fails his Junior Year, there will be hell to pay, but he understands that. The Girl has been doing extracurricular activities so has to keep her grades up, so she’s doing well. The pup is struggling a bit, but trying hard, which is really all I ask of her. We’re a normal family, with normal frustrations.

Some kids aren’t so lucky, and have even added pressures to face. Did you know that 4 out of every 10 teenagers will drop out of high school? That’s a very large number, and you know that even more have considered doing the exact same thing. My own son has - he simply doesn’t see the point. It’s a hard lesson to learn, that sometimes, we don’t ever see the point of something necessary in order to open doors in the future. He keeps slogging through though, as he knows that I care, AND I expect it. Despite what he says, he DOES care.

There are others that care, too. In fact, thanks to the lovely Lisa contacted me about her client The Ad Council, to let me know of their new campaign: BoostUp. BoostUp aims to encourage students to stick with school, to think about before dropping out. They have 11 kids in the campaign, and you can give them - or a kid you know - encouragement in several different ways. You know, give them a “Boost”! Even better, you can send them wake-up ringtones. (Ha! I don’t think my kids’ favorite ringtone would be very uplifting, for all the WAKEUP-ness it elicits. Hee.)

Right now, the BoostUp campaign is trying to get as many “Boosts” as possible to their kids, and others by adults who have been there, done that - as well as from encouraging friends and family. BoostUp.org includes the means to give the Boosts, the ringtones - and also a lot of information for parents and teenagers who are looking for information, signs to look for in your teens who may be considering dropping out, and things that you can do to help. The site is fun, colorful, and interactive of course. In fact, I’m on the way there right now to leave a Boost for all of their kids. Won’t you do the same?

This past week I received a couple of emails that let me know about a couple opportunities for our Teens. It’s important to help them get involved in the community, to be aware of those around them in a way they haven’t been before. Sure, we can’t FORCE them to do anything, but we can at least nudge them in the right direction from time to time. Here’s a couple of sites to check out:

Holly contacted me about The League, which encourages parents and teens to spend time together by giving back. According to Holly, The LEAGUE is a school and web-based system that provides the tools and resources to teach students about giving, service and civic engagement. Right now, The League is gearing up for their One Day serve-a-thon to kick off this year’s events.

Holly explains: “The LEAGUE’s ONE DAY Event is a “servathon” where students identify, organize and plan a service project that meets a need in their community, and sign up friends and family to sponsor them (if they choose) in advance. Students can create their very own service project such as visiting seniors, tutoring peers, or cleaning up neighborhoods.” The One Day event runs September 17th thru October 8th.

Check out their website, The League Worldwide, for more information.

Next up, Matt sent me a cute little note, assuring me that I won’t be as nervous about this driving thing in as little as 3 or 4 years. Thanks for the encouragement, there, Matt! He also wanted to let us know about the new public awareness campaign about teenage steroid use from the AD Council. This campaign is called “Don’t be an Asterisk” - as those known to have used steroids on competition lists are marked with - you guess it - an asterisk.

Matt explained: “Whether it is a potential college scholarship or just helping the team win, some feel pressure to do whatever it takes to get an “edge”, even if it means taking steroids or other illegal substances.

The PSA is below, and I encourage you to check out the website, Don’t be an Asterisk, for more information.

Thanks Holly and Matt for letting me know about your projects and causes! I’m glad to help get the word out. If anyone else has a program they want me to check out, please use the contact me button over there under the ‘about site’ link on the right. Thanks!

This morning, I got the call. Part of me knew it was coming, but I thought I’d have another year or so before I was faced with the decision, the question, the promises and pleadings. But no. Apparently, being a freshman gave her extra stand-up-to-mama powers - on Day Two.

Around here, your schedule in Jr. high is set in stone. If you’re lucky, you can switch from one teacher to another, if there’s room/reason/need and you have to jump through major hoops to do so. Part of the High School experience is learning to take charge of your own education, making sure you have the classes needed in line to graduate, as well as trying to get as many classes together with your friends as possible. It’s a fine line to walk, and I remember in my two years at the same school my kids attend now, feeling a little lost and doing whatever my councilors told me was needed. I can only remember one single class I switched out of in those two years - and it was my Senior year, because I decided I didn’t want weight training after all. I was a senior - I didn’t WANT a gym class!

Thus, I was a little surprised this morning to get a call from The Girl just minutes after her Papa had dropped her off at the front door. “Mom, would you be upset if I decided to drop band?”

I shouldn’t have been surprised, really. In hindsight, the lack of practice this summer, and the fact she tried to hide from Ms. S. at orientation were a sure fire tip-off. But surprised I was, as a million things went through my head.

My daughter decided she wanted to play clarinet in the 5th grade band. We rented an instrument that year, to make sure she wanted to stick with it. The next year, for her birthday, her Daddy wheeled and dealed with a friend he worked with to get her a clarinet of her very own. He was so proud that he was able to trade one of his rifles for something for his daughter, something she really wanted. She named the clarinet Clarabelle, and was as thrilled to receive it as he was to give it.

It was the last gift he ever gave her - he passed away three weeks later.

And so, as she told me this morning that she wanted to drop out of band, there was a deeper emotional tug as well. I knew it affected her too when she said “I swear mama. I’ll still play Clarabelle at home… I just can’t handle Ms. S this year… is it ok?”

I had to think quickly, though the little waver in her voice nearly did me in. I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to change out of a class if I felt unable to handle a teacher. I was the type to just hide in the back row, grit my teeth and stumble through as best I could. I certainly wouldn’t have had the balls to call my mom and ask - though I know she would have been understanding and supportive… and probably made me stick with the class. (That may be my memory playing tricks on me - viewing life through aged teenaged glasses…) So what do I tell her? My little girl turning into a woman trying to stand on her own?

I questioned her quickly - is she doing this because her BFF is doing it? Are her reasons sound? Has she thought about it from Ms. S’s point of view? Is she taking the easy way out? Is this a decision for HERSELF and not anyone else? It was a lot to think about at 7:30 in the morning, for sure, on both our parts. In the end, however, I gave her permission to drop the class.

I’m not ashamed to say my heart broke a little bit when I did so, both for what she was giving up because of the emotional ties behind it, as well as for the fact that she was growing up so fast, and ready to make her first decision on that grown up track. Then the other reasonable though still sleepy part of the brain reminded me of something else - a benefit if you will.

In fact, the clouds parted, and I swear I saw rainbows backed by angels singing a hallelujah chorus as I realized what this really meant to me…

NO MORE BAND CONCERTS.

Maybe I should get that girl a pony….

Of course - you KNOW what happened while I was writing this, right? I received a text message from the Girl, saying she’s decided to give Ms. S. at least a year. She’s heard that she’s cooler in high school, after all. But if they don’t like it this year - they’re out next year.

Damn. There goes her pony!

No, no, no. It’s not “I love you.” Heck, it’s not even “You’re not fat!” No, these words are the best words in the world to every mother out there (and if you say they’re not, you’re either crazy, or lying. Or both.) What are those words? Easy. “Back To School!”

Ah yes, that is a sigh of relief and contentment you just heard! Today is that glorious day for me, the one where it doesn’t bother me AT ALL to get up at 6am, because I know that I’ll be headed back to bed in just a couple of house. This morning, I gleefully texted the Boy to wake him up at 6:30 - repeating every 5 minutes until he lumbered into the living room, grabbed his hat and glared at me from under the brim … just moments before he made sure that I appreciated his newly found fashion sense, of course. Then it was back to glaring.

Meanwhile, I giggled helplessly as the ringtone my daughter asked me to record for her alarm came blaring at top volume from behind her closed door. The ringtone? My yelling what I normally have to yell when she has been ignoring me for 45 minutes and she’s late: GET THE EFF UP, NOW! My vocal cords are completely safe this year thanks to that lovely little recording device. What really set off the giggling though was the sounds of her floundering to find her phone on the dresser and turn it off. I can get used to these kind of wake ups!

The girl didn’t seem nervous at all this morning as they headed down to have breakfast with Papa before school. (I know. I don’t even feed my kids breakfast on school days - haven’t for the past 10 years, starting the 11th. Long story - we’ll just say that I’m the luckiest mom alive, and yes, you can be jealous! It’s normal.) After their orientation night, she seems to have found her footing, and is ready to branch out on her own with only 5 or 10 of her closest friends at her side.

The boy wasn’t nervous either. Just glaring. But he totally owes me when he comes home - and I expect him to arrive here with a Diet Coke in hand. You see, I already received a call from his councilor. My boy doesn’t like math. He does really well in it, but when given the choice between Geometry and Personal Finance, he wanted the later, hands down. They didn’t give it to him, so he went to see about it being changed and thus the call. Was I ok with this change? The Personal Finance classes were pretty full already….

So I went to bat for him. I explained that I know he doesn’t have college in his sights, he’s a different plan, and I think that Personal Finance lessons would be VERY beneficial for him in the long run. I asked that she try to fit him in if she could, because he’ll never use Geometry again, while the PF class will come in handy when I kick his little butt out of my house 2.3 minutes after graduation. She said ok, then hung up.

(I think I scared her a little bit. That makes me happy.)

I still found myself writing down the information for the Middle School, automatically, even though both my older children are in High School. I think that I’m in denial - I’m not old enough for this kind of stuff to happen. I just graduated last month, for heavens sake (where last month = 20 years ago) so I couldn’t POSSIBLY be old enough to have not one, but TWO high-schoolers in my house!

I know I’ll just have to get used to it - can’t stop time, and all that. Just don’t remind me that my son being a junior means he’ll be graduating next year. I’m not ready to admit THAT much yet….

Do you know anything about the dropout rate in your local school system? Do you have a daughter who may be in danger of dropping out of high school?

The National Women’s Law Center has a new report titled When Girls Don’t Graduate, We All Fail: A Call To Improve High School Graduation Rates for Girls

The statistics truly are alarming. The report states that 1,000 high school students drop out of school each hour in America. This means that 30% of the class of 2007, or 1.2 million students are estimated to have dropped out of school last year.

Also according to the report, one in three boys, and nearly 50% of some racial and ethnic groups will not graduate with a diploma in four years of high school. Among girls, one in four overall will not graduate from high school. One in two Native American girls will not graduate; four in ten African-American girls, and nearly four in ten Hispanic girls do not graduate each year.

The study gives the following recommendations for dealing with dropout prevention:

* Combating sexual harassment in schools. Both boys and girls report that they drop out in part because they do not feel safe at school. Download a fact sheet on sexual harassment for schools or for students.
* Providing better support for pregnant and parenting students. Pregnancy and parenting responsibilities play a significant role in many girls’ decisions to drop out of school.
* Ensuring equal access for girls to career and technical education classes. These classes provide training for high-skill, high-wage jobs. Offering career education programs that emphasize the link between academic work, college success, and careers has been proven to reduce dropout rates.
* Ensuring equal access for girls to after-school programs, including athletics programs. Studies have shown that participation in after-school programs improves graduation rates and academic achievement.

Do you know anything about the dropout rate in your local schools? Even if you don’t have teens at risk of dropping out, you should be concerned. We’re raising the generation who will, one day, be in charge of things and, hopefully, taking care of us!

Volunteer to help in efforts to curb dropout rates. Our teens and the rest of society will be better for it.

For more on parenting, see Parenting The Adopted.

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Are your teen’s teachers male or female? Does that question ever come up for you? Do you consider whether your student is getting good role models from both sexes?

Nationally, the number of male teachers in classrooms is declining, especially in elementary schools. According to Scholastic,
in 1980 about 17 percent of teachers in elementary school classrooms were male, compared with 14.2 percent today. In secondary schools, the number of men in classrooms has dropped from just over 50 percent in 1980 to less than 40 percent today.

The National Education Association (NEA) puts the percentage of male teachers nationwide at a 40 year low. And, according to NEA president Reg Weaver, the scarcity of male teachers is unfortunate, given the high divorce rate and men increasingly absent from the home. He says that male teachers are increasingly needed as role models for children.

“…one of the reasons colleges of education find it difficult to attract men into the profession (is) because of the outdated notion that teaching is a woman’s profession,” Weaver said. “And that could not be further from the truth.” The perception of teaching as a woman’s profession is still there, as is the reality of low pay and men needing to be breadwinners. However, more reasons than those are also part of the decline.

According to Steve Peha, president of Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc., other factors are more important. Many male teachers go into administrative positions to be more upwardly mobile. Others may not like being one of the few male teachers in a school, where they experience loneliness. And many feel threatened in a society where parents are likely to bring sexual misconduct charges at the drop of a hat. “I’ve had plenty of principals admit to me in private that they just don’t want to deal with men in the primary grades at all,�? Peha says. “It’s not prejudice, it’s politics. They know that women in those positions will be more readily accepted by parents.�?

It’s our children who lose because of these attitudes, most especially, perhaps, the boys. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2006, 12.9 million households were headed by single parents, with 10.4 million of those headed by single mothers. Boys need role models in a society where men may increasingly be absent from the household on a full-time basis.

As a single mother who raised a daughter alone for several years, I can also attest to the fact that girls need good male role models. My daughter had the best in my father and my brother, but I also appreciated the male teachers that she did have in her elementary school years, and I continue to be grateful to the positive male role models in her high school.

This is an issue to think about, as well as to encourage young men who have an interest in teaching to pursue that interest. Male teachers are in high demand, and there is a very real service that they provide-not just by being teachers, but by being role models for those who need them.

For information on homeschooling, visit Mom Is Teaching

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I’m really on my soapbox this morning, so I just have to blog about it! I found this article online at the Athens Banner-Herald, a local paper here in Georgia. Apparently, parents of kids at Malcolm Bridge Elementary School in Oglethorpe County, Georgia, are up in arms over their children seeing a video with a scene depicting childbirth.

The show is a 1997 episode of “Reading Rainbow” called “On The Day You Were Born.” According to the article, teachers have been showing this video every year since it was aired in 1997. It is part of the school’s approved curriculum. The video is part of a section of lessons on family changes, and depicts a real family of five dealing with the expected birth of a new child.

I haven’t seen the video, but the article describes the controversial(!) scene as real, and not a dramatization. The mother is shown from the side dressed in a hospital gown, and no private parts are revealed. Following the birth, the doctor holds up the newborn for the camera.

Some parents were outraged that their children had been shown this video. One mother called it “disgusting” and thought that parents should have been notified that it would be shown. The teachers who showed the video wrote a letter home to the parents, apologizing for any issues it had caused.

What is wrong with these people?! Since when is childbirth disgusting? I’m the proud mom of a 17-year-old. I remember her birth as though it were yesterday. There was nothing disgusting about it. I’ll grant you, there were moments in there when I wasn’t exactly having fun, but I certainly didn’t find it repulsive. And just look what I have to show for it!

I’m genuinely amazed by the attitudes of some people. What kind of examples are we setting for our children by making so much fuss over something which is a normal, natural part of life? I wonder what that mom will say if her child asks if she found his/her birth “disgusting?”

I realize this has nothing in particular to do with teenagers, but I’ve seen parents of teens with the same strait-laced attitudes. Let’s lighten up here, people!

For more on younger children, go to
Parenting Children

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College costs in danger of interfering with your teenager’s education? There’s lots of information out there about applying for federal financial aid, but there are plenty of other ways to get money and to save money on college costs. Here’s a few of them.

1. Out-of-state or in-state? In-state reciprocity is a deal whereby states agree to let their residents attend college at participating schools in other states at reduced rates. If your prospective student is interested in college in a nearby state, check with the school to see if this is a possibility, and if your student might qualify. You can also check with your state education department. Check at ed.gov/about/contacts/state to get help.

2. A financial aid decision can be appealed. Has your teen been denied for federal financial aid, or given too little? If financial pressures such as medical disability, a job status change, etc., have come up since aid was first applied for, some schools will review their decision on how much aid a student was given. If you do appeal, be prepared. Make an appointment with a financial aid officer, and get copies of financial statements, medical records, expense records, or anything else the financial aid office asks for, promptly.

3. Community service pays. Volunteer organizations connected with AmeriCorps will help pay for college if a student volunteers with them. Recent high school and college grads can work as a teacher, home builder, or community organizer. Americorps will give a student up to $4, 725 per year toward tuition, in return for a year of service. See their website for more information.

4. Private schools aren’t necessarily more expensive. Many private schools hand out more financial aid than their public counterparts. You might actually end up spending less on a private school.

5. Try CLEPping some classes. High scores on the College-Level Examination Program (CLEP) exams can allow you to get credit for classes on some basic required courses. Check with the college admissions office to see if you might qualify. Some colleges also give credit for advanced placement classes taken in high school.

6. Save hundreds with used textbooks. The cost of new textbooks is at an all-time high. Books for a single semester of college work can now cost in the hundreds. If the book your teen needs isn’t a new edition of an earlier textbook, buying used is the way to go. Some even find that information highlighted by students who previously used the book can come in handy, especially if they were good students!

There are all kinds of ways to get and save money for college. Sit down and brainstorm with your teenager on how they can save and you can help!

Check out the information on other parenting sites:

Mom Is Teaching
Parenting and Religion

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Currently at issue in the state of Georgia, and in the county school system in our home county, is whether to require that all high school students earn the same diploma. Currently, our high schools have a “tiered” diploma system. Students who aren’t planning to attend a four-year college can graduate from high school with fewer math and science courses than their college-bound peers, and without taking a foreign language.

Our local paper wrote an excellent editorial supporting one diploma, rather than the tiered system, in which students can earn either a vocational-technical diploma, or a college-prep diploma. Students can also earn a dual seal(both diplomas) by taking the right course work. There are other voices on both sides of the argument.

Those include the voices of local educators (teachers and principals), and of parents and local citizens. Supporters of the dual diplomas believe that the option of earning a vocational-technical diploma, with less-rigorous educational requirements, prevents dropping out of school for many students who might otherwise do so. Supporters of the one diploma system believe that it is discriminatory toward some of the students and, also, that it would make streamline the high school system.

Personally, I fall on the side of supporting one diploma. Simply put, one diploma assures that all students graduate from high school with an equal education, and with equal educational opportunities in life, after high school.

We should educate with the idea in mind that all students are going out into the same world. The fact that they choose to pursue careers with different educational requirements is not an issue for educators at the high school level. Most high schools, whether public or private, do not educate students for a career. That is for college-level education, regardless of whether that is a four-year college or a vocational-technical school.

All students should go into the world beyond high school with the best possible education that can be provided for them. In today’s high-tech world, math and science are more necessary than ever, regardless of the type of career one chooses. And since we live in an increasingly more global society, foreign languages are also necessary, not just on a career level, but in our personal lives.

Do the high schools in your area provide different diploma options for students? I’d love to hear from any of you viewing this blog about the diploma system in your area, and your thoughts on whether a one-diploma system is the best system.

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I used the picture above only because I couldn’t find anything dealing with the expenses of juniors, or with high school expenses in general-but whew! Do you sometimes feel your middle or high school age teen is bankrupting you? My daughter’s a junior this year, and we’ve never put out so much money in our lives!

First, as she’s a member of the marching band, we had to lay out $150.00 in band fees, as well as buying shoes, gloves, etc. Then, there’s the expense involved with the upkeep of her clarinet (we won’t go into what we paid for it three years ago), and what seems to be the almost constant buying of reeds for it. Then, as the marching band appears at all the football games, there’s the expense of buying two tickets for each home game for myself and her dad (we rarely go to away games, mainly to save money!). Then there’s the annual band trip, which will be to Disney World next spring, and which involves the outlay of several hundred dollars more. And none of this includes upkeep or anything else involving her bass guitar, which she plays in our church band and in jazz band at school, once the marching season’s over.

But enough about instruments. There’s still plenty of other expenses. She’s also on the academic team and the math team. Upcoming overnight trips for these two teams to compete will involve at least spending money, and some of the money for the travel expenses as well, since these teams don’t receive enough money from the school system to pay expenses. The jury’s still out on how much we will put into these two activities by the end of the school year.

On top of everything else, her academic team adviser is putting together a student trip to Germany, which will take place at the end of the school year, but we have to start making monthly payments of about $250.00 a month on it now. No, this trip isn’t absolutely necessary, but we’re determined to send her. She’s had several invitations to go on overseas trips since starting high school, but we haven’t been able to afford them and we’re determined to send her on this one.

Oh, yeah, then there’s the upcoming homecoming dance for which she’ll need a dress, shoes, and her hair and nails done! Then, in the spring will be her prom-involving another outlay of precious cash for finery. And, lest I forget, she came home yesterday with the news that she needs to buy her class ring this year-in order to get her cap and gown for next year’s graduation free.

And her birthday’s almost here, which involves a party, not to mention gifts! It’s a good thing she’ll be getting that cap and gown free next year! Her prom date for next year can plan to pick her up at the poorhouse! It’s where we’ll be living by the time her junior year is over!

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Opening this fall in Atlanta, Georgia, is a unique new middle school-The Ron Clark Academy. Undoubtedly, many of you know of Ron Clark from the Emmy-nominated TV movie, in which Matthew Perry played Clark. Ron Clark became known for his wacky personality and unique brand of teaching. His ability to take students others had given up on and turn them into motivated and accomplished students is excellent. Now, Clark is putting his personality and teaching abilities into a middle school which will be like no other.

Using proceeds from his New York Times best-selling book The Essential 55: An Award-Winning Educator’s Rules for Discovering the Successful Student in Every Child, along with corporate sponsorship and donations, Ron Clark and Atlanta teacher Kim Bearden founded the Ron Clark Academy, a private middle school serving 5th-8th graders in a low-income neighborhood in Atlanta. Tuition is based on ability to pay, and ranges from $30 a month to $14,000 a year.

The curriculum is based on the academic requirements according to the state of Georgia’s course of study, but will use many interesting and dynamic methods to teach this curriculum, and will also offer students the opportunity to learn and be involved in photography, dance, music production, the art of design, dramatic performance, and business leadership. The students will travel to six continents before they reach high school.

The school has a two-story, indoor slide in the atrium. It’s features include, mounted flat-screen TV’s, graffiti art on the walls, and a secret passageway leading to Clark’s classroom. But one of the best features about this academy will be that it will offer other teachers worldwide the opportunity to learn the unique teaching techniques which Ron Clark and the other teachers will use in the classroom. Successful techniques, which have been proven to work with even some of the most difficult students.

Learn more about this unique school by visiting the above website. Perhaps, one day, all of our ‘tweens and teens will be lucky enough to attend schools which offer so many opportunities, and so much learning!

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As a parent, do you do everything possible to assist in your teen’s education? Do you participate in school activities and parent organizations? Do you attend parent/teacher conferences and accept suggestions about what you can do to help in seeing that your teen gets the best education possible?

Teachers (and many parents) have long been concerned that parents are not involved enough when it comes to their children’s education-particularly in high school. The National PTA has a list of ten things that teachers most wish parents would do to become involved.

* Be involved. Parent involvement helps students learn, improves schools, and helps teachers work with you to help your children succeed.

* Provide resources at home for learning. Utilize your local library, and have books and magazines available in your home. Read with your children each day.

* Set a good example. Show your children by your own actions that you believe reading is both enjoyable and useful. Monitor television viewing and the use of videos and game systems.

* Encourage students to do their best in school. Show your children that you believe education is important and that you want them to do their best.

* Value education and seek a balance between schoolwork and outside activities. Emphasize your children’s progress in developing the knowledge and skills they need to be successful both in school and in life.

* Recognize factors that take a toll on students’ classroom performance:
1. Consider the possible negative effects of long hours at after-school jobs or in extracurricular activities. Work with your children to help them maintain a balance between school responsibilities and outside commitments.
2. View drinking and excessive partying as serious matters. While most parents are concerned about drug abuse, many fail to recognize that alcohol, over-the-counter drugs, and common substances used as inhalants are more frequently abused than illegal drugs.

* Support school rules and goals. Take care not to undermine school rules, discipline, or goals.

* Use pressure positively. Encourage children to do their best, but don’t pressure them by setting goals too high or by scheduling too many activities.

* Call teachers early if you think there’s a problem while there is still time to solve it. Don’t wait for teachers to call you.

* Accept your responsibility as parents. Don’t expect the school and teachers to take over your obligations as parents. Teach children self-discipline and respect for others at home — don’t rely on teachers and schools to teach these basic behaviors and attitudes.

Do you do these things, or at least some of them? Do you feel you’re involved enough in your teen’s schooling and eduction? Read over these suggestions carefully and start doing at least one that you’re not doing now. Your child will benefit, and so will you!

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Today, I’m running a guest post by none other than my 16-year-old daughter, who has written about easing the college application process! She’s going through some of the stages of this herself, and after slogging through lots of information, she thought she could point out some useful tips. Some of her information came from College Net, which can be a very useful site when putting in those college applications! Both my daughter and I, hope you find something useful here for yourself and your teen!

Between keeping your grades up and worrying about college applications, senior year can be hectic. Throw financial aid and scholarship applications in the mix, and things can get downright scary! However, with a little planning and research, getting ready for college can be much easier.

When a block of unused time finally rolls around, use it to research some of the colleges and universities in which you have had some interest. Look up information on campus life, and use resources like the Princeton Review to see what current students have to say about their professors, the food, and the curriculum. When you find a school that seems like a good fit, look at their admissions factors. For instance, at Georgia Tech, the average high school GPA is currently 3.71 (on a 4.0 scale), and the middle 50th percentile of combined SAT scores (Critical Reading and Math) ranges from 1260 to 1390.

Once you have decided on a small handful of schools to which you would like to apply, request applications from those schools. Alternatively, fill out the Common Application, which can be used at hundreds of colleges across the country. Take note of any other requirements on your application, such as essays, letters of recommendation, and a copy of your high school transcript. Take special note of the application deadline, and put that date everywhere you need to in order to send your application on time.

Once you have your name, birth date, and other basic information on the application, it gets a little harder. The application essay can often seem like the most difficult part of applying to college. Instead of grabbing a cup of coffee and planning an all night session to get the perfect essay, relax. Before you concentrate on the actual question, brainstorm topics, such as positive qualities you would like to point out to the admissions committee. Once you decide on your topic, start writing a rough draft of the message you would like to convey in your essay. Finally, look at the question on the application. Add or take away information to make your rough draft fit the question.

Even though many of us have heard this information constantly for some time now, fully understanding it can be very useful to students who will soon be entering college. A knowledge of how to handle applying to college can allow you to keep your current grades up, since many colleges still look at transcripts even from senior year, and have an advantage over other students in the application pool. Submitting all required materials can expedite the process so that you can relax, get your application in before the deadline, and possibly receive your decision letter early.

Armed with this information, and a blue or black pen, getting through all those college applications should be easy. Remember to give yourself some time to complete the applications, so that you won’t be stressing to get six applications finished in one weekend. Relax, and try not to let college get in the way of what little bit of high school is left. Don’t forget to dot the I’s and cross the T’s, and applying to college shouldn’t be any harder than that research paper for biology.

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High school is so much more complicated now than when I was a teenager! My 16-year-old daughter begins her junior year this Monday, August 13. Of course, things really got started about three weeks ago, when she received her schedule for the upcoming year. Almost none of the classes were classes that she had requested.

This past spring, she had spent a couple of weeks working out her schedule for the coming year. She had talked with her teachers, her counselor, counselors at a couple of the colleges she’s interested in attending-she had really covered all the bases! I was proud of all the work she had put into it. Then, the official schedule arrived in the mail. It was all wrong!

Both she and I spent another couple of weeks talking with teachers and her counselor again. Turns out, her schedule had been mixed up with that of another girl, who has the same first name, and whose last name has the same three first letters. Getting it straightened out was a nightmare! But we finally had it.

Then, for the past two weeks, she had band camp for marching band. The school has a new band director. There was a new camp schedule, new music to be learned, new rules to learn and follow, etc. Then, the weather threw its two-cents-worth into the mix, gifting us with record high temperatures. The band was unable to practice on the football field, where they needed to be, which necessitated more schedule changes-resulting in drop-off and pick-up times which threw our carefully worked out schedule into more disarray.

Finally, we had made it through these last three weeks, exhausted and with our minds reeling from all the changes. Last night was open house, when we were able to meet her teachers. First, there was a general assembly with the principal introducing himself and new teachers. Then, there was an amusing little play by the school theater group, detailing the major policies of the school-dress code, no food and drink in the classrooms, no cell phones, no MP3 players, etc.

After assembly,we fought our way through the mob to get a copy of her final schedule, and then to go meet her teachers. The schedule was still wrong! So, we were off to the counselor’s office, where she made a couple of final (hopefully!) changes to my daughter’s schedule. We then met her teachers, who all seem to be nice and helpful, thank goodness!

This semester, my daughter’s taking Advanced Band, Advanced Physics, Advanced American Literature, and Trigonometry. After the past three weeks, that schedule should be a breeze!

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The House debates today on funding for abstinence education programs, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. Abstinence programs across the country, such as Virginity Rules received their first cut in financing since 2001, this past June. So far, $176 million in funding has survived, up to the debates today. Will that funding be cut further?

There are some 700 abstinence education programs across the country. Eleven state health departments rejected abstinence education this year, while three states passed laws that could affect abstinence education in schools. This past spring, a comprehensive study of abstinence education programs found no sign that it delays sexual activity among teens. According to this article, however, teens are abstaining from sex more, and using contraceptives when they do not abstain.

Through a combination of less sex and more contraception, pregnancy and birth rates among American teenagers as a whole have been falling since about 1991. Texas, however, has seen the smallest decline despite receiving almost $17 million to promote abstinence.

I, personally, have no problem with abstinence being taught. However, I do believe that it should be taught alongside use of contraceptives, and other alternatives. How do you readers feel? Do you think abstinence education works, and should it be funded by the federal government?

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