Parenting Teens

So, remember back when I told you of the PTA live induction of their new leaders that would be held online? I didn’t make it myself, but the ever lovely Julie dropped us a note to thank those that did! And, if you - like me - didn’t make it to the live event, you can view it for the next three months by clicking here. Enjoy - and thanks Julie for letting us know!

In other news, Candice, who is lovely as well, dropped me a note on behalf of PATS (Parents Attitude Tracking Study) and the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. They recently conducted a survey to see how Dads are doing in helping their kids in the fight against Drug and Alcohol use. The data collected, reveals that dads tend to take a much more passive role than mom’s when it comes to those kinds of talks, which could mean their missing a valuable opportunity to hep teach their kids.

It seems that Father’s were 3x more likely to believe the teaching about drug and alcohol use and abuse should happen in school, and report having a greater difficulty reconciling the desire to have their child see them as a friend, rather than setting the rules - though the majority of parents believe a friendship with their kids is important too.

If you’re having problems talking to you kids about drugs/alcohol, then check out drugfree.org, and read through their helpful hints to get the conversation flowing. As with everyone else around here - my stand is exactly the same: TALK TO YOUR KIDS. You might find them a lot smarter than you think.

In that same line of TALKING TO YOU KIDS, Nana recently send me a copy of the newsletter she receives at work. My mom works with the local womens shelter, and also facilitates a batterers education group for those who have such classes mandated by the courts. Yeah, I know, she’s pretty freakin awesome, ain’t she? Anyway, the subject of this newsletter is respect.

When I’m out and about, something that drives me NUTS, is when a child is disrespectful, and the parent stands there and says “I don’t know WHERE s/he gets it!” and less then 2 seconds later, said parent is extremely disrespectful themselves. Respect is a LEARNED BEHAVIOR folks, and if they don’t see it at home, they sure as hell won’t practice it out in the world.

This leads into discussions about dating and violence. Parents say their kids aren’t getting the message, and I say it’s time for the parents to TALK MORE and get it out there. If you’re having problems getting those conversations started, giverespect.org has several tips for you, so that you can get your kids to realize what exactly a healthy relationship is. Be sure and check it out!

And hey - have a conversation with your Teen today, will ya? You’ve got no excuses now!

PS: Interested in things affecting your Teen’s health and well-being? Check out Ann Engelland’s blog and get some information straight from the doctor’s mouth, so to speak. hee.

I have to admit, I’m not a joiner. While I have what seems sometimes to be infinite patience with my kids (…that sound? Them laughing…) I admit that I tend to think most other people suck. Not very generous of me, sure, but when they’re always wrong while declaring how perfect they are… I get frustrated. And a little snarky. And a little bitchy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll wait while all of you stop laughing now. I’m never a “little” anything!

Anyway - this rule of not being a “joiner” has followed my kids through school. I don’t volunteer to chaparone on field trips because other people’s kids are not my kids and you have to be too careful not to offend the parents of those kids when I get frustrated and dump their “perfect lil Johnny” over the side of the boat into the perfect Glacier Bay. I don’t volunteer in the classrooms, because my kids always behave better when I’m not there, rather than when I am - and same rules of frustration apply to “perfect lil Susie” in the classroom. When it comes to PTA - I’ve never joined that either, because tha’ts where Perfect Lil Johnny and Susie’s Mom hangs out. It’s not to say I’m not involved, it’s just on a far less ‘in the open in your face’ manner.

Sometimes Parenting is all about knowing your limits.

All of that above, though, is not meant to suggest I don’t appreciate the PTA - both local and National - and what they do for our kids in school, and it certainly doesn’t mean I don’t applaud their efforts, and their progress over they’re 113 year history. Especially now… for the first time in it’s history, the PTA will install a father as it’s national president!

The lovely Julie emailed me recently to let us know we can be there during an exclusive Live Webcast Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - 2:00 PM Eastern, to see it all go down, and be the first to meet the new National PTA President, Chuck Saylors. You can register for the webcast here, and watch as Byron Garrett, the PTA’s first-ever male CEO, offers the parents that can’t attend the convention the ability to ask questions via email and have them answered live. Saylors and Garrett will focus many of their upcoming efforts on getting parents and teachers involved via Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media platforms. They’ll also cover other important topics such as:

1. Strategic planning and priorities for the National PTA for the next two years
2. How National PTA is working with the Obama Administration and reauthorization of NCLB
3. Positive impact of male involvement and ways in which men can get involved
4. Summer tips to stay ready for back to school season
5. And so much more!

So what are you waiting for? Go sign up!

Thanks Julie for the heads up!

Recently, the lovely Deb invited me to check out @15, including watching the 1 hour panel discussion to unveil a new research report all about our 15 year olds in the US. It was hosted at http://at15.org, on June 8th. While I missed the original webcast, I have recently gone back to watch it, and encourage all of you parents to do so as well.

The website itself is pretty damn cool! It’s geared at the teenagers, determined to give Teens a voice, and helps them get involved in issues that affect them directly, and listening to their ideas about everything from the environment to education. Teens can join the site, and earn points, as well as vote on the ways that Best Buy will help support teens in a variety of ways, including voting to decide exactly how Best Buy would divide up and donate to a variety of organizations.

@15 and Best Buy partnered with Search Institute and created the Teen Voice 1009: The untapped Strengths of 15-year-olds and you can download the report right here as a PDF. And if your teen wants to get more involved, @15 will soon be accepting applications to become an @15 Teen Spokesperson too.

Best Buy, and @15.com is determined to look at Teenagers through a positive lens, instead of of negative. I highly encourage you to go and watch the webcast, and check out the site on your own, as well as get your teen involved, too! Isn’t it about time we hear some GOOD news about our Teens instead of bad? Yeah, I thought so too. Help your Teen find their Voice, today!

And we continue our theme today, by classifying it “Safety day” and adding the lovely Julie to the mix! She dropped me a line a while back to let me know of a new website that’s an interactive guide aimed at internet safety of our tweens n teens. With the internet so readily available, we often forget to talk to our kids about how to be safe online, and protect from some potentially negative effects.

The Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows have started the initiative LMK (Let Me Know in text speak) which provides parents and girls with resources catering to both generations, aiming to bridge the digital gap between parents and teenagers. There’s two sections to the website, one aimed at the girls (lmk.girlscouts.org) and one for the parents (letmeknow.girlscouts.org).

On the girls side, teens find interactive quizzes, videos and expert articles that will help educate them about being safe online in a fun way. Girls can comment, share their thoughts and experiences on more than just the safety issues - commenting on many things that teens face and deal with everyday, from “Sexting” to “cyber-bullying” and everything in between. There is new content periodically and it’s for all teenagers - not just Girl Scouts!

On the parents side, they can sign up for an email newsletter written by a team of LMK Teen Editors, who share their knowledge about how teens are using technology and help the parents understand it all. Parents have the chance to learn need-to-know skills which will help them keep up to speed with what their kids are doing online. There’s also expert advise on many issues offered as well.

As with everything, I encourage you to educate yourself and talk to your kids! So what are you waiting for? Check out the LMK sites today and LMK how it goes!

Continuing on the apparently theme today - the lovely Monica also contacted me a while back, and I found it buried in my inbox when I went on a cleaning spree today (Sorry Monica!). She wrote to share with me a new Q&A on the dangers of prescription drug abuse in teenagers from Karen Reed, who’s a spokesperson for the American Pharmacists Association. While the over the counter drugs are easily accessible too, it’s almost easier to hit the prescriptions in the medicine cabinet too, as most parents simply don’t think their kids would actually take them. Worse yet - kids tend to think that since these are given by the doctors, it’s a safe way to get high.

Scary, hm? As always - the number one way to make sure your teens are informed is to TALK TO THEM. The AntiDrug website can help you start those conversations.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration - every single day sees 2000 kids between the ages of 12 and 17 abusing a painkiller for the first time. Among 12 and 13 year olds, prescription drugs are the drug of choice. On the AntiDrug.com, they are currently highlighting prescription drugs, including an interactive house tour which highlights the locations where teens find OTC and prescription drugs, tips for parents on how to prevent the abuse and how to talk to you kids - and so much more.

The first step is to Educate yourself. The second step is to Talk To Your Kids. Parenting is not a job for a nervous nelly, and there are tons of resources available. USE THEM.

Click the ‘more’ tab below for the Q&A session with Karen Reed. Thanks for the info, Monica!

(more…)

The lovely Mimi dropped me a line the other day to let me know of a new project that she been working on with the Consumer HealthCare Product Association. They’re the member0based association that represents manufacturers of OTC medicines and wow that’s a hella mouthful for the first paragraph isn’t it? Ha!

Anyway, Mimi wrote to let me know about the Stop Medicine Abuse initiative that was launched a few months ago. While recent surveys say more parents are talking to their teens about risky behaviors, there’s still a long way to go to make sure EVERY parent is doing what I preach all the time - Talking to their Kids. Remember that teens who learn about drugs from their parents are about half as likely to abuse them!

To help that along, many OTC cough medicines will be featuring the image above on their packaging, hoping to be a key to remind parents that it’s not just the main hard core drugs that they need to be on the lookout for, but also simpler and easier to get things like cough meds. Those medicines are as easy as opening the cabinet at home, readily accessible and thus very easily abused.

Over at Stop Medicine Abuse website, they are taking action and hoping to help educate parents in the dangers, as well as helping them open up that important conversation with their teens. Take a few minutes to head over there and see the information they’ve collected - including the code words teens are using in reference to using these drugs. (Dex. Triple Cs. Tussin. Robofizzing. Etc.)

Our best defense as a parent is being informed, so that we can have those discussions with our kids. Check out the site today - and tell Mimi I sent ya.

PS: Click here for a report on a recent National Survey re: kids and Prescriptions! - Thanks Candice!

This entry is BOUND to offend some folks. I’ve warned you before that “normal” and I only bear a passing resemblance. I am not a soccer mom, I’m much more open with my kids than some think wise, and I pride myself in being offensive in many situations. So - if your a prude and the logo to the left offends you, ya might wanna skip this one. We’ll wait while you exit in an orderly fashion.

(insert hold music here)

Alrighty - they’re gone! For the rest of you? It’s time to talk SEX, BABY! What do you mean “again”? This time, it’s not me though, this time it’s all about the Midwest Teen Sex Show.

The Midwest Teen Sex Show is not sex education exactly - but it is “a space for frank discussion of all things related to teen sexuality.” They like to call it sex information, rather than sex education. They present the information in educational and entertaining ways - with insight and a lot of laughter. They’re not promoting teen sex, but they admit the same thing I do - it’s gonna happen. Sooner or later, it will, and it’s MUCH better to have information on all things sexual before making that leap into bed.

And yes, they include a disclaimer, that MTSS is intended for teens and adults, and if your under 18 get permission from your parents, etc.

Here’s the thing though - it’s funny. And educational. And tackles ALL the issues - including fetishes/kinks (Who’s your 16th president!), Prom (Prom babies cry just as loud!), condoms, boobs, hookups, HPV, Orgasms, the Penis, breakups, oral sex, porn, and more. Yes. THERE’S MORE.

I had never heard of this site before and it was VERY much my loss. Last night in a chat, a gal sent me the link (THANKS MYSTIC!), and I’ve been giggling ever since! Granted, I have the mind of a teenage boy, and this site is bound to offend some parents, but trust me when I say - your teens? Will LOVE it. They’ll want to lick it. Hump it. Have little MTSS babies with it.

Case in point, I called over Peppermist the minute she got home from school, and gave her a choice of videos to watch. We educated ourselves on the Vagina, Boobies (BEWBS!) and The Penis. And we giggled - we outright laughed - we smacked our foreheads in “Oh. eM. Gee!!” a couple of times. But, she learned stuff too. I asked her afterwards if she’d watch more, and she gave it a double thumbs up - and bookmarked it.

So - if you’re a little shy about giving info and talking with your kids but admit teens generally have wacked out senses of humor, or if you’re like me and have the mind of a 16 year old boy - check out The Midwest Teen Sex Show. Sex is funny. (And serious too. But mostly funny.)

PS - as I was writing this, it was announced that the MTSS is coming to a TV near you! Comedy Central has announced that it will be added to their lineup for 2009-10! My kids? are THRILLED!

** I get a lot of text messages and phone calls from my kids, and also “my” kids. They text or call to check in, or just to say hi, they call for rides and pickups and to let me know where they are, and they call when they need money.

Not all of them, but the ones I gave birth too, and a couple of others, often call when they have need. They understand when I have to say no, and they also when I can only spare five bucks. They never ask for massive amounts, and more often than not, they’ll simply come over and raid my fridge and pantry when they needs something. I’m perfectly ok with that - as that’s part of my job as a mom - be supportive, as well as make them fend for themselves as needed.

Yesterday though, the request for money also held a distinct level of pride attached to it.

I’ve mentioned B before - she’s the girl who stayed with us for a while before her 18th birthday, because she’d gotten kicked out of her grandmother’s house. B is fiercely independent and while she occasionally makes decisions I simply cannot stand behind, I’m proud to call her one of “my” kids.

She dropped out of her senior year in high school, knowing she wouldn’t have the credits even if she stayed in to graduate with her class. She and I have gone back and forth about what she should do, but I always left the ball in her court. She is 18, she can make the decision. She knows I want her to have a diploma or GED, and that I’ll do what I can to help her obtain it.

For a while, B attended the alternate high school, and made plans to be able to walk with her class. It didn’t work out, and she couldn’t quite get it together. Then, yesterday, I got the call.

“Mom! Can I borrow $25? Wait! Before you answer, ask me what it’s for - go on! Ask me!”

So I did. Turns out she needed $25 to pay to take the test in order to get her GED. I haven’t heard yet how she did, but that’s one check I certainly didn’t mind writing!

Congrats, B, on taking the initiative and taking the test. Here’s to good results! I’m so proud of you!

**Her hair is now short and punky and black and OH SO VERY CUTE - but I don’t have a recent picture. *L* her hair changes bi-weekly though, so who knows what’ll happen next!**

Ashley sent me a note this morning to let me know about the “What Do You Play For?” campaign and asked that I pass it along to you - and I’m happy to do so!

I’ve done many sports with my kids, (10 years of Little League, and Boys n Girls Club Basketball) and though the two older ones are ‘over it’ the youngest is an avid swimmer and I still find myself with a regular case of bleacher butt as I watch her compete in meets with our local team. While it sometimes is difficult to find the right sport for your child (My youngest never did well when having to split the coaches attention with a whole team. That’s why she’s a swimmer - her biggest competition is herself!) I do think it’s important to get them into something while they’re young and let them dabble and try out anything they are interested in. It gives a great basis to learn teamwork, to learn to relate to an adult in a coaching position, and how to win and lose with a good attitude.

Brickfish and YouthNoise agree. They’ve teamed up for the campaign which advocates the use of sports to energize individuals, revitalize communities and promote change in the world. For their campaign, they are asking the entrants to submit photos that clearly demonstrate how they’re using sports to make impacts and hat causes and purposes they play for. The grandprize winner - selected by YouthNoise from the top 250 scoring entries, will win $500 cash or scholarship.

Here are the details:
• Entrants are asked to submit original photos that best represent how they use sports to make differences in their lives, their communities and the world.

• Include detailed descriptions of the photographs and what they represent.

• Consumers share their entries with each other via social media to get votes and reviews

• Entries are also ranked according to how “viral” they are(meaning how much they’ve been circulated throughout the Internet, be it via social networks, email, IM, or other sites)

Rewards:

• Grand Prize: One winner, selected by YouthNoise from the top 250 highest scoring entries, will win $500 cash or scholarship.

• Most Viral: One winner, selected by YouthNoise from the top 250 Most Viral entries, will win $500 cash or scholarship.

• Sign-up Sweepstakes: Five winners, who sign up to receive information from YouthNoise by filling out the form in the Campaign Highlights area of the “What Do You Play For?” campaign or that opt-in from the Submit Entry tab, will be randomly selected to win $100 cash or scholarship.

You can check out the campaign here, and also a demonstration entry here. Good luck to all those that enter! Let us know how it goes!

Thanks for the heads up, Ashley!

Gina sent me some information last week and asked that I pass it along. As the mom to an almost senior, I know just how easy it is to feel overwhelmed at the idea of sending our kids to college, especially now days. The costs are higher than ever, and no one knows when it’ll change, when -or if- it’ll get better.

Talking money with our kids is sometimes harder than talking sex, or drugs. We want so much to give them everything they need and want, we sometimes forget to explain to them why we can’t always do that. It’s easy enough to fight over money with our significant others, that we often neglect to even start those conversations with our kids until it’s too late.

To help, College Parents of America and Chase Card services have put together a guide to help ease into that conversation. The guide is free, and available online here, and has discussion aids and activities to help your student (and mine!) establish strong financial habits. If nothing else, it’ll certainly help us sleep better knowing they’ve learned the good habits - even if we haven’t always followed them ourselves.

The guide cover how to create and stick to a budget, as well as understanding credit ratings, credit cards, and loans. There are sections on banking services, contracts and even identity theft. Even if your child (like mine) is not interested in going directly to college, these subjects are things they’ll need to know as they enter the work force as well. Healthy spending habits now will only help our kids succeed in the future!

So take a look at the guide - maybe it’ll help you and yours continue in the right direction.

This story cracks me up every time I read it. You see, young Trenton O’Neal’s parents weren’t pleased with his performance on his last report card, and rather then yell, or ground him, or take away his toys, they decided to use a form of embarrassment to get their displeasure across to him, and make definite imprint in his mind. They had him stand on a corner with that poster board around his neck and not-so-proudly show off his grades with the addition of “My Future = shaky.”

Naturally, he boy has gotten the point, and says that he certainly doesn’t want to be out there again, and his preacher papa and mama stand by their decision to place him there, as Trenton wasn’t “trying at all” not even to “turn in the work he does while we’re watching.”

I feel their pain. My son is not the greatest scholar - he very much has his daddy’s view on the whole thing, and while that’s tempered with my insistence that a high school diploma is necessary, and anything after that is up o them, it’s clear that the boy? He just doesn’t do school well.

It’s been a battle this year, as he insists that he can handle it on his own, without my nagging. It’s always hard to know where to draw the line, as he’s wanting to grow up, to take charge, to take on the responsibility. Meanwhile my heart is something like OMG MAH BABY BOY HES TOO LITTLE, crossed with FINE! Just GROW up already! See if I care!

He had a close call last semester, so I’ve been riding him a bit more about it this quarter. It doesn’t help when he ends up at work until 3 am this morning, and didn’t quite make it to school until just before his project presentation is due, but he checked his grades online first before deciding to sleep in - which made it an educated decision.

So, while his grades may not be perfect at least he knows and is working toward the goal I set for him - graduation. After that, he can take his time deciding what he really wants to do. I won’t be making him stand on any street corners in he meantime.

For now.

You hear it all the time - hell, I’ve said it more then once myself - when stories like Rihanna and Chris Brown hit the newstands, or any other situations of abuse… especially when the victim returns to their abuser as Rihanna has recently gone back to Brown. We’d never do that, never allow it to happen to us, we can’t believe she went back, etc. Thing is, that’s a very slippery slope that leads to Victim Blaming - if only she’d done this or that, it wouldn’t have happened, and that my friends is a line of pure bullshit.

First, we don’t know the whole story, we only know what’s been reported. I saw the picture that was being posted, and know that there are investigations currently going on, but the facts are that Brown has not been charged as of yet, and even in this is innocent until proven guilty. Do I think he did it? Absolutely. And I hope they can prove it. So why did she go back to him?

There’s a lot of reasons that a woman would go back to an abuser. My mom works in the local shelter here in town, and has written a post worth reading that includes a list of some of those reasons. While the financial reasons and some of the others do not fit Rihanna’s profile, perhaps there are others. She’s a singer, a star, but that does not mean she doesn’t have self esteem issues, or other factors that went into her returning.

It takes an average of SEVEN TIMES before a victim will leave their abuser - that means some leave the first time, others take many more times hen the 7 to decide they’ve had enough. All we can do now is hope that Rihanna is safe, and that her support system is firmly in place so that this doesn’t happen again.

What does that mean to us as parents of teenagers? It means that we need to use this situation to open up conversations with our teens about the dangers of both physical and psychological abuse. Talk to your kids about the code of conduct you expect them to live by, and open the lines of communication so that they feel comfortable coming to you if something does happen. Alert them to the signs, so that they can be aware of the signals in their own relationships, as well as that of their friends. But as I preach over and over again - just talk to them.

My husband suffered a childhood of horrendous abuse, and was living proof that as broken as he often felt, the cycle of violence could be destroyed and stopped within him. It didn’t make our life easy, but it certainly made us aware, and we’ve raised our kids to be aware of the signs and to have the strength to stand up to an abuser. We’ve given them the tools - and pray that they never need them. Most of all, the kids know they can come talk to me about ANYTHING.

So use this, use the situation with Rihanna and Chris Brown not to condemn the story we only currently know pieces of, and not to blame the victim - but instead to teach our kids the signs, to be sure they’re aware, and to make sure the lines of communication are open. We may never know the full story of what happened between them, but we CAN make sure we have a say in the stories our children will write with their relationships.

If your worried about your teen, here are some signs of abuse in a dating relationship, as well as some statistics. Educate yourself, so that you can educate your kids.

When I was growing up, we had an elderly preacher live with us for 11 years. The story goes, Mama decided to pray for patience once, and God delivered by giving her an old man who’d try the patience of a saint. And he did, daily.

Grandpa S was, well, he was something. He was set in his ways, and ornery and determined, and annoying and amusing, smart and all things that older folks usually are. He would sit in his room for hours, typing on his VERY noisy old typewriter, writing devotions to submit to various publications he had been involved with since attending Seminary at Grace College waaaaaaaay back in the day. We’d dutifully proof read, and then make sure it got sent off to the right place, and back he’d go again to typetypetype on the keys.

While it wasn’t always the perfect arrangement, it did each me a tolerance for the elderly, even when they were driving me up the wall. He always had interesting stories, and as much as we swore it wouldn’t be so - we kinda missed him when he moved out. We even missed his tendency to wander out into the yard, pick dandelions, toss the yellow flower, wash the rest in the sink (And I use the term “wash” loosely. VERY loosely.) then throw them in a bowl with some Italian dressing and add it to his lunch or dinner.

I was reminded of those Dandelion Greens salads when a video came through my feed reader this morning, featuring Clara, a 93 year old grandmother, who’s grandson films her as she cooks meals she and her family used to get by in the depression. Potatoes, eggs, and other cheaper items stretched to feed a lot of people, in order to get by - valuable lessons to learn at any age, and especially now with folks recession obsessed. She tells stories as she cooks, and her grandson often focuses on her hands as she measures and stirs and hows us how to stretch our dollar - we see the slight tremble, the age spots, and remember that folks before us have survived worse - we can survive too.

So I encourage you to check out Great Depression Cooking with Clara! Who knows, you might find a recipe that you like - and that your kids will eat. We’ve done something similar to her grandson’s favorite ‘poorman’s meal’ for years at my house! Check it out:

And have the teenagers watch it too - they might learn something, even if it’s just a simple meal they can wow their future girlfriends/boyfriends with while cooking in a single pot while at college. Who doesn’t need to know something like that, right? Exactly.

So, in my many many hours that I spent bopping around the internets, I come across some pretty interesting sites sometimes, and this one is no different. I don’t even remember how I got there, but in one of my random link-clicking sprees, I happened upon PlanetAhead.ca, which caused me to instantly ask the question “is that a CONDOM he’s using for a CAPE?” And then I giggled. Because I am 12.

Anyway! It’s actually a pretty cool site, and yes, that is a condom he’s wearing as a cape, because the super heroes in that banner are named Condom Man and Lucy Lubricant. (Admit it - you’re giggling now, too!) The site is designed as a safe place for kids, teens and tweens, to ask and get answers to the questions hey might not feel comfortable talking to mom and dad about - everything from puberty to STDs, to the physical, and emotional risk of becoming sexually active. The answers are honest, and often include encouragement to talk to a trusted adult and/or a physician. The team at Planet Ahead -Condomania is a diverse group, including members of different ethnic, national backgrounds, and sexuality. This gives them a broad range of ‘experts’ to help give kids the kind of answers they are hoping for - honest ones.

Sure, it may make some parents uncomfortable, but knowledge almost never backfires. After all, we KNOW kids will eventually have sex - don’t we owe it to them to give them the correct tools to process their feelings and desires into healthy relationships? So check out the site today, and maybe sneak it onto your kids favorites list, or point it out in a more obvious “READ THIS” way, depending on how open you are with your kids and your own comfort level. There’s a LOT of good info there, and it’ll open doors to open and frank discussion with your kids.

Just don’t forget those all important four words that I start every sex talk with in my house… “I WILL KILL YOU!” followed by “…but if you must, know this…”

Because, you know, I’m cool like that.

Back in the day, ya know, when I was a teenager, struggling to walk too and from school in 29 foot high snowdrifts, uphill BOTH ways, barefoot with only a scrap of fabric for a coat and newspaper for socks, and mittens spun from the fluffy shed fur of the neighbors cat… and don’t forget being sick as a dog and possibly bleeding to death because hello, only ACTUAL UNCONSCIOUSNESS was good enough to let you stay home - back in the day we NEVER missed school! EVER.

(That sound you hear? My mother’s snort, coupled with rolling eyes, that I can practically see, since she drove me to and from school every single day until I got my own car and drove myself the whole 2 blocks to the high school.)

Since we live in Alaska, though, you know the roads HAVE to be bad if we shut down. After all, we’re not places like oh, Seattle, or other places that shut down when there’s like TWO INCHES of snow. In fact we SCOFF at your two inches, and wave about our snow-angles in multiple FEET of snow, as we brush off the cars, put them in 4 wheel drive, and go on about our days.

This morning, I got a text from my son, who I’d let stay with his friends last night, knowing they’d be driving into school this morning from beyond the bus routes. One of said friends’ mom is a bus driver, and the busses are running on a 2 hour delay this morning because of road conditions.

You see, after our Deep Freeze? We’re now sweltering in 36F degree weather! Things are suddenly MELTING! (Like the ice in the hoses to my washer - YAY LAUNDRY!) There’s the dulcet sounds of water dripping from the roof, and a thin sheet of ice coats the packed snow, and Mario Bros. sounds from the bedroom as the youngest awaits her fate. With a 2 hour bus delay, do I let her stay home, or make her go…

After the first text message from my son, I drug my weary behind out from bed to load up the local radio station online so I could hear for myself. Seems the buses may be running 2 hours behind, but the SCHOOLS THEMSELVES are starting ON TIME, for those children who’s parents take them in, or they walk, or drive themselves.

Interesting. So I passed this little nugget of information on to my son, and since his two possible rides were stuck out there with parents not letting them drive, he’s pretty much SOL - snow/ice day home for him! He made off lucky, and I made sure he knew that I “was not happy!” about it. Truth be told, I didn’t mind so much. With roads that bad, I’d rather the boys not risk it. But shhhh. Don’t tell him that!

Then the text alert on my daughters phone started going off. And off. And off. And off. The messages were flying fast and furious - who was delayed, who had to go to school, who’s parents were driving, who had convinced their parents to let them stay home… Before I knew it, I had Peppermist (the child previously known as ‘the girl’) out here with a wailing cry.. “but MOOOO-OOO-OOOM, I’d be all ALONE”

(That sound was MY snort, coupled with MY eyes rolling. Inorite? I am my mother’s daughter..)

You see, in the time it took for my daughter to get up, pee, and walk to the living room, she already knew that 5 of her 6 friends were staying home, and the last text message arrived confirming the 6th was as well the minute she sat on the couch. Yeah. THAT fast.

A couple calls were made - there were other kids I was supposed to pick up this morning as my dad was supposed to head out of town, though he didn’t go anywhere either because of the roads and was waiting for me to appear to steal his car so he could laugh at me. Gee thanks, dad! Finally, we Mom’s and Nana’s just collectively tossed up our hands. Screw it. The kids could stay home. All of them.

Once again the text messages FLEW, just before the snoring started up again.

All of this brought to mind something my Dad always said when we were young - the 3 fastest forms of communication are: Telephone, Telegraph, and Tell-a-Woman. After this morning, I think I can safely amend that to “Telephone, Telegraph, and Text-a-Teen.”