Parenting Teens

In California, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has just signed a new law forbidding minors to use electronic devices while driving. This includes pagers, PDA’s, laptop computers and-yes-cell phones. Here is the gist of Senate Bill 33:

Beginning July 1, anyone under age 18 will be prohibited from using a cell phone, laptop, PDA, pager or two-way messaging device while driving in California. Traffic officers, however, will not be allowed to pull over drivers simply because of a cell phone infraction

The fine for a first offense will be $20 and, for each additional offense, $50. Similar laws are in effect in 15 other states: Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Nebraska, New Jersey, North Carolina, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and West Virginia, as well as Washington, D.C.

Here are some statistics from a Seventeen Magazine survey of 16-and 17-year-old drivers:

61%

Number of teens who admit to risky driving habits
46%

Share of the risky drivers who say they text message when driving
51%

Share of the risky drivers who say they talk on cell phones while driving
40%

Number of teens who exceed the speed limit by 10 mph or more while driving

Do you have teens who drive? How do you feel about these laws?

Personally, I’m all for them. My daughter just turned 17,and I’m all for anything that gets her home safely. She’s a good, careful driver, but if she got on a cellphone with one of her friends while driving, I know she would be distracted. Our rule is that she has to pull over and park to use her cell phone, and that she’s only allowed to do that in an emergency.

Electronics have made communication much better and easier, but they can be yet another headache for parents of teenagers!

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We are now in the process of beginning an active search for a car for my 16-year-old daughter. We’d prefer to have something new but, since our budget won’t allow that, we’ll be going the used route. We’re lucky to be able to get some pretty good opinions. My father was an auto mechanic up until his retirement, and my younger brother does auto body work, as does my nephew. So we have some good resources.

We’ve started searching the newspaper and online, and we’ll be visiting some used car dealerships this weekend. However, this is causing some minor conflict within the family. My daughter would prefer something that looks like the picture at the top of this post. Her father and I would prefer something that looks like a Sherman tank!

It’s difficult to accept that your child will soon be driving without you in the car beside her. You’re no longer with her to give information if she has a question. You’re no longer there in case she gets in a minor fender-bender and is scared. You’re no longer there to nag at her that she’s getting a little too close to the center line or to the mailboxes on the right side of the road!

She, of course, is thrilled at the idea of driving herself to school every day. She’s even more thrilled that she’ll be able to drive herself to the movies or the mall, or out to eat with friends, without mom or dad dropping her off and picking her up.

And, naturally, we’re worried. Worried that she’ll go to the mall or to the movies, and we’ll end up getting a call about an accident. Or that the car will break down on some deserted, lonely road. Or she won’t get home on time, and we won’t be able to reach her on her cell phone, and that she’ll end up missing because someone snatched her at the mall. Or she’ll be late coming home from school and we’ll find out that aliens have kidnapped her. You know, all the normal things parents with teen drivers worry about!

My daughter has proven herself to be a safe, careful driver. She’s also responsible about calling home when she needs to, and about staying with friends and not being off anywhere alone. I know all this.

But it’s about time to give her what I consider to be a huge step toward independence, and I’m worried. In fact, I’m downright scared at times! It’s another one of those times when you now know what your own parents went through!

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Tracey over at Paris Hilton Watch is doing a great job keeping up with all Hilton’s latest antics. As a parent, however, I felt a strong urge to say something after hearing about Paris’ latest woes.

Hilton was recently sentenced to 45 days in jail after being caught driving on a suspended license, for the second time. Apparently, upon hearing that she would be required to spend all of about 23 actual days in jail (taking into account time off for good behavior, which I wouldn’t bet on with Paris Hilton), and spending it in a “special needs facility” separated from the general inmate population, poor Paris had a nervous breakdown! She immediately started a petition asking for a pardon from Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (who reportedly said that he had not seen a petition, but that he had more important things to do, anyway)!

The most upsetting thing to me about all this is that there are still teen and preteen girls out there who still see Paris Hilton as a role model, and haven’t figured out that (even though she’s 26 now), most teens and preteens are more mature than Paris!

Apparently, this childish woman has NEVER learned that her actions have consequences, that she is not above the law, and that she must be responsible for herself. Parents, please, teach your children right from wrong. Teach them that they must pay for their mistakes.

Make them think that they are special, yes-but not so special that they can get away with things for which everyone else must take responsibility. Don’t let them reach the age of 26 thinking that money, fame, or anything else puts them above the law. The last thing we need is any more Paris Hiltons out there!

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Yesterday was my father’s 78th birthday. While my brother and sister were both there for it, I won’t get to see my dad for another couple of weeks. So I decided to make today’s post about my dad. In keeping with the fact that this blog is about parenting teens, I’m going to talk about some memories of my dad from my teen years.

When I was 15, my dad took me to get my learner’s permit. It took the patience of a saint to teach me to drive. My dad didn’t have the patience of a saint! (How many of us do?) However, he did have the experience of having taught my older sister to drive just six years earlier. I remember all those times when I know he wanted to swear at me. And I can remember a few times when he actually did! Despite the rough spots, learning to drive from my dad is a pleasant memory. At the time I was learning, he owned a 1972 Plymouth Satellite. If you want any more information on that check out William’s blog over at Automotive Blogger. He does some great stuff on cars! I’d love to have some of you comment about what kind of car you learned to drive in, and your memories of learning to drive.

Once I learned how to drive, however, I had it made. My father was an auto mechanic for most of his working life. My father not only helped me pick out my first car (which was a 1974 Chevrolet Vega GT, yes, one of those rustbuckets!), he was always on hand to change my oil and fix the car when anything happened. Some of my fondest memories are of helping my father fix the car. He got to pass along some of his expertise and I actually learned a few mechanical things!

My dad and I have both always had strong political opinions. When I was a teenager, I began to be a lot less shy about voicing my opinions. My dad and I usually disagreed. I can remember some very interesting debates that stopped just short of shouting matches about immigration, the Vietnam War and lots of other things. Some of those debates were started by the TV show “All In The Family” which we always watched together. If you’ve ever watched it, you know that it often had politics involved.

I think my fondest recollection of my dad from my teen years involves “Star Wars”. When I became a teenager, I discovered horror and science fiction books and movies, and I’ve been into both of them ever since. My dad never understood the attraction. But he did take me to see “Star Wars” when it was released in 1977. I was a few months shy of my sixteenth birthday and I took a friend with me (she really didn’t see the attraction either). To save you working the math, that makes me 45 years old! My dad sat through it, since the movie theater was about a thirty-minute drive from home and he really didn’t want to drive home and then come back. His pronouncement after sitting through the movie which is MY favorite movie of all time? “I don’t know why anyone would want to sit and watch a movie full of tin cans!” (Referring to the ships and the droids!). I found this hilarious then, and I still find it hilarious today!

I’ll stop here, because I have so many recollections of my dad from my teen years that I could write a book. Fathers are so important to all kids, including teenagers. I can’t imagine those years without my dad, and I’m happy to say that we have an even closer relationship now, despite the fact that there’s more physical distance between us. I’d love to hear from some of you about memories of your fathers, especially from your teen years!

If you want more on fatherhood, visit Dave at All About Fatherhood.

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As the parent of a teenager, do you attend meetings of your local school board? I don’t attend as many as I would like, but I do try to attend meetings when an issue about which I have strong opinions is discussed. The upcoming meeting of our local school board is one such meeting.

Our local school board will be discussing reinstating driver’s education, which hasn’t been offered in our local schools since 2004, due to budget cuts and the cost of offering the course. I live in Georgia, where the school systems do not receive state funding to pay for driver’s education courses. This makes absolutely no sense because in 2005, state legislators passedJoshua’s Law, which requires 16-year-olds to take a state-approved driver’s education course and complete 40 hours of supervised driving to get a license.

Joshua’s Law is named for Joshua Brown, a 17-year-old Georgia boy who died in 2003, shortly after graduating from high school. On a rain-slicked road, his truck hydroplaned and crashed into a tree. He had not taken driver’s education. His parents, Alan and LuGina Brown, dealt with their grief by forming the Joshua Brown Foundation.

The non-profit organization’s mission is “to establish networks between public, private, and government partners to make technologically advanced driver’s education available for every teen.” Joshua’s father, Alan Brown, will be speaking at our school board meeting to explain how affordable driver’s education can be. This is one of those important meetings that I feel I can’t afford to miss. Before long, my daughter will be out on the roads driving alone. I want her to have every advantage she can possible have on dangerous roads where teens lose their lives every day.

If your school system does not offer driver’s education, or if you feel their current program could be improved, I urge you to visit the website of the Joshua Brown Foundation.They explain the options of using computers and driving simulators in driver education courses-options which could save teen lives on the road.

In addition, they have information on car selection and maintenance, driving skills, and insurance and responsibility. It’s a great site for teen drivers and parents of teen drivers. The driving skills of our teenagers is an issue that affects every one of us. Make sure that you get involved in this important issue at the local and state levels. Let your voice be heard!

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I haven’t published articles by others very often, but here’s something I felt was very worthwhile. It’s a great sample contract for teen drivers and their parents. If anyone out there says they aren’t in the least nervous about their teen beginning to drive, my hat’s off to them. My own daughter has her learner’s permit and will be driving on her own before too long. She’s doing great so far, but I’m still very worried about her driving alone.

This contract is great to use as-is, or simply use it for a guideline and change it any way you want to fit the needs of yourself and your teenage driver. Let’s keep our teens (and everyone else) safe on the road!

Parent Teen Contract for Teen Drivers
By Glenn Lamb

Parents of new teen drivers are concerned about the safety of their kids with good reason. If you wish to establish some written rules you can make use of the following agreement form. Of course it may need to be modified to fit your concerns…

Agreement: Driving for a student is a privilege, not a right. Education is more important than driving privileges. Parent will suspend or revoke driving privileges if teen gets a grade lower than C for any class. Driving may also be suspended for violation of school rules or breaking any criminal law.

Agreement: Permission for a permit and license is subject to teen agreeing to all of the following items. Suspension or revoking driving privileges can result from violating any of these rules.

1. I will not drink and drive, or use illegal drugs. I will not ride with another driver if I know or suspect they are intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. I will immediately take a drug test if told to do so by a parent. Failing or not taking a requested drug test will result in a revocation of driving privileges.
2. I will not permit any alcohol containers, including empties, in any vehicle I am operating. I will not transport anyone who I know or suspect may be carrying illegal drugs. I understand that the law provides for forfeiture of a vehicle used in trafficking illegal drugs, even if the vehicle is owned by another.
3. At all times I will drive as if my life and my passenger’s lives depend on it. I will obey all traffic law and any curfews or restrictions my license imposes.
4. I agree not to drive with or transport anyone who is possession of a firearm or other weapon unless I get permission from my parent.
5. I will always wear a seat belt and insist on any passengers wearing one.
6. I will keep music at a moderate volume so I will be able to hear emergency sirens or car horns. I will not talk on a cell phone or eat food while driving.
7. I understand that driving dangers increase when the number of teens in a car increases. For this reason I agree to have no more than 2 teen passengers, at any time, in my car during my first year of driving. I will not succumb to peer pressure to drive in an unsafe or reckless manner. When I am driving I am in control. I can stop and tell others to leave my vehicle if they are acting badly and will do so.
8. I will not race any vehicle.
9. I will not loan my vehicle or any family vehicle under any circumstances.
10. I understand that to be on mom’s insurance policy I must keep my driving record clean. If I must go off my parents policy because of tickets or accidents the cost of insurance will be much higher. I will pay these higher costs myself and maintain liability insurance coverage of at least $100,000/$300,000. If I can not afford to do so I will not be able to drive.
11. In order to have my own car I must pay all related expenses. These include gas, maintenance, repairs, licensee plates, state inspections, etc. Also I know that sooner or later the car will need to be replaced at my expense. Because I know this I will start saving now for this.
12. I understand that if my driving privileges are suspended because I break these rules, which I have agreed to, it will be m own fault. Therefore I won’t complain about it or the length of suspension will be increased.
13. If my driving privileges are suspended by my parents or a court and I drive anyway, my parents will sell my car for a low wholesale price. The money will be given to me after I move out.

I have carefully read this agreement, it has been explained to me, I understand and agree.

Signed _______________ Date:_________

This article is by Glenn Lamb mortgage broker and owner of Texas Capital Mortgage - http://Texas-capital-mortgage.com visit my other sites at http://business-insurance-houston.com and http://reverse-mortgage-houston.com

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