Parenting Teens

So, we’ve suddenly gotten a flurry of postcards and information from local and state colleges - probably due to my son being a junior, and a very big push to do everything “local” around here. There’s open houses, and information packets urging us to Call Today! and a variety of other papers from the High School itself. It’s sort of funny, because at this point in time, neither of my teenagers are planning on going to college. The boy, he’s determined to work, and take a -possibly lifelong - break from school. The girl is a freshman and just doesn’t want to think about it yet. And since I didn’t get my degree until I turned 34, I really see no point in pushing them toward a higher education that they don’t want, won’t like, and haven’t decided they need yet.

But again, as in oh so many areas, I’m not a normal mom. A lot of other parent’s in the area have been grooming their darlings to escape the state and attend bigger, better colleges in order to nab up those big paying jobs. I’d be willing to bet they get a nice case of hives when they check into how much it will cost, as well, and start urging the kids toward scholarships and grants, rather then loans.

We’re all looking for ways to save - and education costs is a part of that mission. Upromise knows this, and has decided to help out. Upromise has decided to give anyone - student, parent, grandparent or graduate a chance to tell their tuition tale and enter a contest with the chance to win a total of $30k for college expenses!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 will be known as Tuition Tuesday. Upromise will kick off the contest, where they will search for the “most creative, entertaining and deserving individuals”. There are three categories: Saving for College; In College Now; and Paying It Back. It could be Nana explaining how her 3 year old grandbaby will become president, or a HS Senior singing his dreams of taking the concert world by storm. There will be three grand prize winners - $10k each - one from each category.

Here are the rest of the details:

Contest participants can enter from March 24 to May 3, on behalf of themselves or their family members and friends by uploading a 30 seconds or less video clip on why they or someone they know deserve money for college at Tuition-Tales.com.

During the voting period, May 6-May 12, the public will have a chance to vote for their favorite video and play the Tuition Tales instant win game for the opportunity to win daily prizes. The twelve videos with the most votes will receive a $250 Bed Bath & Beyond® Gift Card and enter the final voting phase, May 13-May 19. Three grand prize winners will be awarded $10,000 for college expenses.

Last year the Tuition Tales contest was only open to Upromise members and received more than 250 creative videos. This year the contest is open to the public – Upromise member or not. Contest participants must be at least 18 years old to enter.

So check it out today! After all, every little bit helps, right?

It’s happened. For the past few weeks we’ve been getting fliers in the mail, brochures from Colleges around that have gotten word that I’ve a junior in high school that should have some idea what he wants to do with his life after high school.

Of course, if you ask him, he’ll tell you he has no idea. It’s not exactly true, as of right now he has no plans to attend college, so all the fliers tend to end up in the circle file as soon as they arrive. I think part of it is that he knows I can’t afford to help him pay for it, as I’m still paying off my own loans. He’d have to get his grades up, decide what direction he wants to go in AND get funding to get there. Yeah, I have a feeling he’ll be living in my shed for some time after graduation!

But at least he’s started to think about it, think about sticking with his current job, possibly moving on to follow his friends out of state, sticking around and helping out here. He has options, he’s just not quite ready to contemplate them yet. I’m sure some of you understand that - while other’s have kids already on the scholarship track, already knowing which direction they’re headed after graduation. We’ll tackle those kids first!

Holly, our buddy over at THE LEAGUE has a scholarship opportunity, through the John S and James L Knight Foundation that promotes excellence in journalism worldwide. Since 1954, the foundation has given more then $300 million in journalism grants. The KNIGHT scholarship is a national competition where three students will receaive $5000 each for their writings or reflections on civic experiences in one of three categories: Persuasive Essay, Personal Narrative, or News Story. This opportunity is open to high school seniors - and you don’t have to be part of a LEAGUE classroom to apply! You can apply at The LEAGUE starting January 5th, 2009, and the deadline is March 6th, 2009. I encourage you to check it out!

Now, for those teens that aren’t exactly sure what they want to be or do? Have I got the site for you! Me, I’m just a mom who gets paid to bitch about her teens, and I love that. This guy, though. Wow. This guy is a whole lot of motivation in one snarky chia-pet headed package. I’ve added his link to the sidebar, and encourage you to go and check out Hey Josh as soon as you’re done here, then send the link to your teen. He answers questions, he does reviews, he has a sort film series that tackles that most difficult of questions “What am I supposed to be when I grow up!” and encourages teens to really think about that, giving guidelines on how they might come up with something they can be happy doing. Check out his “Factory” below!

Now tell me that your kids wouldn’t get motivated by that?! If that’s not enough - check him out slinging advise on TRL on MTV - how much fun is he?

There’s also a new series on the site he’s starting called Smarty Pants TV this month, and the upcoming World Domination videos, all of which are aimed and helping our teens better themselves. Not a damn thing wrong with that, now, is there? Josh made me laugh, and nod along in agreement, and snicker some more. So what are you waiting for? Check out Hey Josh yourself!

College costs in danger of interfering with your teenager’s education? There’s lots of information out there about applying for federal financial aid, but there are plenty of other ways to get money and to save money on college costs. Here’s a few of them.

1. Out-of-state or in-state? In-state reciprocity is a deal whereby states agree to let their residents attend college at participating schools in other states at reduced rates. If your prospective student is interested in college in a nearby state, check with the school to see if this is a possibility, and if your student might qualify. You can also check with your state education department. Check at ed.gov/about/contacts/state to get help.

2. A financial aid decision can be appealed. Has your teen been denied for federal financial aid, or given too little? If financial pressures such as medical disability, a job status change, etc., have come up since aid was first applied for, some schools will review their decision on how much aid a student was given. If you do appeal, be prepared. Make an appointment with a financial aid officer, and get copies of financial statements, medical records, expense records, or anything else the financial aid office asks for, promptly.

3. Community service pays. Volunteer organizations connected with AmeriCorps will help pay for college if a student volunteers with them. Recent high school and college grads can work as a teacher, home builder, or community organizer. Americorps will give a student up to $4, 725 per year toward tuition, in return for a year of service. See their website for more information.

4. Private schools aren’t necessarily more expensive. Many private schools hand out more financial aid than their public counterparts. You might actually end up spending less on a private school.

5. Try CLEPping some classes. High scores on the College-Level Examination Program (CLEP) exams can allow you to get credit for classes on some basic required courses. Check with the college admissions office to see if you might qualify. Some colleges also give credit for advanced placement classes taken in high school.

6. Save hundreds with used textbooks. The cost of new textbooks is at an all-time high. Books for a single semester of college work can now cost in the hundreds. If the book your teen needs isn’t a new edition of an earlier textbook, buying used is the way to go. Some even find that information highlighted by students who previously used the book can come in handy, especially if they were good students!

There are all kinds of ways to get and save money for college. Sit down and brainstorm with your teenager on how they can save and you can help!

Check out the information on other parenting sites:

Mom Is Teaching
Parenting and Religion

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Currently at issue in the state of Georgia, and in the county school system in our home county, is whether to require that all high school students earn the same diploma. Currently, our high schools have a “tiered” diploma system. Students who aren’t planning to attend a four-year college can graduate from high school with fewer math and science courses than their college-bound peers, and without taking a foreign language.

Our local paper wrote an excellent editorial supporting one diploma, rather than the tiered system, in which students can earn either a vocational-technical diploma, or a college-prep diploma. Students can also earn a dual seal(both diplomas) by taking the right course work. There are other voices on both sides of the argument.

Those include the voices of local educators (teachers and principals), and of parents and local citizens. Supporters of the dual diplomas believe that the option of earning a vocational-technical diploma, with less-rigorous educational requirements, prevents dropping out of school for many students who might otherwise do so. Supporters of the one diploma system believe that it is discriminatory toward some of the students and, also, that it would make streamline the high school system.

Personally, I fall on the side of supporting one diploma. Simply put, one diploma assures that all students graduate from high school with an equal education, and with equal educational opportunities in life, after high school.

We should educate with the idea in mind that all students are going out into the same world. The fact that they choose to pursue careers with different educational requirements is not an issue for educators at the high school level. Most high schools, whether public or private, do not educate students for a career. That is for college-level education, regardless of whether that is a four-year college or a vocational-technical school.

All students should go into the world beyond high school with the best possible education that can be provided for them. In today’s high-tech world, math and science are more necessary than ever, regardless of the type of career one chooses. And since we live in an increasingly more global society, foreign languages are also necessary, not just on a career level, but in our personal lives.

Do the high schools in your area provide different diploma options for students? I’d love to hear from any of you viewing this blog about the diploma system in your area, and your thoughts on whether a one-diploma system is the best system.

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Today, I’m running a guest post by none other than my 16-year-old daughter, who has written about easing the college application process! She’s going through some of the stages of this herself, and after slogging through lots of information, she thought she could point out some useful tips. Some of her information came from College Net, which can be a very useful site when putting in those college applications! Both my daughter and I, hope you find something useful here for yourself and your teen!

Between keeping your grades up and worrying about college applications, senior year can be hectic. Throw financial aid and scholarship applications in the mix, and things can get downright scary! However, with a little planning and research, getting ready for college can be much easier.

When a block of unused time finally rolls around, use it to research some of the colleges and universities in which you have had some interest. Look up information on campus life, and use resources like the Princeton Review to see what current students have to say about their professors, the food, and the curriculum. When you find a school that seems like a good fit, look at their admissions factors. For instance, at Georgia Tech, the average high school GPA is currently 3.71 (on a 4.0 scale), and the middle 50th percentile of combined SAT scores (Critical Reading and Math) ranges from 1260 to 1390.

Once you have decided on a small handful of schools to which you would like to apply, request applications from those schools. Alternatively, fill out the Common Application, which can be used at hundreds of colleges across the country. Take note of any other requirements on your application, such as essays, letters of recommendation, and a copy of your high school transcript. Take special note of the application deadline, and put that date everywhere you need to in order to send your application on time.

Once you have your name, birth date, and other basic information on the application, it gets a little harder. The application essay can often seem like the most difficult part of applying to college. Instead of grabbing a cup of coffee and planning an all night session to get the perfect essay, relax. Before you concentrate on the actual question, brainstorm topics, such as positive qualities you would like to point out to the admissions committee. Once you decide on your topic, start writing a rough draft of the message you would like to convey in your essay. Finally, look at the question on the application. Add or take away information to make your rough draft fit the question.

Even though many of us have heard this information constantly for some time now, fully understanding it can be very useful to students who will soon be entering college. A knowledge of how to handle applying to college can allow you to keep your current grades up, since many colleges still look at transcripts even from senior year, and have an advantage over other students in the application pool. Submitting all required materials can expedite the process so that you can relax, get your application in before the deadline, and possibly receive your decision letter early.

Armed with this information, and a blue or black pen, getting through all those college applications should be easy. Remember to give yourself some time to complete the applications, so that you won’t be stressing to get six applications finished in one weekend. Relax, and try not to let college get in the way of what little bit of high school is left. Don’t forget to dot the I’s and cross the T’s, and applying to college shouldn’t be any harder than that research paper for biology.

teens, teenagers, college applications, applying to college, College Net, high school seniors, parenting teens, parenting teenagers

Living in small spaces (like dorm rooms or small apartments) can be challenging for college-age teens, or anyone else for that matter! Today, I’m posting some tips for making that small space feel bigger and more organized. Some are my own tips, and some come from professional organizer, Marcia Ramsland, author of the book Simplify Your Space.

These tips work for college students, other teens still living in their own room at home, and anyone else who needs to make a small space more usable and comfortable.

1. Minimize the clutter. This is just good, common sense. The more clutter lying around (clothes, notebooks, beer kegs, etc.), the more cluttered a room feels. Instead of spending a Saturday or Sunday picking up the entire house, try taking two minutes to put away as many items as you can every time you leave a room.

2. Clutter can also include frequently used items. If you will have a roommate, make sure you communicate with each other about who will be bringing a toaster, a coffee maker, etc., so you don’t end up with two of everything to go in a postage-stamp sized kitchen! Keep in mind that keeping two-thirds of every flat surface, such as tables and countertops, clear will make your space appear bigger.

3. Create storage wherever you can-under the bed, over the door, and on the walls. There are over-the-door organizers for everything now! If your bed is a little too low, you can get bed lifts at stores such as Bed, Bath, & Beyond or Home Depot, which will give you several extra inches to stash things.

4. Hang shelves above your desk for textbooks and small items. You don’t have to find a place to put a bookcase!

More tips after the break!

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Is your college-bound teen a broke student who’ll be living on ramen noodles? A fast-food junkie who’ll subsist on cheeseburgers and pizza? Did you pay for the college meal plan? CosmoGirl! has some great tips for healthy eating in college-no matter what meal plan your student will be following. Here’s a list of ten of them:

1. If you must eat candy, pick one that lasts longer. A minute sucking on a Jolly Rancher is better than popping Skittles nonstop!

2. Put your portion of potato chips or cookies on a plate or napkin, instead of eating them straight out of the bag. This helps you judge how much you’re eating.

3. Try having a healthy snack on hand during study sessions-fruit, trail mix, roasted almonds, high-fiber cereal. It’ll keep you away from the vending machines with all their sugary choices.

4. Have late-night fast food cravings? Try keeping things like chicken noodle soup, low-fat microwave popcorn, or peanut butter in your dorm room. Concentrate on how nice it will be not to have to get in your car and go out late at night.

5. Look over all the cafeteria food, instead of grabbing the first thing you see that looks good. You might miss something just as good (and healthier) on the other side of the room!

6. Choose darker foods over lighter ones-red sauce instead of creamy sauce, sweet potatoes rather than white potatoes, spinach instead of iceberg lettuce. Usually, the deeper the color of the food, the healthier it is.

7. Instead of taking dessert the first time through the cafeteria line, go back for it afterwards, if you’re still hungry.

8. Don’t skip meals. Try to have breakfast within an hour of waking up. Then, make it a point to eat every three-to-five hours, depending on your class schedule.

9. Go light on the frozen coffee drinks. Most are full of empty calories, and are high in fat. Have plain iced coffee with skim milk, and add your own sweetener or sugar.

10. When you eat out, choose the food that seems the least processed. Grilled chicken is healthier than salty deli meats. Fresh mozzarella is better than mozzarella sticks.

Share these tips with your college-age teen. Better yet, let him/her know you will be following them too! It can be a shared activity, and healthy for both of you.

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CosmoGirl! has included a wonderful booklet inside their latest print issue that includes many great tips for teens entering college. Although geared toward girls, most of the tips apply to guys as well. Several of my daughter’s friends found them helpful. Here’s five of the best:

1. Clean up your online profile. Those inside jokes posted on your Facebook or MySpace page won’t seem nearly as funny to your new friends at school. Plus, a simple profile lets you reveal your personality to the new people you meet at your own pace.

2. Make nice with Mom and Dad. Leave a handwritten note, or frame a picture of the three of you to show how much you love and appreciate them. College will be fun and exciting, but you’re going to miss your parents (and need their support), so give good old Mom and Dad some TLC before you leave.

3. Learn to do laundry. Ask your parents for pointers, and test your skills. Keep it simple and buy just one detergent and a color-safe bleach for both light and dark loads.

4. Get on a budget. Write down every dollar you spend for a month. Then talk to your parents about what costs you’ll be responsible for in college. Plan two weekly trips to the ATM: one on Monday for the school week, and one on Friday for the weekend’s expenses.

5. Mind your p’s and q’s. Write thank-you notes to your favorite teachers and bosses. Personalize your message and describe how each one has influenced your life. You’ll make their year, plus you’ll kick off your new life at school with some good karma.

Pass these tips off to your college-bound teens! Especially the one about the TLC for Mom and Dad!

teens, teenagers, college life, college tips, college freshmen, entering college, CosmoGirl

Do you have a teen who’s leaving for college soon? If you do, you may be facing the dilemma of whether or not they need a credit card for emergencies. Michelle Singletary, a financial writer for the Washington Post says no.

Parents gave her reasons for students needing a credit card like the following: the need to rent a motel room if they become stranded somewhere, the possibility of a car breaking down or just needing gas, the difficulty in getting a credit card after getting out of school, if they haven’t had one before. She addressed each of those issues separately, and gave good, solid reasons why students didn’t need credit cards for those things.

Some motels do rent rooms without a card. Get your student into an auto club for emergencies, instead of giving them a credit card. After graduation, a person can begin to build a credit history by starting out with a small retail account, and then moving on to a major credit card company. These are good, strong points involving not giving a teen a credit card. Then, there’s the major one-the fact that many, many college students will max out the card and there’ll be a huge debt for either you or them to pay!

My best friend is facing that dilemma with her daughter, who’s about to go away to college. She read all the good points, knew there were ways to get around using credit cards, and was worried about her daughter charging too much. In the end, she still gave her a credit card.

In a couple of years, when my daughter goes away to school, I’ll probably do the same. I think it’s something to do with the fanatical need, as a parent, to know that your child is safe. I’d rather give my daughter a credit card than think about her being stranded and having her out hunting around for a motel that rents rooms for cash. I’d rather my daughter have a credit card than think of her out stranded somewhere waiting for an auto club tow truck that might be a lot farther away than the nearest garage. And what if she has run out of cash, or has lost it?

Because of her good credit history, my best friend was able to get a card with a low interest rate that only her daughter will use. Since no one else will be using the account, it should be very simple to keep up with how much her daughter charges. And if she starts charging too much, or charging unnecessary things, the card can be taken away.

It’s up to the individual parents whether or not to give their teen a credit card. In my own case, my daughter may not really need a card. But I need her to have one for my own peace of mind! My paranoia’s showing!

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My plans to do college tips got somewhat offtrack but, hopefully, I can still get in a few useful tips for those of you who have teens going off to college for the first time! Today’s tip is about dorm life. Remember good old dorm life?! If you’ve never lived in a dorm (or if it’s been so long you’ve forgotten about it!), share the following with your teen. Also, check out the College page of the Love To Know site. This site has lots more great tips on college life, so be sure to check it out.

Many colleges now require freshmen to live in a dorm room for their first year. It can make it much easier to get acclimated to college life, and is often closer to classes, the library, dining hall, etc., than living off-campus.

One of the first things that many students must get used to is sharing a room. For many teens, college may be the first time in their lives that they’ve had to share a room with someone else. Most dorm rooms these days are set up in one of two ways:

The old standard room for two, featuring two of everything-beds, desks, closets, etc. The room may have a private bath, or a shared bath for all the dorm rooms on a particular floor.

The suite, which generally has two bedrooms housing two students each, with a shared bath and living area. This means that, while a teen will be sharing the bedroom with one other student, the bath and living area will be shared among four students.

Generally, unless a student is rooming with someone he or she knows, they will receive their roommate’s name, address and phone number during the summer. This can give them a chance to get to know one another a little over the phone, as well as discussing whether some items in their room can be shared-such as a microwave, refrigerator, TV, etc. Space in a dorm room is usually at a premium, so if some items can be shared, it will save room for both of them.

Speaking of space, there’s never enough of it! Urge your student to take the least amount of stuff they can live with, at least for the first few weeks. They may need to get a little more organized and creative-with storage containers, closet organizers, under-bed storage, etc. If it all possible, visit the dorm room the summer before college begins. Check out closets, desks, drawer space, etc., and take measurements. This can give you and your student a chance to explore storage options and find out just how much stuff they can accomodate. If the school allows it, building a loft is always an option to create more space.

The dorm will most likely have a Resident Assistant(RA), who is in charge of the dorm floor. The RA serves as a mentor and a resource to the students, helping them with any questions they may have about the dorm, or about college life in general. The RA also serves as a monitor, helping to keep the peace by issuing citations for things like noise violations. The RA will also call floor meetings and plan floor events, which can be fun ways to get to know the other dorm residents. Let your teen know that they should not be hesitant to go to their RA with questions or problems.

With security an ever-present issue, most dorms will require a key to enter the main doors of the dorm, or scanning a student ID to get in. Remind your student never to leave a main door half-open or propped open, as this can allow others easy access to their dormitory. Also, remind them to keep room doors locked.

Most dormitories also have some form of student goverment (like student council in high school). The dorm council helps plan social and educational events for the hall’s residents. Urge your student to get involved in this, if they have time. This can be a great way to get to know other people, and get involved in campus life.

This is only a brief look at dorm life. For more information, go to the website above, and check out your teen’s college website and catalog.

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College tips will be a semi-regular feature during the summer months. With many parents having teens ready to go off to college for the first time, information is the most helpful thing available! Today’s tip deals with something that many people don’t think about beforehand-your son or daughter’s medical records.

Unless your teen is going to a college in his/her hometown, and will be seeing the same doctor as before, getting copies of medical records can be a very useful thing to do! Whether your teenager will be going to the campus health clinic or will be finding a private physician in the area where they will be attending college, their medical history can be important to their continued medical care. Whether you call them medical records or a Personal Health Record, which is the current term favored by the American Health Information Management Association(AHIMA), and whether you keep a paper or a computerized record, having them can be essential.

This tip is being discussed at the beginning of the summer because it can take time to obtain copies of medical records. Obtaining these records will probably require a trip to each physician and/or hospital who has seen your teen since childhood. If your teenager is under 18, you will need to sign a release form for his/her records. If a teen is over 18, he/she will be required to sign for themselves.

It can be a hassle and take a lot of time, but it will be well worth it. If your teen has a chronic illness or condition for which he needs ongoing treatment, or if he has allergies, or any other condition which needs to be considered during medical treatment, his new physician/clinic will need to know.

The link above provides a checklist for medical information which is useful. In the midst of all the college planning, take time to obtain your teen’s medical records. And keep a copy for yourself! You never know when you might need them.

college, college life, medical records, AHIMA, American Health Information Management Association, personal health record, teens, teenagers, parenting teens, parenting teenagers

Graduation time is upon us all-students, parents, families, and friends! Need some ideas for what to get the teenager in your life for his/her graduation? Here’s a few suggestions for affordable, and useable, gifts:

*CD’s-in this case, music CD’s! They’re affordable and, if you know the graduate’s
favorite types of music and favorite artists, this one’s easy!

*Books-but books that the graduate will actually like to read! Those books of
verses for graduates are beautiful little gifts, but many graduates don’t even read them. They’re
impersonal. Choose a book from a genre or series that you know the graduate enjoys. Or a nice
bookstore gift card!

*DVD’s-another good, affordable gift-again, if you know the graduate’s favorite
movies or genres. Actually, these first three are good, all-purpose gifts for just about any
occasion, as long as you know what the recipient likes!

*Gift cards-Speaking of gift cards, they make nice, useful gifts no matter where
they’re from! Restaurant gift cards are great, since most teens list eating as a favorite hobby!
Gas gift cards are great right now, with the price of gas going up daily. If the teen will be going
off to college soon, gift cards to stores such as Wal-Mart or Bed, Bath & Beyond can be really
helpful, allowing them to buy (or at least defray the cost of) some of the things they will need.

*Money-Apparently, Miss Manners frowns on giving cold, hard cash, but I’m not
with her on this one. Money is something everyone can use, especially graduates who are either
headed for college, or will be looking for a job! If you’re worried about the amount you can afford
to give, don’t! Anything from $5 on up can be helpful. Or get a group of relatives and friends
together to each contribute what they can afford. Then, give the entire amount with a single
card signed by everyone. The graduate will be happy! Trust me!

If you’re a parent or family member who wants to give a more substantial gift, consider a certificate of deposit or savings bond. These are gifts which can be saved, or spent if an emergency arises.

Remember that, whatever you give, graduation from high school comes once in a lifetime! Make sure that one of the things you do is let the graduate know how happy and proud you are!

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It’s almost that time. Time for the school year to end. Another school year, another year of your teen’s life at home gone by. Many teens will be graduating high school, and moving on to college or work-maybe both.

How much quality time have you spent with your teen lately? Have you spent any time doing something fun with your teenager? This is a subject I like to which I like to return periodically, because it can be so easy to let that time slip away. To take it for granted.

One of my daughter’s best friends is graduating high school this year, and will be leaving for college the first of September. She’ll be working over the summer, but her mom (who happens to be my best friend!) is making a few plans for them to do things together-things that will fit into everyone’s work schedule and be fun for them, too. It isn’t easy.

But, hey, doing things together doesn’t have to mean a lot of time at once, or even a lot of expense. Go to a nice restaurant and have a lunch special a few times while you talk! Go to a movie you’ll both enjoy-a matinee; they’re cheaper! Go visit some relatives you haven’t seen in a while.

Time with your teenager doesn’t have to be forced, or something that you both dread. It can be a fun and relaxing experience for both of you, if you find something you both can enjoy doing. And time is very precious.

Virginia Tech will be having it’s graduation soon, following the mass shootings of April 16. It’s students, faculty, and families are preparing for graduation, while still mourning the loss fellow classmates and teachers. It is a reminder to all of us that time spent with loved ones can be cut short. Use it wisely.

tags]teens, teenagers, graduation, school, time with teens, Virginia Tech, Virginia Tech graduation[/tags]

Today, April 24, is Equal Pay Day. New research by the American Association of University Women shows that the gap in pay between men and women has continued to widen. According to the study, which reviewed U.S. Department of Education data on 19,000 men and women:

For every dollar a man earned in 1994, a woman made 80 cents. By 2003, the gap had widened: Women earned 69 cents.

According to experts interviewed, part of the reason for the pay gap is still the lower number of women in math and science careers. According to the Department of Education, in the year 2000 about18% of undergraduate engineering majors and 39% of math majors were women. Even when men and women have similar degrees, women were more likely to be teaching in their chosen industry, whereas men tended to be in the business side of the industry.

Go to their website to learn more about Equal Pay Day and the reasons behind the wage gap. Talk with your teenage daughters about career choice and the fields in which they can earn more money. Urge them to take a good look at careers in math and sciences.

Fields where women earn at least 5% more than men:

*Sales engineers
*Radiation therapists
*Financiald analysts
*Tool and dye makers

College Majors with Higher Starting Salaries for Women:

*Petroleum engineering
*Physics
*Journalism

Most families are no longer the traditional family unit, where the man is the sole breadwinner. Most single-parent families are headed by women and, in two-parent families, both parents are likely to work. Women making less money than men is no longer simply an issue to become outraged over, it’s something which simply does not make sense.

Equal Pay Day, American Association of University Women, U.S. Department of Education, equal pay, gender differences, pay gap, parenting teens, parenting teenagers

Many of us are still in shock following the shootings at Virginia Tech two days ago. We see new pictures and hear new information, much of which is more frightening than before. And we feel grief for the victims and their families, even though we may not have known them. Unless we have lost a child ourselves, most of us can only imagine how these families must be feeling. And we fear for our own children now more than ever.

The most difficult part of this, for many of us, will be trying to explain this to our children. How do we explain something that we, ourselves, do not understand? How do we comfort and reassure children who may be frightened that something like this will happen in their own schools? There are no easy answers.
Explaining to teenagers may sometimes be more difficult than explanations to a younger child.

When discussing the shootings with your teen, it is best to be totally open and honest. After all, for most teens, many of the victims were only a few years older than they. If teens are worried about the possibility of such violence in their own school, acknowledge that, in today’s world, that is a possibility. Don’t tell them “It’ll never happen here.” Attempting to give them a false sense of security is something most teens will see through. As strong as the temptation may be, don’t do it.

Having acknowledged that it could happen, talk to them about the precautions that are taken to make sure that it doesn’t. If the school has metal detectors, security guards, etc., point these out to them. These precautions are not foolproof (as we saw), but in many situations they do help. Point out to your teen that, though these incidents are horrible and terrifying, they really do not happen often. That’s not saying “never”, just “rarely”.

Talk with your teenager about what they can do to protect themselves if such an event were to occur. Personally, I’ve told my daughter that, if she ever sees anyone with a gun or any other weapon at school, she is to report it immediately. I’ve also told her that, if she hears gunfire, she should immediately drop to the floor and stay there, not moving or even raising her head. In addition, one of the things that she and I have discussed is that she should notify someone if she feels any student or friend she knows is writing or talking about anything that threatens or condones violence. Teens will feel better knowing that, if a situation does come up, they are not helpless. There is something they can do to protect themselves.

Talk to your teens about doing something proactive. Virginia Tech has set up a memorial website to allow people to post tributes, memorials and condolences to family and friends of the victims. If your teen would like to post something there, share the site with them. Talk to them about putting together some sort of tribute at their own school-a display, a memorial, sending cards or letters to families, etc. Doing something proactive makes people feel better. If they feel there is something they can do-no matter how small-they will feel less helpless and frightened.

If your teen is so frightened or worried that they are refusing to go to school, or if they are so distracted by the recent happenings that they are unable to do homework, behave normally with friends, etc., you may need to contact their school counselor or another professional. School counselors will be happy to provide services individually or in groups for students who are having trouble dealing with this situation.

Give your teens all the love and reassurance that you can in these difficult times. They need your love and support more than ever.

Virginia Tech, Virginia Tech shooting, school violence, school safety, Virginia Tech memorial, parenting teens, parenting teenagers