Parenting Teens

Are your teen’s teachers male or female? Does that question ever come up for you? Do you consider whether your student is getting good role models from both sexes?

Nationally, the number of male teachers in classrooms is declining, especially in elementary schools. According to Scholastic,
in 1980 about 17 percent of teachers in elementary school classrooms were male, compared with 14.2 percent today. In secondary schools, the number of men in classrooms has dropped from just over 50 percent in 1980 to less than 40 percent today.

The National Education Association (NEA) puts the percentage of male teachers nationwide at a 40 year low. And, according to NEA president Reg Weaver, the scarcity of male teachers is unfortunate, given the high divorce rate and men increasingly absent from the home. He says that male teachers are increasingly needed as role models for children.

“…one of the reasons colleges of education find it difficult to attract men into the profession (is) because of the outdated notion that teaching is a woman’s profession,” Weaver said. “And that could not be further from the truth.” The perception of teaching as a woman’s profession is still there, as is the reality of low pay and men needing to be breadwinners. However, more reasons than those are also part of the decline.

According to Steve Peha, president of Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc., other factors are more important. Many male teachers go into administrative positions to be more upwardly mobile. Others may not like being one of the few male teachers in a school, where they experience loneliness. And many feel threatened in a society where parents are likely to bring sexual misconduct charges at the drop of a hat. “I’ve had plenty of principals admit to me in private that they just don’t want to deal with men in the primary grades at all,” Peha says. “It’s not prejudice, it’s politics. They know that women in those positions will be more readily accepted by parents.”

It’s our children who lose because of these attitudes, most especially, perhaps, the boys. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2006, 12.9 million households were headed by single parents, with 10.4 million of those headed by single mothers. Boys need role models in a society where men may increasingly be absent from the household on a full-time basis.

As a single mother who raised a daughter alone for several years, I can also attest to the fact that girls need good male role models. My daughter had the best in my father and my brother, but I also appreciated the male teachers that she did have in her elementary school years, and I continue to be grateful to the positive male role models in her high school.

This is an issue to think about, as well as to encourage young men who have an interest in teaching to pursue that interest. Male teachers are in high demand, and there is a very real service that they provide-not just by being teachers, but by being role models for those who need them.

For information on homeschooling, visit Mom Is Teaching

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Currently at issue in the state of Georgia, and in the county school system in our home county, is whether to require that all high school students earn the same diploma. Currently, our high schools have a “tiered” diploma system. Students who aren’t planning to attend a four-year college can graduate from high school with fewer math and science courses than their college-bound peers, and without taking a foreign language.

Our local paper wrote an excellent editorial supporting one diploma, rather than the tiered system, in which students can earn either a vocational-technical diploma, or a college-prep diploma. Students can also earn a dual seal(both diplomas) by taking the right course work. There are other voices on both sides of the argument.

Those include the voices of local educators (teachers and principals), and of parents and local citizens. Supporters of the dual diplomas believe that the option of earning a vocational-technical diploma, with less-rigorous educational requirements, prevents dropping out of school for many students who might otherwise do so. Supporters of the one diploma system believe that it is discriminatory toward some of the students and, also, that it would make streamline the high school system.

Personally, I fall on the side of supporting one diploma. Simply put, one diploma assures that all students graduate from high school with an equal education, and with equal educational opportunities in life, after high school.

We should educate with the idea in mind that all students are going out into the same world. The fact that they choose to pursue careers with different educational requirements is not an issue for educators at the high school level. Most high schools, whether public or private, do not educate students for a career. That is for college-level education, regardless of whether that is a four-year college or a vocational-technical school.

All students should go into the world beyond high school with the best possible education that can be provided for them. In today’s high-tech world, math and science are more necessary than ever, regardless of the type of career one chooses. And since we live in an increasingly more global society, foreign languages are also necessary, not just on a career level, but in our personal lives.

Do the high schools in your area provide different diploma options for students? I’d love to hear from any of you viewing this blog about the diploma system in your area, and your thoughts on whether a one-diploma system is the best system.

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As President Bush and Congress butt heads over the war in Iraq, and whether or not we will pull out our troops, I felt it appropriate to write a post about the casualties in Iraq. There have, to date, been over 3000 American casualties in Iraq. For the record, I do not agree with this war. I want our troops brought home. But that does not mean I do not appreciate their courage in serving their country.

What you don’t seem to see in newscasts is any breakdown of casualties by age. According to the website Iraq Coalition Casualty Count, 237 of those Coalition casualties have been under the age of 20. That’s right- 18 and 19 years old. (I checked quite a few sites for casualty breakdowns, and this site was the one that seemed to break down the numbers best and have the clearest information. If anyone knows of a better site, or has information regarding inaccuracies on this site, please feel free to let me know.)
And, obviously, it is very difficult to find any information on how many Iraqi teenagers have been killed.

For the first time, rather than just reading a casualty count, I actually sat down and thought about the families who are losing teenagers in this war. Oh, I know that, at 18 and 19, they’re considered adults by the military, but how many of us ever really think about our own children as adults! These thoughts are now sticking with me.

I think about my own 16-year-old daughter, and the fact that she could (however unlikely it is at this point), choose to go into the military, and lose her life in war. The mere thought is devastating. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost loved ones in Iraq, but especially to those parents who have lost children who are, at most, only three years older than my daughter.

It can be easy for those of us who are raising teenagers to become mired down in day-to-day life and activities, and forget those who have it tougher. Every day, I drive my daughter to school and back home. I take her to activities like band practice and academic team competitions. We talk about homework, grades, colleges, and prom. For me, that’s everyday life with a teenager. I do not tend to think much about those whose teenagers are thousands of miles away, serving their country and in danger of living their lives. I apologize for that. As a parent, I should think of these things. After all, it could happen to me.

So, while most of deal with day-to-day life with our teenagers, we should remember those parents who are not so fortunate-those who do not have their teens at home. They would probably love to hear about college and grades, and even love to nag their teen again about picking up clothes and cleaning their rooms.

For those of you who have teenagers serving in the military, I am honored that they are serving us. For those of you who have lost teenagers in war, I am humbled by their sacrifice, and by yours. I don’t have to agree with this war to be touched by your losses.

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Today, April 24, is Equal Pay Day. New research by the American Association of University Women shows that the gap in pay between men and women has continued to widen. According to the study, which reviewed U.S. Department of Education data on 19,000 men and women:

For every dollar a man earned in 1994, a woman made 80 cents. By 2003, the gap had widened: Women earned 69 cents.

According to experts interviewed, part of the reason for the pay gap is still the lower number of women in math and science careers. According to the Department of Education, in the year 2000 about18% of undergraduate engineering majors and 39% of math majors were women. Even when men and women have similar degrees, women were more likely to be teaching in their chosen industry, whereas men tended to be in the business side of the industry.

Go to their website to learn more about Equal Pay Day and the reasons behind the wage gap. Talk with your teenage daughters about career choice and the fields in which they can earn more money. Urge them to take a good look at careers in math and sciences.

Fields where women earn at least 5% more than men:

*Sales engineers
*Radiation therapists
*Financiald analysts
*Tool and dye makers

College Majors with Higher Starting Salaries for Women:

*Petroleum engineering
*Physics
*Journalism

Most families are no longer the traditional family unit, where the man is the sole breadwinner. Most single-parent families are headed by women and, in two-parent families, both parents are likely to work. Women making less money than men is no longer simply an issue to become outraged over, it’s something which simply does not make sense.

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Have you talked with your teenager about career choices? Regardless of your teen’s age, it’s never too early to, at least, think about what they will do to make a living. Researching career choices can be a fun and rewarding experience for teens.

If your teen has a certain career in mind, he/she will probably enjoy finding out more about the education and qualifications needed to pursue the career, the types of work and tasks which go into the day-to-day practice of that career, the places where jobs are available and how much money they might expect to make.

Will your teen’s career choice involve college? What type of school? Two year? Four year? Graduate school? A technical school? Although college is highly touted in today’s world, and many careers require at least a four-year degree, there are still careers out there that can be pursued by attending two-year colleges and technical schools, rather than a more long-term school commitment.

One good place for teens to research careers is at Career Zone. This site has a number of interesting resources for students who are looking into the type of career they want. One feature allows teens to do an assessment of themselves by choosing their top three areas of interest and then providing a list of jobs related to those interests. They can then click on a particular job and will be provided with a description of the job, the areas of interest it involves, a list of tasks which the job requires to be performed, and the skills, knowledge and education required for the job.

Students can also enter a search time to look for a particular career. There are links provided to other research areas. The site has a “Featured Career”, which changes regularly. At the time I visited, the career was Physician’s Assistant.

The best feature of the site is “My Portfolio”, which allows them to list and keep track of many things, including their interests, their skills, the classes they have taken and need to take, etc. It also lets students keep a journal, build a resume, and build a career plan, among lots of other things. Check out Career Zone and pass the web address onto your teenagers.

Don’t forget that your teen’s high school counseling office can provide a wealth of information on careers and choices to your student. They can also offer interest assessments and abilities assessments, which can point your teenager to careers. It’s never too early or too late to begin talking with your teenager about the career they’d like to pursue.

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Nothing prepares you for college-for your teenager! My own college years were a breeze, considering what we’re going through now in preparing my 16-year-old daughter for college! As a sophomore in high school, she’s receiving tons of mail from various colleges and we’re weeding through all of it to find the majors she’s interested in, where the schools are in relation to us, the cost of tuition and other fees-as well as lots of other factors. There seem to be no end to the number of factors you can find to figure into where your kid should go to school!

My daughter’s primary interest is in archaeology. We’re finding out that very few schools offer undergraduate majors in archaeology and that you’re not allowed to do much in the field with an undergraduate major anyhow. Therefore, it looks as though she might be majoring in anthropology, then moving on to graduate work in archaeology.

Her best subjects are math and science, so math and, possibly, engineering, are a secondary interest. (I’m trying very hard to keep in mind that she has two more years of high school and, although she has been interested in archaeology for several years, may change her mind before she actually begins college!) We’re trying to find schools that offer both, so that she can major in one and minor in the other.

Then, there’s proximity to consider. I’d really rather she be close enough to us for driving visits (what mom wouldn’t), since weekend trips wouldn’t involve airline tickets and, therefore, be that much more expensive. What we’re running into is that no colleges in our state offer archaeology as an undergraduate major. Therefore, with in-state schools, she’d have to go with an anthropology major, and move onto graduate school for archaeology. Then, we run into the problem that the best school we have found in our state for anthropology (which is, by the way, close enough for weekend visits), and the one she is most interested in, is a private college and, therefore, one of the most expensive!

Given all this, we move on to cost which, at this particular school, is almost $50,000 per year! I get short of breath just typing that number! Which means that, if she goes to this particular school, she’s going to need lots of financial aid. At this point, we have to get into searching for financial aid available at a national level, at the state level, and at this particular school, as well as any community aid that might be available.

Are you dizzy yet? I am, and there’s still two more years of this process to go, and more schools to consider! I’d rather go through my own six years of college and graduate school all over again! However, during the process, I’ve found that there are places to get help (besides my psychiatrist’s office!). Her school counselor has been very helpful in providing us with her time, and with lots of information. She’s also provided us with several worksheets we can use to help organize some of the chaos.

A great website to visit is College Board. During the search phase, they have a great College Matchmaker feature, which allows you to put in all kinds of parameters that you or your child want in a college. It then uses those parameters to spit out a list of schools matching your choices. The more parameters you put in, the more it narrows down your search.

It also has all kinds of other neat features, which allow parents to consider the costs of colleges and plan how much financial aid might be needed. It allows students to set up an account and organize a plan for college, as well as provides information about where they should be in their plan, starting as early as their sophomore year in high school. There’s tons of other features-way too many to list.

Check out this site, as well as talking with your son or daughter’s counselor. Start getting a handle on all the confusing information and decisions to be made as soon as you can! I’m sure I’ll be posting lots more on this subject, given where my daughter is in her high school career! I’ll let you know about other resources I find.

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Today’s homework helper is a great public library web site. The King County Library System in Washington State has a really good homework helper page on the Arts. Here are just a few of the topics they have to offer:

*Animation and Cartooning
*Art History
*Artists
*Crafts
*Film
*Photography
*Sculpture

Each section lists numerous links to really good sites about that particular topic. If your teen is studying art history, has an assignment relating to a specific artist, or is just interested in the arts, they should find this site helpful.

In addition to homework helper, they also have a section titled TeenZone which features reviews of books for teens and reading lists for different genres. It also has links to sites on creative writing, careers and college, as well as crisis help and support. A few features require that you have their library card, but most are accessible by anyone.

A very good site for students, budding artists, readers and just about anyone!

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Where have you learned what you know about parenting? From your own parents? From books you’ve read? From friends? From parenting classes? We tend to get useful information on parenting from a variety of sources in our lives. But who would think that reality TV juggernaut “American Idol” could teach us anything about parenting?! A few weeks ago, I certainly wouldn’t have said so!

However, it occured to me over the last few weeks, as my daughter and I watched the auditions together, that there was a very important lesson in all this for parents of teenagers. As one hopeful teen after another came out to sing for the judges and was rejected, I found myself asking “Who on earth told this kid that he/she could sing?!”

The answer, at least for some of the teens, was: their parents. Parents who had accompanied their teens to auditions would be waiting outside those doors, many disbelieving that their son or daughter had not been selected to go to Hollywood. Some even tried to persuade judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Paula Abdul that they had made a mistake-that their teen was really a wonderful singer.

For some of these teens, obviously, this was a very big deal. Despite terrible auditions, they were devastated when they were not chosen to go on. They sobbed, begged and pleaded for another chance. They made excuses for why their auditions had gone so badly-they were really nervous, they had had colds, etc., etc.-one contestant even protesting that it was the bare floor which had made her sound so bad (she was just as bad on the carpet)!

I can’t help thinking that some of the parents of these teenagers have been overzealous in supporting their kids’ ambitions. Should you support your teen? Yes. Absolutely! Should you support them in aspiring to a career in a field for which they do not have what it takes to make it? No. Look at it this way. If your teenage daughter barely makes it through math classes with help from tutors, would you tell her to consider a career in accounting? No. If your son is a couch potato who is clumsy as well, would you tell him he could make it in pro basketball? Probably not.

In our entertainment-saturated culture, many teenagers aspire to be celebrities. They want to be the next Britney Spears, the next Lindsay Lohan, the next Justin Timberlake-the next American Idol. They want it so much that they forget that they must have a certain amount of talent to get there.

We all want to support and encourage our teens to be the best they can, to do the best they can. We want them to have a life that they enjoy. But what we shouldn’t do is lie to them. Don’t tell your son he’s a great basketball player if he can’t make a free throw to save his life. Don’t tell your daughter that she sings great if she can’t carry a tune. Basically, don’t give them false hopes.

You don’t have to be as harsh with your comments as Simon Cowell! Just remember to compliment and support your teens’ strengths, rather than their weaknesses. Help them develop interests at which they have real talents. Encourage them to explore new areas and find new interests. Teach them to set goals which are attainable.

Teens’ lives will contain disappointments and setbacks. Don’t help set them up for more disappointments if they have no chance of succeeding. And another thing: teach them to accept criticism and disappointment with grace and dignity. That’s an important life lesson for all of us.

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Apparently, 17-year-old “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe and his parents are receiving criticism for his starring role in London’s West End production of the play “Equus”. Some parents of children who are fans of the teen star are up in arms over the appearance of one of their children’s role models appearing nude.

As the parent of a teenager (who is a huge fan of Harry Potter and Radcliffe)-and a fan myself-I, personally, have no problem with it. Daniel Radcliffe gives all the appearances of being a mature and self-aware young man. He chose to have an acting career and his parents have supported him in this. “Equus” is a deep and dramatic production, and Radcliffe’s role as a disturbed young man is an actor’s dream. Read Radcliffe’s defense of his role. It certainly sounds like that of a young man who is thinking of his career and not sensationalism

Personally I think, if the subject comes up at all, parents should simply explain to children that Radcliffe is an actor who takes on roles other than that of Harry Potter and that this particular role requires him to appear without clothing. I mean, really, people are making more of a big deal out of this than it should be!

I guess the major question, in the context of this blog, is: How would you feel about your own teenager pursuing a career or a part which required nudity? Would you allow them to do it? Do you think you could feel comfortable with it?

And the other question: Would you allow your teenage Daniel Radcliffe fan to see this play? Let me know how you feel.

Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter, Equus, teens, teenagers, parents, parenting, parenting teens

With the sixth season of Fox TV’s “American Idol” premiering tonight, I thought of a question that I’d like to ask the parents of teenagers. Would you want your teen to audition for “American Idol”? How do you think your teen would handle being chosen? Not being chosen? How would you feel about either situation?

Of last season’s finalists, Kevin Covais, Lisa Tucker, Paris Bennett, and Kellie Pickler were all in their teens. They all seemed to handle being in the public eye well, but I had to wonder, as the mother of a teen, how they handled things off-camera. It takes a teen with a certain amount of maturity and confidence to handle themselves in such situations.

Beyond a few brief stints in local theater groups, my daughter hasn’t had the slightest interest in the entertainment industry. One of her best friends has the acting bug and is planning to major in theater arts when she goes to college next year. This girl has both her feet planted firmly on the ground and doesn’t expect to be a star. She just wants to make a living being involved in the theater. Her mom (my best friend) has encouraged her all the way, but warned her about all the disappointments that can be involved in any entertainment career which, I think, has been a good way to approach the subject.

With TV like the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, and shows like “American Idol” we see pre-teens and teenagers going into entertainment careers every day. I’m just wondering how parents out there feel about teens going into showbiz and, specifically, how they would feel if their teen wanted a career in entertainment.

Let me hear from you parents on this one.

teens, teenagers, parents, parenting, American Idol, Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, Kevin Covais, Lisa Tucker, Paris Bennett, Kellie Pickler