Site Meter Parenting Teens

Girls Dropping Out

by Gayle

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Do you know anything about the dropout rate in your local school system? Do you have a daughter who may be in danger of dropping out of high school?

The National Women’s Law Center has a new report titled When Girls Don’t Graduate, We All Fail: A Call To Improve High School Graduation Rates for Girls

The statistics truly are alarming. The report states that 1,000 high school students drop out of school each hour in America. This means that 30% of the class of 2007, or 1.2 million students are estimated to have dropped out of school last year.

Also according to the report, one in three boys, and nearly 50% of some racial and ethnic groups will not graduate with a diploma in four years of high school. Among girls, one in four overall will not graduate from high school. One in two Native American girls will not graduate; four in ten African-American girls, and nearly four in ten Hispanic girls do not graduate each year.

The study gives the following recommendations for dealing with dropout prevention:

* Combating sexual harassment in schools. Both boys and girls report that they drop out in part because they do not feel safe at school. Download a fact sheet on sexual harassment for schools or for students.
* Providing better support for pregnant and parenting students. Pregnancy and parenting responsibilities play a significant role in many girls’ decisions to drop out of school.
* Ensuring equal access for girls to career and technical education classes. These classes provide training for high-skill, high-wage jobs. Offering career education programs that emphasize the link between academic work, college success, and careers has been proven to reduce dropout rates.
* Ensuring equal access for girls to after-school programs, including athletics programs. Studies have shown that participation in after-school programs improves graduation rates and academic achievement.

Do you know anything about the dropout rate in your local schools? Even if you don’t have teens at risk of dropping out, you should be concerned. We’re raising the generation who will, one day, be in charge of things and, hopefully, taking care of us!

Volunteer to help in efforts to curb dropout rates. Our teens and the rest of society will be better for it.

For more on parenting, see Parenting The Adopted.

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More Male Teachers Needed

by Gayle

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Are your teen’s teachers male or female? Does that question ever come up for you? Do you consider whether your student is getting good role models from both sexes?

Nationally, the number of male teachers in classrooms is declining, especially in elementary schools. According to Scholastic,
in 1980 about 17 percent of teachers in elementary school classrooms were male, compared with 14.2 percent today. In secondary schools, the number of men in classrooms has dropped from just over 50 percent in 1980 to less than 40 percent today.

The National Education Association (NEA) puts the percentage of male teachers nationwide at a 40 year low. And, according to NEA president Reg Weaver, the scarcity of male teachers is unfortunate, given the high divorce rate and men increasingly absent from the home. He says that male teachers are increasingly needed as role models for children.

“…one of the reasons colleges of education find it difficult to attract men into the profession (is) because of the outdated notion that teaching is a woman’s profession,” Weaver said. “And that could not be further from the truth.” The perception of teaching as a woman’s profession is still there, as is the reality of low pay and men needing to be breadwinners. However, more reasons than those are also part of the decline.

According to Steve Peha, president of Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc., other factors are more important. Many male teachers go into administrative positions to be more upwardly mobile. Others may not like being one of the few male teachers in a school, where they experience loneliness. And many feel threatened in a society where parents are likely to bring sexual misconduct charges at the drop of a hat. “I’ve had plenty of principals admit to me in private that they just don’t want to deal with men in the primary grades at all,” Peha says. “It’s not prejudice, it’s politics. They know that women in those positions will be more readily accepted by parents.”

It’s our children who lose because of these attitudes, most especially, perhaps, the boys. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2006, 12.9 million households were headed by single parents, with 10.4 million of those headed by single mothers. Boys need role models in a society where men may increasingly be absent from the household on a full-time basis.

As a single mother who raised a daughter alone for several years, I can also attest to the fact that girls need good male role models. My daughter had the best in my father and my brother, but I also appreciated the male teachers that she did have in her elementary school years, and I continue to be grateful to the positive male role models in her high school.

This is an issue to think about, as well as to encourage young men who have an interest in teaching to pursue that interest. Male teachers are in high demand, and there is a very real service that they provide-not just by being teachers, but by being role models for those who need them.

For information on homeschooling, visit Mom Is Teaching

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Viewing Childbirth In School

by Gayle

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I’m really on my soapbox this morning, so I just have to blog about it! I found this article online at the Athens Banner-Herald, a local paper here in Georgia. Apparently, parents of kids at Malcolm Bridge Elementary School in Oglethorpe County, Georgia, are up in arms over their children seeing a video with a scene depicting childbirth.

The show is a 1997 episode of “Reading Rainbow” called “On The Day You Were Born.” According to the article, teachers have been showing this video every year since it was aired in 1997. It is part of the school’s approved curriculum. The video is part of a section of lessons on family changes, and depicts a real family of five dealing with the expected birth of a new child.

I haven’t seen the video, but the article describes the controversial(!) scene as real, and not a dramatization. The mother is shown from the side dressed in a hospital gown, and no private parts are revealed. Following the birth, the doctor holds up the newborn for the camera.

Some parents were outraged that their children had been shown this video. One mother called it “disgusting” and thought that parents should have been notified that it would be shown. The teachers who showed the video wrote a letter home to the parents, apologizing for any issues it had caused.

What is wrong with these people?! Since when is childbirth disgusting? I’m the proud mom of a 17-year-old. I remember her birth as though it were yesterday. There was nothing disgusting about it. I’ll grant you, there were moments in there when I wasn’t exactly having fun, but I certainly didn’t find it repulsive. And just look what I have to show for it!

I’m genuinely amazed by the attitudes of some people. What kind of examples are we setting for our children by making so much fuss over something which is a normal, natural part of life? I wonder what that mom will say if her child asks if she found his/her birth “disgusting?”

I realize this has nothing in particular to do with teenagers, but I’ve seen parents of teens with the same strait-laced attitudes. Let’s lighten up here, people!

For more on younger children, go to
Parenting Children

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Helping Teens With ADHD

by Gayle

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Do you have a teenager with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)? Does he or she often feel overwhelmed. For most of us, the feeling of being overwhelmed comes along with a big project or some kind of stressful event. For a teen with ADHD, that overwhelming feeling can come with something as simple as doing homework, or planning how to use weekend time.

Another concern is school projects, such as book reports, presentations-anything that will take more than a few hours to complete. The fact that it must be done in steps over a period of time adds to the problem. How do you help your teen address such issues?

For overwhelming nightly homework, help your teenager choose the first assignment to do. If possible, choose an assignment which they enjoy, find easy to do, or that is short. This will be faster to complete, and will help them feel a sense of accomplishment at completing the task, which can raise their level of confidence. When your child is working on an assignment, have him/her put everything else away, and simply concentrate on the task at hand. No distractions. This can make homework go much more smoothly for an ADHD child.

For larger projects, break down the larger project into its smaller steps, and schedule the entire project on a calendar. Perhaps you will want to keep the calendar out of your teen’s sight, so that the sight of the entire project doesn’t give them that overwhelmed feeling again! On a calendar that your teen has access to, write down one item at a time on the date it needs to be completed. This way, he/she has only one item to concentrate on-not a bunch of tasks over a large period of time. After they have completed the task on the calendar, you can mark it off as finished, and add another task.

To help a teen manage weekend time, assist them in making out a schedule. First, schedule time for things which must be done, such as chores and homework. If they have outings with friends or groups, put those into the schedule at the proper times. Helping your ADHD teen get into the habit of planning and allocating their time is a skill they will use for the rest of their lives. Helping them do it now will make it easier for teenagers when they go away to college.

If you have a teen or other child with ADHD and have any tips for the rest of us, please let us know in the comments!

Check out Mental & Emotional Health for other good tips.

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Rapper T.I. Jailed

by Gayle

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For those of you who don’t follow the music and artists that your teenagers follow,27-year-old rapper T.I.(Clifford Harris, Jr.) is currently in jail in Atlanta. He faces federal weapons-related charges, including possessing three unregistered machine guns, two silencers, and possession of firearms by a convicted felon.

T.I. is a big name in rap. His best-selling albums include King, Urban Legend, and Trap Muzik, as well as the movie soundtrack Hustle and Flow. His movie appearances include ATL and the current American Gangster with Denzel Washington. He hangs out with other rappers like Diddy, Young Jeezy, and Jay-Z. He’s a big influence in the lives of some of your teens out there.

T.I. was arrested on Saturday night, just hours before he was to appear on BET’s Hip-Hop awards in Atlanta. His arrest came as part of a federal sting operation in which his bodyguard was arrested attempting to purchase firearms from an undercover Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (ATF) agent. The bodyguard informed the ATF that he was purchasing the weapons for T.I., with money provided to him by the rapper.

The bodyguard also informed the ATF that T.I. had fronted him thousands of dollars to buy guns on four different occasions since July of this year. In cooperation with the ATF, the bodyguard wore a wire while meeting with T.I. to hand over three machine guns and two silencers. When he was told about one of the silencers, T.I. reportedly said “no flash, no bang” and asked for the “change leftover” from the $12,000 he had given the bodyguard for the weapons. At that point, he was taken into custody.

T.I. was convicted of drug distribution in June, 1998 in Georgia. He also has additional arrests, and a probation violation for unlawfully possessing firearms. This prevents him from legally buying guns himself. He will remain in jail at least until Friday, when hearings will be held to determine whether he is eligible for bail, and whether there was probable cause to arrest him.

Sounds like yet another wonderful role model for our kids. If you have teens who are into rap, talk about this situation with them, and follow the news with them. Seeing their idols forced to answer to, and take responsibility for, their actions, just might make them think a little harder before getting into trouble.

For more news on rappers see:
Diddy
Young Jeezy

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More Violence Among Our Teens-By Their Peers

by Gayle

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The past week saw two more incidents involving school shootings or potential shootings by teenagers. On Wednesday in Cleveland, Ohio, 14-year-old Asa Coon shot two students and two teachers, before killing himself. Police are currently reviewing surveillance videos, trying to find out how the teenagers was able to enter SuccessTech Academy alternative school, while armed with two revolvers.

The teen also, apparently, had made threats the previous week, which went unheeded, along with other warning signs from the troubled boy. Asa Coon had been suspended the Monday before the shooting for a fight, but fellow students said that school personnel had not done anything about threats he had made the previous week to blow up the school and stab students. Rasheem Smith, 15, a classmate, said, “I told my friends in the class that he had a gun and stuff. We talked to the principal. She would try to get us all in the office, but it would always be too busy for it to happen.”

Asa’s older brother, Stephen Coon, 19, was arrested the day after the shooting for theft and parole violations. And an arrest warrant was issued for his mother, Lori Looney, for obstruction of justice, after she lied to police about the whereabouts of Stephen.

The second incident occurred in Philadelphia. There, police were able to prevent a planned attack at Plymouth Whitemarsh High School by another 14-year-old boy. The teenager had amassed an arsenal of including knives, swords, about 80 pellet guns-and a rifle bought for him by his mother. The mother, Michele Cossey, has been arrested and charged with providing a firearm to a minor, and contributing to the corruption of a minor.

Her teen son was arrested late Wednesday and told police he had been planning a “Columbine-type attack” on the high school. The boy’s parents had taken him out of middle school and homeschooled him for the past 18 months, because of bullying.

These are yet two more tragic and shameful incidents which plainly illustrate the ways in which we are failing our children. Failure to communicate with our teens, and failure to take action when signs of trouble or violence are seen has tragic consequences. Please stay in touch with what’s going on with your teenagers! If you see ANY signs of problems, take them seriously, and get help for your child. It can save grief and lives-including those of your teenager and yourself.

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Domestic Violence Awareness

by Gayle

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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s the perfect time to talk with your teen about the dangers of finding themselves involved in a relationship with violence or the potential for violence. According to the website Choose Respect, 1 in 11 high school students report being the victim of physical dating abuse, and about one in four teens reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse each year.

Following is the text of the Teen Dating Bill of Rights:

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Teen Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge

I have the right:

To always be treated with respect.

In a respectful relationship, you should be treated as an equal.

To be in a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is not controlling, manipulative, or jealous.
A healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, and communication.

To not be hurt physically or emotionally.

You should feel safe in your relationship at all times. Abuse is never deserved and is never your fault.
Conflicts should be resolved in a peaceful and rational way.

To refuse sex or affection at anytime.

A healthy relationship involves making consensual sexual decisions. You have the right to not have sex.
Even if you have had sex before, you have the right to refuse sex for any reason.

To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend.

Spending time by yourself, with male or female friends, or with family is normal and healthy.

To end a relationship.

You should not be harassed, threatened, or made to feel guilty for ending an unhealthy or healthy
relationship. You have the right to end a relationship for any reason you choose.

I pledge to:

Always treat my boyfriend or girlfriend with respect.

Never hurt my boyfriend or girlfriend physically, verbally, or emotionally.

Respect my girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s decisions concerning sex and affection.

Not be controlling or manipulative in my relationship.

Accept responsibility for myself and my actions.
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Be sure to talk with your teenager (whether male or female), about violence in relationships. Have them be watchful about any treatment or attitudes which make them uncomfortable from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Getting into inappropriate relationships can become a pattern. Help your teens know how to set boundaries, and be aware of the behavior of those with whom they have relationships.

For more on emotional issues, visit

Mental and Emotional Health

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Financing College

by Gayle

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College costs in danger of interfering with your teenager’s education? There’s lots of information out there about applying for federal financial aid, but there are plenty of other ways to get money and to save money on college costs. Here’s a few of them.

1. Out-of-state or in-state? In-state reciprocity is a deal whereby states agree to let their residents attend college at participating schools in other states at reduced rates. If your prospective student is interested in college in a nearby state, check with the school to see if this is a possibility, and if your student might qualify. You can also check with your state education department. Check at ed.gov/about/contacts/state to get help.

2. A financial aid decision can be appealed. Has your teen been denied for federal financial aid, or given too little? If financial pressures such as medical disability, a job status change, etc., have come up since aid was first applied for, some schools will review their decision on how much aid a student was given. If you do appeal, be prepared. Make an appointment with a financial aid officer, and get copies of financial statements, medical records, expense records, or anything else the financial aid office asks for, promptly.

3. Community service pays. Volunteer organizations connected with AmeriCorps will help pay for college if a student volunteers with them. Recent high school and college grads can work as a teacher, home builder, or community organizer. Americorps will give a student up to $4, 725 per year toward tuition, in return for a year of service. See their website for more information.

4. Private schools aren’t necessarily more expensive. Many private schools hand out more financial aid than their public counterparts. You might actually end up spending less on a private school.

5. Try CLEPping some classes. High scores on the College-Level Examination Program (CLEP) exams can allow you to get credit for classes on some basic required courses. Check with the college admissions office to see if you might qualify. Some colleges also give credit for advanced placement classes taken in high school.

6. Save hundreds with used textbooks. The cost of new textbooks is at an all-time high. Books for a single semester of college work can now cost in the hundreds. If the book your teen needs isn’t a new edition of an earlier textbook, buying used is the way to go. Some even find that information highlighted by students who previously used the book can come in handy, especially if they were good students!

There are all kinds of ways to get and save money for college. Sit down and brainstorm with your teenager on how they can save and you can help!

Check out the information on other parenting sites:

Mom Is Teaching
Parenting and Religion

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Bush Vetoes Our Children

by Gayle

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Our ungenerous-to-a-fault president has, once again, told us where his priorities stand-he will authorize more spending for the war, but not for our children’s health. President Bush has-as promised-vetoed a bill which would have expanded the coverage of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program(SCHIP).

SCHIP is a joint state-federal program which subsidizes health coverage 6.6 million people, mostly children, whose families earn too much to qualify for Medicaid, but not enough to afford their own private insurance coverage. Democrats (and many Republicans) had passed the bill, which would add $35 billion over five years. This would have allowed four million additional children to be covered by the program. The expansion would have been funded by raising the federal tax on cigarettes to $1 per pack.

The president’s reasons for vetoing the bill were that it was too costly, took the program too far from its original intent of helping the poor, and would entice people to switch to government insurance coverage from private insurers. He argued that the plan would be a move toward socialized medicine, by expanding the program to higher-income families.

House Democratic leaders plan to try to override the veto. The Senate approved the bill with enough votes to override the veto, but the House will need some 15 more votes to get the required 2/3 majority they need to override Bush’s veto.

We should all hope and pray that the required number of votes will be attained. This is an extremely important program for our children and teens. Contact your Senators and Representatives to let them know that you support this bill. Let them know that we are tired of a president who favors war spending over the health of our children.

For more on this issue, go to:
Media Critiques

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Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

by Gayle

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I’ve posted several times before on the importance of communicating well with your teenager. However, this is one subject of which I think we can never really get enough!

During the teen years, children are making the dramatic transition to young adulthood. There is probably no other stage of childhood at which parents and children have more trouble communicating feelings. The child who once came to you with troubles, who liked getting hugs and kisses is now remote and uncommunicative. At the same time, a parent’s feelings toward a teen are becoming more complicated. You have pride in your child’s accomplishments and his becoming more independent, but at the same time, fear of your changing relationship, sadness at the end of his childhood, and frustration over losing some of your control over him.

Parents have preconceived ideas about what their teenager is or should be. This leads to many problems. A teenager is engaged in the process of becoming separate from mom and dad.

One good example of that struggle is appearance. Clothing, hairstyles, and makeup of which mom and dad don’t approve can be a major source of discord. A good rule of thumb to follow is that, if you can accept what

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consider to be less-than-acceptable appearances in informal, everyday situations, it can give you some leverage in getting your teenager to dress more acceptably on more formal occasions.

By harrassing your teen about less important things like length of hair and style of dress, you allow more important issues to get lost in the shuffle. By respecting and accepting your teenager’s individuality in matters such as hair and dress, you help keep tension and strain between you at a lower level, allowing you to communicate more easily about the important things.

In short-don’t sweat the small stuff! Keep communications lines open for discussing really important issues!

For info and tips on communicating with younger children, check out:
Parenting Our Children
Parenting Toddlers

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Good Books for Teens

by Gayle

It can be difficult to find books for teens that hold their interest and, at the same time, deal with real life. The Kimani TRU line from Harlequin is a line of books aimed specifically at African-American teenagers. They feature strong characters, and deal with today’s teen issues in sensitive and down-to-earth ways that teens can relate to, and yet still hold their reading interest. And one bit of good news is that some of these books have male lead characters which can hold a guy’s interest as well! There’s a new book from this imprint on the first of each month. Here are descriptions from the August, September, and October releases.

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James “JD” Dawson grew up in the hood, but left a life of violence three thousand miles behind to make something of himself at Clark Atlanta University. But when the freshman got off to a fool’s start–kicking it with his new homeboys, showing up late to class, not studying and checking out the shorties–JD was assigned a tutor, the luscious Katrina Turner. She made studying real fun. But if JD wanted to get with a girl like Katrina, he’d also have to learn to grow up.
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Three girls. Three high schools. Three gotta-read stories.

How To Be Down by Felicia Pride

When Nina Parker decides to straighten her Afro, lose her valley-girl accent and get a total makeover for her new school in the hood, the cutest guy notices — yes! But so does the meanest girl, Vivica, queen bee of her crew, who wants Jeffrey for herself.

Double Act by Debbie Rigaud

In the hood, Mia Chambers is ‘the smart girl,’ but at her prestigious new prep school she hardly stands out. So Mia does what it takes — only to be accused of selling out by her old friends!

The Summer She Learned To Dance by Karen Valentin

At first, Giselle Johnson hates spending the summer with her cousin from the Dominican Republic. But she soon starts loving the island and even learns to dance to her own rhythm. That is, until her cousin attracts Giselle’s high school crush…
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Fifteen-year-old Kenisha Lewis has it all: good friends who also live to dance, a hot boyfriend headed for the NBA, loving parents and a bling-filled home in the burbs.

But all that changes when her dad drops a bomb: he wants a divorce–and his pregnant girlfriend is moving in. Suddenly, Kenisha and her mom are squeezed into her grandmother’s small house in the city, and Kenisha’s sharing a bedroom with a cousin she barely knows. Could she hate her life any more? Yeah. Because her boyfriend dumps her, her friends are acting weird and her mother is getting more and more depressed. Time for Kenisha to push the pause button on her life and take a long, deep breath…
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For more on books for teens, visit Jackie at
Tiny Treasury

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Teens and Cell Phones

by Gayle

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The chances are good that your teen or tween has a cell phone. According to Linda Barrabee, a wireless market analyst for The Yankee Group, 56% of 13-to-17-year-olds have cell phones, compared to just 5% in the year 2000. What are kids doing with all those phones?

Originally, cell phones were used to make calls in case of emergency. A car broke down or you were stuck at a meeting somewhere. Cell phones eliminated the need to make sure you had quarters for the pay phone, and that you could find a pay phone when you needed one! Great idea, right!

That was until teenagers became one of the primary markets for cell phone manufacturers. Now you can do anything with a cell phone. Not only can you make calls and send text messages, you can take pictures, surf the web, play video games, watch movies and music videos (although those tiny screens are murder!). The cell phone has become a mini-computer-much smaller and easier to carry than a laptop.

My 17-year-old uses her cell phone primarily for texting friends. By paying an extra ten dollars per month, she gets unlimited texting. That’s actually a bargain, considering the amount of texting she does. She does use it to stay in touch with me when she’s at afterschool activities, on school trips, or just out shopping. She does that with actual phone calls. I just can’t get into texting. Call me an old fogey, but all those text abbreviations bug me (bff-best friend forever, idk-i don’t know). I just prefer to use whole words!

However, with cell phones being put to so many uses these days, some parents are becoming concerned about the kinds of things their kids have access to on them. At home, you can monitor your kids’ computer usage and block sites that you don’t want them to visit. It’s not so easy on their cell phones.

More and more cell phone manufacturers are seeing the need to give parents some control over what their kids have access to via a phone. Erinn, over at Parenting Our Children has a review of a new phone that allows parents to decide when the phone will be on and what features kids will be allowed to use.

If your tweens and teens carry cell phones, you might want to look into any controls that your company or phone allows you to have over your kids’ phone usage. These days, strangers have access to your kids via their cell phones. And that’s not a good thing.

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Miley and Hannah Selling Out

by Gayle

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Selling out concerts, that is! Now that ugly rumors of 14-year-old Miley Cyrus’ pregnancy have proven to be a hoax, she can concentrate once more on her upcoming tour. Those pregnancy rumors that abounded online were found to spring from an altered story from J-14 magazine.

The story had been modified to contain a supposed quote from Miley, which read “I’m going to take good care of my baby, I’ve already gained seven pounds. I was in real shock when it happened accidentally, I went a little to [sic] far. I’m sorry to all of my fans.”

The magazine was quick to deny any involvement in the rumors about Miley. Editor-in-chief Janet Giovanelli said, “Miley is an intelligent, respectable role model for young girls, and we at J-14 pride ourselves on presenting our readers with credible stories and information. This story is completely fabricated!”

So, now that that nasty rumor is history, Miley is back to her tour. For those parents who may be asking, “Who the heck IS Miley Cyrus?”, she plays the fanatically popular Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel’s TV show of the same name. I took the time to watch a couple of episodes.

The show is fairly innocuous. Miley Cyrus plays Miley Stewart, a teen who leads a double life. By day, she’s an everyday schoolgirl. By night, she’s a pop star. Her father is played by Miley’s real-life dad, country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. Is this confusing enough for you? Good. I’d hate to be the only one!

The show has proven to be a big hit for Disney. Disney has been very successful at turning out teenage singer/actresses-Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, etc. And, personally, I don’t find Miley any worse (or any better) than the rest of them.

And her show is, apparently, carrying over well to the concert stage. On her tour, titled Best of Both Worlds, Miley sings onstage as both herself and her Hannah Montana character. And the tickets are going like hotcakes! ‘Tweens and teens can’t seem to get enough of Miley/Hannah. Shows are reportedly selling out within minutes.

So, if you have kids who want to see the show, good luck getting tickets! If you have kids who are going to the show, and dragging you with them-try to relax and enjoy it! The best thing about Miley is that, at least, she’s a better role model for your kids than lots of others out there!

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Discrimination and the Mentally Handicapped

by Gayle

I belong to several groups dealing with parenting teenagers. The other day, the subject of discrimination against the mentally handicapped came up in one of those groups. One mother of a young teen in middle school brought up the report by her daughter that the word “retard” was used all the time by students at her school. Students apparently used the word as an adjective and as a derogatory remark against other students.

This member has a two-and-a-half year old nephew who has Down’s Syndrome. Her daughter is very close to her cousin, and was angered and hurt by the casual use of this word among her fellow students. We were all upset that this word would be used so callously by young teens. The girl’s parent felt that, since their school district sent all mentally handicapped students to one particular school, the causal use of this word was a result of these students not being exposed to their peers with mental disabilities. I have other ideas.

I place this squarely with the parents of students who would use such hurtful and derogatory remarks. As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children to have compassion for others and to respect their feelings. The use of such words is, to me, a clear example that parents have not taught their children such compassion. Now, I realize that children can pick up on a word used by a peer and repeat it, sometimes not realizing how hurtful it can be. But such word use does not, originally, come from a vacuum. Children pick up on parents and other family members who do not have care and compassion for others. They will mimic not only words, but actions.

As a group we discussed this mother going to the school administration and/or the counseling office and requesting that the children receive some sensitivity training in this area. I’d suggest the same thing to any of you who have teens or any age children in a school where this type of thing goes on. It won’t stop all of the children from using such hurtful words, but it will reach some, who will realize that they are hurting the feelings of others. And be sure that you talk with teens, and any age children, about compassion and respecting others’ feelings.

The above Youtube video is a heartfelt speech by a high school student with a mentally handicapped sister. He talks about how he has learned more about life and love from his sister than from any classroom. Watch it, and share it with your teens. It has some very valuable lessons.

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Getting Caught With Your Pants Down

by Gayle

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How do you feel about the sagging pants trend among teens? My daughter and I were in the grocery section of the local Wal-Mart about a week ago, and saw one young man whose boxer shorts were almost totally revealed. We manged to hold back our giggles until we had rounded the corner into the next aisle, but then we almost collapsed! The guy’s green, blue, and white plaid boxers had us in stitches! I found myself wondering if he had bought them in Wal-Mart, so that at least they were getting some free advertising!

Seriously, if I want to see your underwear, I’ll be bold enough to walk up and ask you! Yahoo! News reports that some municipalities are now “cracking down” on crack-revealing pants and shorts. I had read about this in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and considered myself all for it.

Now comes the news that many people consider these laws racial stereotyping aimed at blacks. One African-American shop owner asked if the laws would also go after plumbers and construction workers whose pants sag. Fine by me. I don’t care anything about seeing their underwear (or anything else they have) either.

Even the ACLU is getting in on this, as evidenced by the following: “In Atlanta, we see this as racial profiling,” said Benetta Standly, statewide organizer for the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia. “It’s going to target African-American male youths. There’s a fear with people associating the way you dress with crimes being committed.”

I’ve seen plenty of youths other than African-Americans wearing these saggy pants. The issue is the saggy pants themselves, not the color of the skin underneath them. This is just a very unattractive and disrespectful trend. As for associating this with crimes being committed, it’s widely reported that this particular fashion statement originated in prison. What, exactly, does that say?

I’m not so sure new laws are needed though. Don’t most cities and towns already have laws dealing with indecent exposure? Shouldn’t we just be enforcing those?

Personally, I hope the saggy pants trend ends soon. As I said earlier, if I want to see your underwear, I’ll ask. Otherwise, just assume I’d rather see you with your pants on.

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    » Gayle